Start of an End

Finally…my vacation has started….yeah!!!

Walo demikian…datangnya liburan ini bagiku bukanlah akhir dari perjalanan ku disini. Malah sebaliknya, bisa dibilang sebagai awal dari banyak hal yang akan datang.

Pertama2…tugas. Akhirnya….selesai juga sih. Namun demikian selesainya tugas bagiku menimbulkan suatu rasa gamang dan sekaligus kecewa. Gamang akan bagaimana nilai2q nantinya, mengingat semester ini nilai2 ku bisa dikatakan ngga begitu memuaskan. Kecewa karena nilai juga sih…tapi lebih pada fakta bahwa aku semester ini ngga memperhatikan diriku sebaik semester lalu dalam hal fisik dan mental belajar. Aku merasa bisa melakukan lebih untuk medapatkan nilai2 dari kuliah2 ku semester ini. Walo demikian….rasanya semua sudah terlambat…yang bisa kulakukan hanyalah berdoa…semoga hasil semester ini ngga lebih jelek dari semester lalu (at least).
Lainnya….

Pindah kamar…fuuuhhhh…pindah juga kemaren. Agak sedih juga sih ninggalin kamar yang sdh 2 semester aq tempati. Seperti yang kujelaskan pada beberapa blog yang lalu, aq pindah lebih karena alasan ingin dapat nuansa yang lebih ramai coz di asrama sepiiii banget. Eniwei…aq dah dsini setelah proses pengangkutan barang2 yang gede2 secara kilat kemaren sore usai ngajar iqra. Seharian ini aja juga masih ngelanjutin pindah2in barang2 kecil ke tempat baru…naik sepeda!!Kedengarannya gila…tapi juju raja, aq pengen ngetes stamina, jarak dan waktu tempuh. Ternyata engga jelek juga, rata2 waktu tempuh Cuma 20 menit. Not bad…itung2 juga olahraga nih;). My hope here…aq bisa betah dan engga perlu pindah2 lagi:P

Kerja…ahhh….datang juga saat aq bsa kerja tiap hari. Emang, kerja itu capek (emang ada kerja yg g capek:P?). Tapi…aq piker sih mendingan gini. Paling engga aq ada kegiatan yg sifatnya produktif. Daripada luntang luntung nunggu waktu2 pulang yg msh lama, mendingan kerja aja deh. Khan lumayan euy…dapat duit juga:D. Dan entah kenapa…aq belakangan ngerasa…dah mulai bisa menikmati kerjaq sekarang. Walo capek pun rasanya masih bsa enjoy, padahal dulu kalo dah capek…rasanya bener2 sumpek. Entah napa ya??Eniwei…perubahan ini bener2 aq nikmati coz bagaimanapun, aq rasa g jelek juga hal ini:P. Semoga aja kedepannya sikap semacam ini tetep bisa kupertahankan sehingga bisa menunjang kerjaku;).

Ngajar…..suatu kegiatan baru yang kelakukan belakangan. Awalnya sih diajak si head. It turned out not too bad. Malah dapat pengalaman dan wawasan baru. Terutama dalam hal menghadapi anak2 kecil yang seringkali susah tuk diajak belajar iqra:P. Bener2 butuh ketelatenan dan kesabaran dalam menghadapi mereka. Terlepas dari tantangannya, aq berharap kegiatan ini bisa tetap kulakukan kedepannya. Karena aq sendiri juga menganggap hal ini bisa memaksaku untuk lebih mendalami agama dan berperilaku secara lebih baik, amin.

Fuuuhhh….what next?Jalan2?Ahya…pengennya sih, mumpung belum balik ke indo juga. Tapi dengan kegiatan2 kaya kerja n ngajar, aq kok sekarang jadi agak pesimis bisa jalan2. Padahal masih banyak tempat d perth yang pengen kujelajahi. Kayanya sih aq harus meluangkan waktuku diantara waktuq ato menggunakan waktu kosongq tuk jalan2. Who knows??

Last thing…back home. Tinggal 3 minggu lagi. Bener2 engga sabara aq tuk pulang. Sayangnya aq belum bikin plan kegiatan2q disana…so better make one soon, or I’ll risk wasting my time there doing too much trivial things. Waktu 2,5 bulan juju raja bakal terasa cepat…so, better don’t waste ur time from very day u get to Indonesia.

Bottom line is….masa2 pulang harus bisa membuatq kembali segara dan besemangat lagi menjalani semester berikutnya di Perth. Dan juga membuatq membenahi dan mengidentifikasi kesalahan2 yg terjadi di perth dalam masa 1 tahun terakhir.

Overall…the things I’m doing now,bukanlah sebuah akhir…tapi awal dari suatu hal yang kelak akan bertemu dan terjalin di masa depan.

Aq kangeeeeennnnnnnn…..

Aku kangen kluargaku

Aku kangen rumahq

Aku kangen ketemu teman2ku

Aku kangen pinjem komik di jalan semeru!!!

Aku kangen main Winning Eleven di Bang Yus!!!!

Aku kangen hunting sepur ke pelosok….!!!

Aku kangen jalan2 ke daerah di Indo….

