Early Last Year ~ Like Father . . . Like Son

Okok . . . you all might be wondering, why would I again, bring this period up. I do personally understand and remember that this time of my life was pretty much devastating. Not only on a personal level but also caused some fundamental changes to my way of thinking. But that is why then again I would like to bring it up again as there were many things unexplored in terms of what changed.

On a trivial and observable level, the changes that happened included my sudden change on not reading manga’s on a routine scale and getting a girlfriend. But some subtle changes did in fact happen to me. Changes that involved how I saw myself and in relation to my closest people around me.
The realization mostly happened due to my increasing interaction with my parents these past couple of months since that time. It couldn’t be helped, for I haven’t been living together properly as a family since the past couple of years since I was sent to Malang. During these times, I realized some things about how I am and been doing things.

Simple facts like my forgetfulness, inability to be intuitive and most of all, my ineptness in basic social communication were revealed. Ever since, I have been always trying my best to improve and excel in those areas where I lack. Still progressing slowly and the fruits of success are showing. However, the rest of the revelations are mostly related on a DNA level.

What I meant above is the fact that most of my traits are traits that I inherited from my father. Hahaha . . . honestly the last person I would be and now, I just realized that I indeed inherit most of my father’s traits, good and bad. Not in terms of traits, but currently, I’m also in the verge of also following the footsteps of my father’s career . . . a banker literally . . .

There’s a saying, the harder you dislike something, the harder it’ll hit back and return to you. Well, I guess that’s what happening to me rite now. Why I said he’s the last person I’d be cause I still can remember how my father’s trait has caused me mental hardships all these times. But then again, I also cannot deny that my recent success in study also happened due to the fact that I adopted most of my father’s tricks and traits in studying.

But then again, my girl once said to me, you’ve gotta let go of those hatred and disdain feelings, and embrace the fact of who you are. Only then that you will be able to excel far beyond your heritage. I guess that’s how I should put things rite now. Besides, I’m just feeling too old far a quarrel. I’ve been thinking, better to harness those given facts to the best of my advantage and make truce with past (which is with my dad).

Hence, here I am now, being the almost complete shadow of my dad. Nevertheless how facts may be, I still yearn to be someone different. Regardless so, seems I have to harness what’s already given in my DNA. I may have gained my masters, but in terms of life, I guess I have to admit that I need to learn a lot from my dad.