Master Grade Gundam Plastic Models I Really want to have....

1. MG Hi-Nu Gundam

Wonder why?well...pertama-tama...nih model kit bukan didasarkan atas anime melainkan novel. Selain itu...emang dasarnya modelnya dah mbois banget dan memperlihatkan bentuk sempurna dari MS Nu-Gundam. Dipadu dengan strip warna purple...what more can you get...especially with those fin funnels at disposal :D

2. MG Unicorn Gundam

Hmm....Yang bikin nih model kit unik adalah kemampuannya tuk berubah mode dari Unicorn mode yang sekilas menampakkan kit seperti MS biasa menjadi Destroy mode. Pada mode inilah wajahg gundam-nya keliatan beserta perubahan wujud tubuhnya dimana frame2-nya bergeser menampakkan warna2 merah dari dalam frame-nya.

3. MG Ext-S Gundam

Upgrade version of the sentinel Gundam...bigger..nastier...and obviously more stronger :D. Masih bisa trasformable tentunya. Desainnya juga sangat tekninal dan berbeda dari model2 MS lainnya.

4. MG Crossbone Gundam Full Cloth

Hooo....another version of the crossbone gundam...hanya saja kali ini dengan anti beam cloth yang membuatnya lebih sangar. Perlengkapan senjatanya juga lebih lengkap. The skull design on its head makes its design look badass and unorthodox compared to other MS from any other Gundam series.

5. MG 00 Raiser Gundam

Ok..ok...ok...i know this plamo hasn't made it to the production lines...but i cannot help not to put it in my list. Why? Coz i'm simple mesmerized by its design in the anime. I believe that the MG version would be one of the awesome gundam kits out there...especially if Bandai does indeed include the GN Sword III which wasn't included in most of the kits from other grades.

Returner...

Hmm…how long has it been… that time since I said I’ld stop writing for a while…yeah…2 months I guess…Well…I can say since those two months…many things have happened small and big. Lets try to write down what has happened lately .

Anyway…I was pretty much stressed out when I said I’ld stop writing for the moment . But then, things slowly eased away. But one thing didn’t go away which was those assignments. Even now, those assignments still bother with greater intensity given that there are only less than 1 months left to the end of semester. And thinking bout those assignments, I think that I won’t be able to get those 4 HD’s I planned for… it just feels damn hard this semester… guess I’m gonna give my all even though the chances of 4 HD’s have diminished….

Life…ah…full of ups and downs…when I remembered the fact that I came back down and wanted to forget that somebody… guess what…now I’ve got one to think and care for…whew…what a turn of fate…when I remembered that I wanted to concentrate on study and work…now…I have to care for this someone that I hope to be my future wife (Insya Allah)…

Well…you might be surprised I found this person in the 2 months I didn’t write anything…well.. it’s kinda long and short of a story. As I wanted to forget and move on…she came…as we interacted, I kinda comfortable. Time passed and I spent the nights not able to forget her..days went and I thought…”yeah…this feeling came again at such short intervals”. But hey…I’ve learnt my lessons and I fully know that I’m already attracted to her. I gave it a shot and…yeah…I’ve let go of my “jomblo” status after 25 years of my life .

Obviously our relationship would have ups and downs…especially we both started of in a LDR. But…what I believe is that it isn’t the time to play around in these kind of relationships. Even though I yet have to meet her…with the interactions we’ve had…I have faith in myself that this is my one. I just need to ascertain myself. Even though she doesn’t turn out to the best of my expectations…at the very least my basic requirements have been fulfilled and that has already got myself content. We’ll just have to polish and improve ourselves as the time goes on between us.

Aside of that and studies…life has been pretty much dull. To fill in time, I tried to re live my wanna be hobby of gundam plastic model building. Since there aren’t many choices in Perth, I had to buy some online at ebay. Though I still need to finish of 2 remaining models, the 2 others have certainly decorated my room in some way.

Wallet?Ah yeah….it’s the month of sheer bankruptcy I guess. The need to buy a brand new bike has caused one hole in my savings. Couldn’t help it though since I really need a new one that had no trouble to replace my dying old bike. And thank God…My new battle hopper really lives up to my expectations. Just need to be alert o bike thieves that linger around on campus….ready to break the chains on my bike.