Aku kangen hawa lembab indo

Aku kangen murahnya harga2 barang di Indo….

Aku kangen crew kertosari 12….

Aku kangen cangkruk’an ama teman2 di warkop pinggir jalan

Aku kangen makan pizza di Malibu…

Aku kangen memborong buku2 murah di togamas….

Aku kangen cangkruk’an di payung (Batu)….

Aku kangen ke pasar tugu di rampal….

Aku kangen nyanggoni rumah teman2ku….:D

Aku kangen liat TV kabel….(sekalipun Astro dah koit di indo:P)

Aku kangen danau selorejo…

Aku kangen cui mie di jalan rajakwesi…..

Aku kangen…..EVERYTHING!!!!

Six very loooooonnnggggg Weeks…..

Huuuuhh…finally back…Its been quite some times since the last “normal” post. What do ya mean by “normal”.Ah yeah…:P….it was just those bunch of lousy postings recently. Not much of an attention accept it just reflects my messiness in life and work. Despite the time that has pasted, I still feel lost in my maze of…..everything….

The last 2 months starting from October certainly has been hectic and busy. The thought of taking a brief relax after ramadhan really didn’t come in reality. Assignments, work and other sort of stuffs quickly got me heavily occupied. Leaving me really overwhealmed when I didn’t prepare myself.

One major thing that I had to do aside my obvious pile of assignments and work was to find a new room for the next year here. It was quite the trouble, having to go here and there for almost 3 weeks just to find the suitable place in terms of neighborhood,facility and of course….price! To get the best of three worlds isn’t an easy task. You’ve definitely got to compromise on or two of our ideal requirement in order to get one quickly. Finally with all the trouble…I finally managed to get one.

I don’t know how it is since I’ve yet to move there on the middle of November. But I do hope it would be much better than my current place. Eventhough its far from campus, at least I’ve got sharemates to say “hello” everyday, just to keep my sanity and sense of collectiveness. The loneliness in my room has been slowly killing me since my first day here. Eventhough I’ve got the luxuries of everything (well…almost:P), its just not enough since I’m…alone..:(. Might sound easy, but in the long run, its bound to cause some mental solitudeness in ourselves.

On the main things, assignments still come and go. The last bunch of assignments for this semester is even getting more horrible for me. Especially when almost all of my classes have finished, which effectively makes us have to study by ourself. With work, everything is back to my normal (and hectic) schedule. But with these heaps of assignments, I’m bound to ask for some time off from work. I hate to do it, but then, study comes first. So, I shouldn’t hesitate to ask for some time, as long as my boss allows me to.

And when I’ve started to immerse myself in an ocean of assignments and work, I remembered….It’s just 6 weeks left till my holiday to Indonesia!!!Aaaahhhhh….just thinking bout that time really hypes me up. But on the other side, it also makes me swayed away by the imaginations on what I would be doing there….Not a good thing really, but I couldn’t help it since the reality of facing assignments and work everday makes me wanna find a place to run from reality (eventhough just in my dreams:P).

Luckily, it’s really not 6 week left. Its practically 2, 5 weeks left. That’s if u only include the assignments. But yeah…these 2 and a half weeks are the most dreaded and horrid since I’ve gotta finish of my assignments in this time limit. After that…I can say I’m prett much free….well…not really…there’s still my work that I’ve gotta do till my departure date.

To be honest, even I wanted to go back home straight after exam finishes. But then, if I do that, I wouldn’t have any pocket money for my stay at home. Therefore, the final 3 weeks here would be the last self tormentation I have to endure…just for the sake of some pocket money. Ask my parents for some??Good idea n a simple thing, but it wouldn’t be if you know that your parents are in a financial hardship. So…I really couldn’t dare to ask for rhem to pay my whole living expenses at home.

My hope is simple, survive the next 2,5 weeks, just for the sake of my assignments. Not just merely surviving it, but also doing my best to finish them off completely. Its really gonna be hard work from here on, so….All I can say to myself is….GOOD LUCK…..GANBATTE….SEMANGAAAATTTT!!!!

Flows of Time

Apa itu waktu…??

Apakah itu masa yang lewat….

Apakah itu detakan jarum jam yang berbunyi…

Apakah itu saat yang selalu kita lewati….

Apakah itu ingatan kita yang terekam….

Apakah itu latar belakang kita yang maju….

However…

Time is more of a weapon…

Time is more of a consciousness….

Time is more of a reminder….

Time is more of a string of lines that connects people….

Time is something that we all treasure….

Time is the spotlight of our life….

That will always show us our current position in the earths and heaven…to show us all our doings from past to future…therefore…do we still have the guts to play and loose our time??

Time cannot be regained….as for it flows like a river….

Even though we consider ourselves to have a second chance….its not like rewriting time…but rather as a new experience for ourself that reminisces the past things that have happened.

Dakara…..never let go of ur flow….

What does it mean to be human…???

What does it mean to be human…???

Yang Kutahu…

Keluhan….Tangis….Amarah….Kesal….Nafsu….Iri….Harga Diri….Lapar….Haus…..

Namun demikian….Aku mendapati bahwa…..to be a human….we also can have….

Intelligence….Honesty….Benevolence….Empathy….Sympathy….and…..LOVE

If so….Then I surely have to Praise ALLAH SWT for ALLAH has given me all these to make me a human….;)

ASS-I-MENT TO BE…..

Kertas kertas berserakan…..

Jurnal jurnal terbuka semua…..

Buku buku menengadahkan masing-masing keatas….

Jari jari memasukkan kata demi kata yang entah ada artinya….

Mata mata terbuka awas menatap kedepan….

Tanggal tanggal semakin dekat ke sebuah lingkaran merah besar….

And so……BENTAR LAGI ASSIGNMENT GW DUE!!!!!

And up till now I’m still stuck in this condition without a clue on what to write……!!!!!!!

PACARAN…..SO WHAT GITU LOHHHH!!!!!!

Mama bertanya….”tok…dah dapet pacar belom….?”
Teman bertanya…”tok…wis duwe ojob (bahasa malangnya pacar) durung…?”
Bos-ku bertanya ….”kamu sudah beristri kah tok?”
Temen2 ku orang Malaysia bertanya…”anto….sudah punya istri ato girlfriend belom?”

Singkat kata….kok dah pada rebut sih aku punya pacar ato woteper namanya????Apa mama gw dah sgitu kebeletnya pengen punya cucu??Apa temen2 ku sudah sedemikian sedihkah aku tak ada yang menemani hidupku???Apa Bosku sudah ingin liat anak buahnya ini segera merasakan bahagianya berkeluarga….???WHO KNOWS….

Well…I do have my reasons on why I haven’t had or tried to have a girlfriend….wanna know???

1. Punya pacar…aq emoh komitmen yg g jelas, pengennya yg jelas2 aja
2. Engga kuat modal tuk modalin kencan dll
3. aq masih ingin menikmati kebebasanq sebagai seorang jomblo sejati B-)
4. Klo masalah cri jodoh…gw mending yang serius sklian…g pake cara mbulet macam pacaran….
5. Biar bsa mundur teratur klo emang engga minat….:P
6. One more thing…..pacaran banyak mudhratnya rekk:D

Makanya….gw sd skrng masih setia ama status jomblo gw. Apalagi gw emang lom kerja…jadi mending mikir2 yg deket ajalah. Klo target nikah emang dah ada….tapi that’s still a loooooonnnngggg waaaayyyyyyy toooooo goooooo……
Ah udah gitu aja…males gw ngomongin ini….ribet….habis….semua orang pada nanyain itu….kesannya aku ini macam cowok engga laku:P

Subete wa boku no tameni…(Sebuah renungan akhir Ramadhan)

Akhir ramadhan telah tiba…and for me, this month has surely left me with some impressions, some of them are first timers, the others while not, still are worth while to remember and learn the lessons from.

It’s first time for me since I’m now living in Perth, making me experiencing fasting as an adult far from my family and relatives. It might sound lonely, but luckily, I can still feel the the nuance here as the muslim community in my campus is quite big. Hence, daily ramadhan activities can still be done like ifthar and tarawih.
Speaking bout the activities together, it did bring me some impressions. The fact that we muslims can unite together regardless of race, ethnicity and nationality means that we do posses a great potential as Allah SWT best people….if it were to be harnessed in the proper manner.That’s what I did think. Eventhough this kind of thought would still be long to realize, I do believe the seeds of this has been planted. Insya Allah the time will come soon for muslims to unite under one banner….

Through out the activities, I also was able to meet new friends and further strengthen my ties with those I already knew of. It sure is amazing how Ramadhan can bring us together..that’s why…I do hope that the ties of silaturahim would not wane of with the passing of Ramadhan this year. For keeping our ties with others sure brings life merrier and colorful. Not to mention since muslim’s are of one body, that also makes things more beautiful….

As for myself, I did achieve some targets. Finishing the Qur’an and also doing the tarawih each day. Even though I could have done more, I still its quite acceptable, especially if I take in the fact that there were many hurdles and disturbances that I faced during my fasting. Heaps of assignments, extra work hours and an unfir body at the beginning of the ramadhan were the major ones. As for assignments, it really didn’t matter as long I could manage my time properly, which I did do Alhamdulillah. More working hours…well…I kind of find this one as a mistake since I was supposedly gonna ask for this after Ramadhan. However, it accidently had a slip of tongue and ended up asking for more work hours during ramadhan and later.

The result was…sure I got extra money. But then, I ended up exhausting my body way beyond what expected to be able to handle. My body has lost a couple of weight without any comprehensive reason. End thing is…I’m now not feeling quite well as I’m feeling symptoms of flu (again). Well….i did start this ramadhan with an un fit condition. But I certainly do hope not to end it even worst…I guess the only thing I can do is to do more eating and rest as much as possible while trying to do some basic workout…just to keep my body from being stiff due to lack of exercise.

Ah yeah…remember the five blogs I wrote…Well yeah that was one things that I managed to overcome this ramadhan. Even though the conclusion for is still vague, at least I do know where to start to overcome those problems. Yang aq sndri paling suka adalah aq bsa kembali menemukan irama belajar setelah agak terganggu sjak pulkam yg terakhir. Dengan banyaknya tgs (and with a certain someone missing), it certainly able to force me concentrate more on my assignments and finishing it of in the best result that I can try.