The other wallet meteor was the fact that I had to register IELTS. For the sake of getting a PR status after graduation, I again have to go through the pain of such tests again after two years since the last one. Just hope my English hasn’t deteriorated...why I say this is coz that even though I live in Perth in which I’m supposed to speak English, I tend to speak more Indonesian and Malay coz of my friends…not good…

What else…aha..yep…forgot to tell that me and the kids from TPA went on a trip to AQWA. It was quite the memory since we had fun with the kids and all TPA staffs together. The place itself was kinda like a mini version of Seaworld in Ancol. Nevertheless…the place was quite enjoyable…besides…you don’t get much tourist attractions in Perth so better enjoy things as it is.

Ahh…I guess that’s all for now…hope from now on I can start writing in a normal interval like before. It really turns out that writing can soothe my thoughts that have been contaminated by mundane affairs. Eniwei…c u….

新月~ New Moon

Precious moments pass, I wonder upon the starry night now

Dark…yet…you start to appear…slowly glowing my soul

Fading away all those old shadows…you enlighten and bedazzle myself

You offer laughs…smiles…and happiness…in a humble way…that even pride cannot resist

Despite so…there are things left mysterious…tempting ones heart to explore and go on a never ending voyage through the skies

Through the sparkling stars above…your light is always the brightest

As if your rays send an enchantment of songs throughout the never ending nights…keeping it warm in the middle of the upcoming snows

Though you still have more to shine in the depths of my heart…I will still be here waiting for you…the time you will shine to your fullest…to a full moon

What if....

What if…I hadn’t known u back then…would my heart stay as cold as before?

What if…I wasn’t bedazzled by u back then…would my 1st still be in my mind forever?

What if...we hadn’t interacted too much…would we still have words to discuss now?

What if…you didn’t call me that night…would I wonder how nice to hear your sound?

What if…I didn’t go back too quick…would you still feel lonely by yourself that time?

What if…we didn’t have some force majeur…would we still think positively on each other?

What if…the sacred time didn’t come…we still maintain that ongoing pace that would look so quick?

What if…u didn’t send me that note…would I still be hoping for that promise that I thought was a joke?

What if…u weren’e intrenched by your duties…would u have time to just say hello to me?

What if…I wasn’t engulfed in solitudeness…would u still have a flowing conversation with me?

What if u didn’t tell me your past…would I then had the courage to say…”daisuki” ?

What if we didn’t get to see each other back then…would that mean there’s still a chance?or do I just have to consider myself foolish and unlucky again?

What if…we were to cross paths some day one day…would we be able to recognize each other?

What if…what if…what if…Wallahualam bis shawab….

Happily young or rot older ?

Haha…biar kutebak…pasti mikir arti judul tulisan ini apa hehehehe :p


Eniwei…segalanya bermulai pada sabtu pagi nan indah di butcher dimana aq bekerja. Semua berjalan dull seperti biasa…terutama karena belum padatnya kerja pagi itu….dan ketika kusedang menghayati memotong lapisan daging demi daging …eh…bos gw nnya…”tok…bagaimana pendapatmu tentang pasangan yang menikah muda…?setuju engga?”. Jujur aja…gw kaget pagi2 ditanyain pertanyaan berat macam itu. Bukannya gw sendiri engga pernah bicara masalah ini atau apa…Cuma gw emang secara pribadi sampe saat ini menghindari aja isu macem ini yg bagi gw agak2 “sensi”

Eniwei…mauku sih mengelak jawaban ini…but yeah…my bos insisted on me answering yes or no…Oh crap…now I’m in some sort of awkward position…Eniwei…I just answered..mostly no…hehe…now here where things get interested. She asked why I didn’t agree..?kujawab…karena kalo menikah muda..bagaimana anda akan menghidupi keluarga…bos gw jawab …”ya orang tua masing2 lah..”….gw pun reply…”okelah kalo begitu…masalahnya…sangat jarang ditemukan orang tua yang semacam itu”
Dan berikutnya kukekmukakan alasanku bahwa ketika 2 insan telah menikah…pada hakikatnya ortu sudah tidak bertanggung jawab atas mereka (terutama secara keuangan)…but then…my bos said…”lho…kenapa harus tidak lagi bertanggung jawab?”…now…this is where I suddenly felt checkmate :P…

Pembicaraan selanjutnya yakni bos-ku ngomong bahwa di dunia sekarang ini…dalah mengapa menikah muda bener2 dipermasalahkan padahal anak2 sekarang secara fisik tumbuh dewasa secara cepet…which also means that they are physically mature (especially in terms of sex). But then…just coz of not financially ready…then many people decide to not or at least postpone marriage. Until this…she did hae a point…