As for passion, I believe I’ve gone back to Earth after experiencing some fly high’s this couple of months. It’s a nice thing to find something new, but if you feel that you’ve dreamt to much, that means you’ve gotta go back and taste Earth or else you’ll plunge dying…:P. Eniwei, I surely was able to defragment my mind that was a bit jumbled on which or which wasn’t reality these couple of month and therefore refinding my passion :D.

Secara singkat, Ramadhan ini telah membuat ku tersadar kembali akan realita hidup yang harus kujalani. Walo masih banyak hal yang tentunya harus kuperbaiki, aq sungguh berharap dan berniat, apa-apa yang telah kupelajari dan kujalani selama Ramadhan ini tidak hilang begitu saja dan terus dapat kulaksanakan secara istiqamah. It surely would be a hard thing to do since life is full of hurdles to begin with. But with consistency and prayers, Insya Allah I will find my way. Just remember to start things at a walking pace and speed things up steadily as u advance in life. I’m sure this way, I can better enjoy the fruits of my efforts rather than doing things all in once. Besides…its all for the sake of myself (subete wa boku no tameni…)

Maha Suci Allah SWT yang merubah rubah hati manusia….

Suatu saat…
Engkau mencintai seseorang….tapi esoknya engkau membencinya…
Engkau menyukai sesuatu….tapi sedetik kemudian engkau menganggapnya najis
Suatu hal mempesona hatimu….tapi sejurus kemudian mengotori hatimu

Sering kali…
Seorang hamba merasa pintar…untuk kemudian merasa bodoh luar biasa
Seorang insan menemui suatu inspirasi…untuk kemudian mendapati itu sebagai sebuah kebohongan belaka
Seorang manusia mendapatkan kehormatan diri….untuk mendapati dirinya terjerembab dalam kenistaan hidup yang amat sangat

Detik demi detik….
Manusia telah berharap….untuk kemudian merubah niatannya
Manusia ingin melakukan…untuk kemudian membatalkannya
Manusia telah berbuat….untuk kemudian menyangkalnya

Sungguh….
Manusia rapuh hatinya….dakara (that’s why)….Mahasuci Allah yang Merubah rubah hati manusia……

Determination

How serious could you be…?

Last part of the series. And to be honest, I guess this is the crucious part of my 5 problems.

Mungkin kalo bahasa kerennya…gimana sih caranya istiqomah???Ah…maybe kaya gtu bahasanya, esensinya gtu deh. Gimana caranya biar dapat langgeng dalam bersikap dan berpola piker terhadap suatu hal. Engga gampang apalagi klo dah berurusan ama pilihan dan prinsip hidup.

Mungkin aja kali….diperlukan suatu target hidup yang bersifat komprehensif, mulai dari yang jangka pendek, menengah dan kemudian panjang….maybe lho….why I say maybe?well…its just that im pretty much clueless….

I’ve thought on that before…but it just seems to be done half assed…I go astray in the middle of the road.So I guess….there must be that very something that we need to keep ourselves determined to the very end…whatever that might be.

Or is determination not a something that is isolated but an amalgamation of reasons,passion,pace, and motivation?If so…I should have found my determination by now…but yet…still I haven’t had the slightest clue or signs of it….

Overall….I guess I’m on the never ending quest to find my determination. And if I find it…its gonna be a battle of strengthening and maintaining it to the very end of my life, whatever the cost is….

Pace

How fast would you go…?

Next stuff…pacing things. How would you pace yourself in life, and in times of need?
For everything we do, there’s a certain speed on our activities. How slow or quick we do it often determines the excitement and enjoyment we do it. This degree would certainly vary across people. But pace definitely is required to spice our lives up.
I’ve been thinking lately…how is my pace of life?Enough, inadequate or even need to slow things down?For some things, I believe I still lack the pace like in studying. But even I feel that I have to much pace (for that certain something that your in a hiatus now:P). The balancing of pace for each of our activities sure does need carefull thinking and decision.

Ever since my last vacation, I’ve always felt, not only I lack the previous three points, but also this one. Eventhough I have made truce with myself on the first three, finding back my pace isn’t an easy task. Like a car after it’s been shut down, it needs some heating to make it run faster.However in my condition….I wonder if heating up would do the job.

With heaps of study and work here and there, I wonder how I can get into things with minimal time to heat myself up. Time is precious and therefore I’ve gotta find a way to be in the mood to do things I have to. Or else….I’m gonna be running out of time….
My thoughts….Well…I’m thinking of exhausting every resource I have to get myself paced up. Therefore, it would save time so that I don’t have to do something completely new to gear up myself. It might sound boring, but honestly…there’s not much feasible choices out there . So…just gotta endure the pain till the very end I guess.

Well…a few bits of surprises won’t do any harm I guess. But having to many surprises would surely ruin the pace that I need right now to finish my needs. So then again, Its all back to balancing everything so that my pace doesn’t get ruined by unnecessary stuffs….

Passion

How would you keep youself alight…?

This is still a continuation of the last two blogs, and it will go on…until I’ve found answers…

Ever thought what makes you alight and eager to face the world and reality?There can be many kinds of things, may it be reasons, hobbies, and all sorts of things. It’s always something that is special to each person. Something unique that a person has for themselves.

With this, a person would face reality and the world in eager and passionate about it. Any hardships or troubles would not be a problem if someone is always passionate about their self and the doings. Those two things would only fire up ones passion to even put themselves on a more higher groubd then ever before.
But then…what if you’ve lost that passion…?It would not be a mere problem of lost motivation, but its as if you have lost the eagerness and self fire to keep things going. Even if there is motivation, but without passion, its would be just like doing things but wiyhout any will.

Therefore…I’ve been wondering…what is my passion?Reminiscing back through my years, I’ve always yearned to find my passion. Be it on my own religion, anime, manga, computers, stamps and anything. But then…Until now, they all seem fruitless to keep me passionate on life.

Recent contemplations has forced me to again seek my passion on life. As time goes by, I’ve decided to stop my flow of time for the moment and try to look back on what has kept me to this point. It has worked and resulted in a temporarily condition….go all of those things …one by one…and try to get the feel of all of what you have experienced up to this point. Seeking a new passion would be good. But then…If you have lost your older ones that have accompanied you through the ups and downs…whats the meaning…Its like discarding something old but with memories for something that is new but unable to give you a clear picture on what you will be facing.

One thing is…its not a problem to stop and look back. Try to savor the moments that have kept you passionate and at the same moment, always try to seek that something to complete yourself….

Motivation

What drives you until now…?

Another question that still lingers round my head. Similar to my previous blog, only this time, its all bout my driving force that have led me until this very second.
Regardless of my reason to be here in Perth, I’ve always strived the very best to keep myself motivated. The first semester succeded somehow. Maybe it was due to the strong sense of survival that engulfed me back then. But the time here has made me kinda soft. The sense of survival has long been lost and here I am lost finding something that can motivate myself.

Back then in Indonesia, the thought of getting lost coz of the lack of motivation was almost nonsense. With the abundant form of motivation, I was always in the mood of inspiration there. But here…things have gotten way tough. Its not like you cannot motivate urself here, its just that you’ve gotta struggle to do that.

With the limited resources here, keeping urself motivated here is like keeping a fire on but with just few fire wood. I’ve collected some potential things that could keep me motivated, but it seems that all those things just cannot fulfil my hunger for inspiration to keep me motivated.

Without the fire to keep myself motivated here, it seems everything goes on without emotion. As if I’m just a robot doing as it is told. As if I’m just something that is void of emotions. Asif there is no spirit to keep me go in life….

Its not like I’ve done nothing to solve this. Its just that keeping the spirit to keep urself motivated is a winding road itself, full of ups and downs. And with all the limitations u’ve got here, I guess the only way out is to feel gratefull to urself. Gratefull to the fact that U’ve made it this far, gratefull to the fact that u still have stuffs to fill ur life, regardless I like it or not. But then again, even though I can act this way, I wonder how long I can stay in that moment….?

Reasons

Why am I here…?

Pertanyaan ini belakangan mengemuka di benakku. Entah kenapa begitu, tapi hal ini telah mendobrak kenyamanan yang mulai kurasakan sejak menetap di Perth. Bahwa aq ada disini untuk melanjutkan kuliah S2 ku merupakan suatu hal yang jelas. Namun pertanyaan diatas membuatku harus kembali merenungkan kembali mengapa aq sampai harus menempuh kuliah S2 segala…

Diminta orang tua?Well…that’s what I first thought years ago when I was finishing my bachelors. Ketika itu, aq hanya perlu melakukan ini untuk memuaskan keinginan ortu. Juga keinginan mereka untuk mampu membanggakan seseuatu dihadapan koleganya. Pretty messed up but that’s what I really thought back then.

Times passed and I finished my bachelors. It was here on that I finally thought…”Hey…kul S2 lagi g jelek juga..”. Pikiranku ktika itu juga diliputi oleh suatu perasaan menyesal yang amat. Penyesalam yang terjadi karena tidak mampu memanfaatkan masa 4,5 tahun kuliahku dengan sungguh2. Jadilah aku berpikir untuk memanfaatkan masa kuliah S2 ku untuk menebus waktuku yang hilang. Juga untuk memantapkan kembali segala sesuatu yang telah kudapatkan sejauh itu.

Sampai semester pertamaku dsini, that reason remained. But just recently I’ve felt really inconvenient about that fact. Aku kembali berpikir…cukupkah alasan itu demi keberadaanku dsini?Seberapa lamakah alasan itu akan bertahan didalam diriku?Tidak adakah suatu alasan yang lebih mulia demi keberadaanku disini….:-?

Dibutuhkannya suatu alasan adalah demi landasan atas segala sesuatu yang akan dilakukan sekarang dan untuk masa depan. With the fact that I’m doubting again those reasons, I again feel insecure about what kind of future I’m pursuing….

Then again…was it just for fame, regrets, passion, lust, greed, pride or some other miscellaneous reasons. Wallahu alam. But if I don’t rediscover it, who knows what future would await me…..

666

Nope…u don’t interpret that with anything that has to do with Satanism…nor with anything with sex (since Japanese people might read it sekusu…sekusu…sekusu). It’s just that I was ill….:P

Out of the blue…I was struck with this illness. The signs of it had emerged some weeks before it became serious, and I was ignorant on those signs. In the end, the heavy coughs and nosebleeds sure hit me hard. Disabling me from attending most of my lectures here. There goes my first 2 absents from class 

Now…hmm…it hasn’t really gone yet, I mean the illness. Still suffering from some light coughs here and there. But at least I’m now able to resume my daily activities as usual. Not being able to do anything while sick sure has made my mind and body numb. Therefore, I’ve been struggling hard to regain my mental and physical conditions through hard study and simple workouts

And to think that this illness came right after my 24th birthday…it really made me able to contemplate on some matters…especially health. Up till now, I’ve been working hard to not fall sick again. So far it has somewhat succeeded. Only some minor flu’s have occurred. But this illness was one of the serious ones that forced me to go see a doctor. End result….yeah…I was sloppy on my health should have paid more attention to it.

Ramadhan is coming in a week and there goes another good reason why I need to get back in shape soon. I don’t wanna end up like last year, when I was struck with a flu prior and after ramadhan. Especially here, being sick really isn’t a feasible condition on you when medicine prices are damn high .
But before ramadhan, I’ve still got one week of tuition free week upcoming. I’m gonna tidy up all the mess that was caused due to my sickness. I wanna start ramadhan in a good and tidy manner so that I can enjoy that holy month in serenity and purity .

Restart

Another semester….another start….a new beginning….

That’s what I’m currently feeling. Everything seems like rewinded to the beginning of last semester…time where I had no idea on where to start my studies with…

However…things aren’t totally that way…its just the feeling that’s kinda déjà vu. The feeling that u’ve gotta find again ur lost study feeling that’s been drowned over the last month due to vacations. Its gonna take some time to recover that feeling…and I’m gonna have to do it quick since things are starting to get harder as the day comes by.

2 units that I really need to take care of are statement analysis and governance & ethics. Why?....coz I have no clue on how the lecturers are and the units seem quite hard….so better stay aware on whats happening….better satay alert by studying enough so that u don’t get lost in the middle of semester.

Add those with my increased work hours and it does look tiring. With a total of 11 hours a day….I better watch my health and body. Gotta make sure that nothing goes wrong over the semester. Again..I can’t afford 2 be sick due to the expensive cost of medications….bottom line is to don’t get carried away by the money u can get….mainobjective is to…STUDY!!

End note…I’ve made a self review on myself. It certainly looks like I’ve gotta revises some things to improve myself. Especially when I’ve already targeted 3 High Distinction marks at the end of this semester…that means a lot of hard work. As they say…its harder to maintain a success rather than achieving it…yup…that’s what I’m experiencing right now….Just watch your back….stay alert…don’t get swayed away by any temptations that might make me astray….

Amiieennn…..:)

Reset

Hwaaaaaaa…..Legaaaaaa…….

I guess that’s what I can say after my 12 days trip back to Malang he..he..he..:). It wasn’t long but I certainly can say that really helped me ease the stress and tiredness that has been piling up for the last 5 months here in Perth. What made really lucky was that I was able to organize my activities there. This was in order to make the most of my time there. With only 12 days, I had to do the things most important. No time to waste ;)

Well…I landed in Jakarta the next day on midnight. Nothing much to do I Jakarta besides buying myself a new mobile B-). I really needed a new one since my old one got broken. But I ended up buying something more expensive than what I expected. Even though it was worth it in the end, I’m wondering up till now….why didn’t I bring more money …..:(

The next day I was already in Malang. I directly headed to my local bookstore to get myself and syah’s book. It took me around three days later to fully finish my book hunting. I indulged myself there. Besides, Its only in Indonesia where u can get cheap books there;). Other things that I took care was my download list through the bittorrent. I found a couple to have been finished, but still a dozens waiting to be finished. Coz of this I thought of turning on the bittorent each night while im here in order to get some downloads finished. It did work in the end, one was something I was eagerly waiting which was The Carnival of True concert by laruku. Why I was eagerly waiting coz this concert hasn’t been released until now. So its kinda a rare item he..he..he..:D

The night I spent there were often with my friends. The second night was hanging in a coffee stall wth andi, arif and pulungan. It sure was fun and nostalgic. After a while im able to meet them again in good condition J. Too bad arif was on his way to his work training so that made me the last time I could meet him in a while L. The other chances were having a match at bang yus with nandar and wiwid. It seems I haven’t lost my touch after 5 months not touching the PS2 controller. Managed to score some wins :D

Fajar was also in my “have to meet” list. The purpose was none other than delivering him some new stuffs on laruku which I had already promised. However…it seemed I was back home a bit too early coz while I was gonna go back to perth, he suddenly texted me and said he already laid his hand on the Five Live Archives DVD Set 0_0…..Aaaarrrrrggghhhhh…..damit. To think he got it first….to think he got it while I was on my way back to Perth…..Well the…better wait for my next vacation home…..

Ah yes….not to forget…..comics!!!This one I certainly would not miss. I did miss those comics so I borrowed quite a pile of them. It wasn’t all of my wanted list but it definitely did. Gonna have to wait for my next trip to finish of the next list of comics thereL…..The rest of my time there was done with buying some things that I had to buy. However….some of them were really unexpected things like my spectacles and a new printer. Clothes were also in my list coz it seemed that drop a couple of size numbers down….hmm….seems that my workout did work in aozzy :D

Well then…I can finally say that despite the short time there, I really did have the most of my time there. Its all bout the quality….noy quantity I guess ;)

Numb3rs...

5.....Months in Perth

1st...Son I am

17...Countries I've visited

2.....brothers I have

4.5 years...to finish my bachelors degree

24....I'm turning this year

4.....cities/town I've stayed and lived in

15....is the age that started everything for me

7....provincial capital cities I've visited in Indonesia

7....years is the gap between me and my youngest sibling

0....girlfriends I've had till now :P

2....jobs I've done till now

2....times I've felt snow

3....Languages I can speak

12...days I have for my first coming home since January

2....years for me to finish off my master's degree

2....cities I dearly wanna go to

7....years I've been dreaming on the past

8....years ago is the time I'd go back if there were time traveling

4....years later is the maximum time I hope to be married :P

Countdown

Di tengah liburan yang sepi ini, kuterpekur memikirkan apa yang sebaiknya kulakukan…..Eniwei, ungkapan tadi memang cocok tuk menggambarkan betapa sepinya suasanan disini. Sehari-hari kerjaan cuma liat film, baca komik/e-book, ngenet ato kerja d butcher. Monoton bgt. Namun demikian, ini sedang dlm proses utk menikmati itu semua. Toh beberapa bulan lalu emang dh mendambakan liburan datang. So, I think lets just enjoy all this calmness.

2 minggu terakhir…gimana ya ngomongnya…I’ll start of with my ticket. Emang sih jadi nuruti ortu, tapi dengan harga yg lumayan mahal…..jujur aja aq sendiri mo kecewa ama sapa juga g jelas. Aq hanya berpikir, klo mreka ngomongnya jauh2 hari aja, aq g bakalan dapat tiket dengan harga yang kelewat mahal. Mana waktuq juga nanggung bgt lgi, g ada 2 minggu. Jujur aja sih, aq emang lebih beratin kerja. Tapi at least that’s better than wasting money on a really short noticed vacation. Gara2 kejadian itu, aq bener bertekad untuk tidak mengulangi lagi hal ini. Kesempatan brikutnya harus ku-plan lebih baik vacation sehingga bsa dapat tiket yg murah.

At work…well segalanya berjalan cukup sepi. Apa mungkin gara2 dah musim liburan sehingga pembeli juga turut berkurang ya? Maybe aja sih klo gtu. Satu2nya perubahan yg terjadi cuma fakta bahwa aq sekarang lebih sering masuk jam 10 pgi daripada 8.30 yang biasa kulakukan. Nikmati aja lah. Paling g bsa nyante dulu sebelum berangkat. Soalnya biasanya pontang panting paginya klo harus berangkat masuk 8.30. Speaking of work, belakangan isinya makan mlulu dsana. Kerja minggu ini aja dh dapet jatah kue dan makanan yg lumayan. Sd2 lunch box-q g habis. Lumayaaannnn….rejeki nihJ

Ada senang da ada pula yang bikin sedih. Itulah yg juga terjadi padaku. Bukan sedih sih….lebih tepatnya jengkel!!!Apa itu….its all bout the fact that I cannot download to my hearts content at campus. Ini gara2 kmps skrng memberlakukan pembatasan bandwith bagi mahasiswanya. Bayangin, masa 1 GB/bln tuk 1 orang L, kurang banget laahhhhh…….Pastinya, gara2 ini, aq dh g bsa lagi nongkrongin labkom kampus tuk donlot2 sepuasnya. Masih bsa tpi harus dalam batasan 1 GB/bln itu. Sehingga, harus bener2 dijaga nih. Kedepannya, aq mungkin berpikiran tuk nambah bandwith internet rumahq aja. Mo gimana lgi. Soalnya aq emang tipikal donloder sih…L. Selain itu, donlot2 kedepan juga harus lebih dibatasi dan dipilih nih.

Eniwei, sisa waktuq nunggu masa refreshing tgl menunggu waktu aja. Aq bahkan dah membuat list apa2 yg harus kulakukan dsana. Aq pikir perlu lah coz waktuq disana yg g ada 2 minggu harus bener2 dipake tuk hal2 yg esensial dan berguna agar pas balik ke perth, otak dan hati udah bener2 di re-charge utk semester berikutnya yg pastinya bakal lebih berat. Utk liburanq disni, aq juga memutuskan tk membuat list possible activities yg bsa kulakoni. Kalo g gtu, aq hanya akan mengulang masa2 membosankan 2 pekan awalku d perth dulu. Ngga mau kan…?

The next part maybe would be when I’m on leave. Sementara detik jarum jam menuju saat itu, lets just fill in time usefully and wisely. Its not everytime u get moments like this….so C U J

Mahasiswa…Time 2 Ime-chen…;)

Mahasiswa, apa sih arti dari kata ini?Apa yang diharapkan dari kata ini?Apa yang diharuskan oleh obyek yang menanggung title ini?

Rata2 semua akan menjawab, mahasiswa adalah agen perubahan. Aq sedikit banyak setuju ama pendapat ini. Why?Coz mahasiswa merupakan salah satu masa paling berharga dalam hidup ketika seseorang dapat menunjukkan idealisme mreka, cita2 mreka dan dan asa mreka secara jernih. Sejarah membuktikan bagaiman para pelaku perubahan rata2 adalah mreka yg bergolongan muda. Yang tua?Ada beberapa tpi pada masa2 ini seorang manusia akan cenderung memikirkan masalah2 lain seperti keluarga dan kerjaan. So…their idealism might be compromised because of this.

Eniwei, menarik utk dilihat bagaimana mahasiswa tlh berperan dlm konteks mreka sebagai agen perubahan. Sejak reformasi 10 tahun silam, mahasiswa seakan menemukan momentum mreka kembali utk dapat bertindak sebagai agen perubahan seiring keadaan yang memaksa mreka. Sd skrng pun, mahasiswa masih senantiasa menyuarakan berbagai aspirasi mreka akan tatanan hidup yang ideal dan lebih baik. Tentu menurut versi mreka masing2. Saya tidak akan membiacarakan apa yang mreka aspirasikan. Terlalu panjang tuk dibahas. Saya lebih tertarik terhadap apa yang mreka lakukan untuk menyuarakan aspirasi itu.

Seakan sudah menjadi pakem dan tradisi bahwa penyampaian aspirasi harus dilakukan dengan turun ke jalan dan melakukan unjuk rasa. Ngga masalah bagiku. Namun yg jadi masalah adalah apa2 yg terjadi setelah itu. Sebagai suatu tindak unjuk rasa, penyampaian pendapat mreka di muka umum sudah merupakan suatu aspirasi. Namun mahasiswa skrng seakan merasa bahwa hal ini aja g kan cukup tuk menyampaikan aspirasi mreka. Sehingga….terkadang hal2 aneh dan ajaib pun sering mreka lakukan sebagai bumbu unjuk rasa mreka.

Mogok makan, penyanderaan kendaraan, pemblokiran jalan, dan hal2 aneh lainnya bisa menjadi salah satu cara agar dapat menarik perhatian masyarakat luas. Namun demikian, apa bener aspirasi mreka tersampaikan?Apa bukannya masyarakat yang menyaksikan mreka bukannya tambah antipati dan benci dengan cara2 mreka yang terkesan tidak cerdas, mengganggu dan merusak itu?Padahal sebagai mahasiswa, sudah seharusnya mreka memperlihatkan suatu kematangan berpikir dalam pikiran dan tindakan mreka. Bukannya malah memperlihatkan suatu tindak kebodohan dan anarkisme.

Saya yakin, masyarakat tetap mendambakan adanya suatu unjuk rasa once in a while. Hanya saja, saya yakin mreka takkan senang pula kalo cara unjuk rasa itu dilakukan dengan cara2 yg justru kontraproduktif dan berlawanan dengan nilai intelektualitas mreka sebagai mahasiswa. Sebagai mahasiswa, saya rasa mreka perlu menyampaikan aspirasi mreka dengan cara dengan kekuatan logika, bukannya logika kekuatan. Kalo demikian caranya, bukan tidak mungkin mahasiswa akan kehilangan simpati mreka dri masyarakat akibat perilaku mreka sendiri.

Bicara masalah perilaku, hal ini juga terkadang menjadi suatu ironi. Masih banyak dijumpai aktivis mahasiswa yang antara tindakan dan apa yang mreka sampaikan bertolak belakang 180 derajat. Seakan dunia kampus dan luar adalah 2 dunia yg berbeda sama sekali. Juga fakta bahwa aktivitas mreka sebagai aktivis juga harus mengorbankan kuliah mreka. Ironi memang. Dalam berkehidupan d kampus, tentu ada trade-off 2 tertentu yg harus dilakukan. Namun dari pengalaman dan pengamatan saya sendiri, sudah jadi rahasia umum bahwa kul cenderung ditinggalkan.

Hal2 diatas merupakan suatu sentilan belaka terhadap bagaimana seharusnya mahasiswa berlaku dalam menyampaikan aspirasi mereka. Juga agar mahasiswa tidak lupa terhadap kewajiban utama mreka untuk belajar. Tentu masyarakat akan lebih respek klo yg demo2 itu adalah mahasiswa dgn IPK2 tinggi. Dengan demikian, akan terlihat kecerdasan dan intelektualitas dia di mata masyarakat. Nothing is perfect really. But at least we can try even the equilibrium between study and our role as an agent of change. Its not hard, but it just needs commitment, hard work and a couple of sacrifices.