And then…bos ku bilang mengapa ada pandangan bahwa ketika anak sudah menikah dikatakan bahwa tanggung jawab ortu putus..itu lebih dikarenakan alasan budaya doang…dan ketika kuberpikir sampe point itu…gw juga inget…apa ada dalil ayat baik di al-qur’an atopun hadist-lah yang mengatakan bahwa ortu tidak lagi bertanggung jawab atas anak2nya (especially financially) ketika mereka2 sudah menikah?engga ada deh rasanya…:P

But I tried to refute by saying that once married, a man has the responsibility to feed the family or in other words…work. Till here…we both agreed. Tapi bosku menambahkan…betul emang demikian…tapi faktanya seringkali hal ini menyebabkan anak2 muda takut untuk menikah hanya karena alasan kerja…kerja…dan kerja. Kalopun sudah kerjapun…masih banyak dijumpai para bujang yang tidak mau menikah…alasannya….yg lom mapan lah yg itu lah dan 1001 alesan lainnya.

That was one fact that I couldn’t deny…even 4 myself. Another fact that my bos stated was about bagaimana para bujang harus seringkali menempuh pendidikan tinggi (sampe S2) dan pada saat yang bersamaan harus menekan gejolak naluri biologi terhadap lawan jenis di tengah gempuran keterbukaan aurat disana sini yang dah bener “syaithannirajimmmm” (istilah gw sendiri :D ). Dia menambahkan…apa para bujang2 perlu menunggu utk lulus utk kemudian kerja trus baru nikah?Can’t just both the parents help out at least with the funding of their education while still maintaining their marriage?Must it be education…or work that separates two loving people from being married to each other?

Up till this point…I couldn’t say more…What my boss said was in fact all the most true…Kenyataan (atau mungkin tatanan masyarakat) seringkali harus kejam terhadap para bujang2 (dan perawan2 maybe :D ). But my boss put more emphasis on parents nowadays…why do they have to require their kids to graduate and get a job (for boys) before getting married?Can’t they help and play their part in helping young married couple by soothing their financial distress (especially when they both have to undergo uni 1st).

Mendengar omongan itu…aq juga jadi berpikir…alangkah baiknya jika semua orang tua bisa seperti yang didambakan bos gw. Kadang gw juga mikir…anak2 jaman sekarang emang cepet banget dewasa secara fisik. Dan tentunya hal ini juga membawa konsekuensi hasrat penyaluran nafsu seksual juga pada puncak2nya. Namun ya itu dia…selalu harus tertekan karena menyelesaikan skul/kul :-S

Selama hidupku pun aq pernah mendapati teman2q nikah muda dan alhamdulillah ortu mereka masih mau at least membiayai dari segi uang kul…beberapa bahkan masih ngasih uang saku ;) (ooohh…how lucky they are…). But in regards to them being married…I do notice some differences after they got married…something which me and my boss agreed on…they in certain ways…become mentally more mature in doing and facing life. I don’t know why…but I guess it’s coz of their binding commitment of marriage that makes them (even unconsciously) to do so.

Oh well…walo kita berharap ortu2 sekalin mau melakukan hal seperti yang diangankan bos gw…that’s life…changing such kind of thought frame is gonna take time. But I also like to add something from my POV concerning this matter. Just to add up things of what I’ve written down here ;)

Sebanyak apapun kita berharap agar ortu2 mau seperti itu…nyatanya juga bahwa anak2 sekarang walo dewasa secara fisik..tapi hamper kebanyak masih belum dewasa secara pikiran…alias masih berpikir kekanak-kanakan. So…How can we demand for parents to fulfill such wish if we even cannot prove to them that we are also mature in terms of mental and mind?

But then…it’s not us who’s completely us at fault here for being not mature in terms of mind. Tetapi system pendidikan kita yang juga berperan kita dalam membentuk pribadi yang tidak akan pernah siap secara mental. Untuk dapet dikatakan siap…bagiku kita harus secara awal dihadapkan pada kenyataan hidup dalam pendidikan kita agar kita dapat segera terjun ke masyarakat dan berpartisipasi…tapi faktanya sekarang?Kita dikungkung oleh berbagai jenjang pendidikan yang kebanyakan mengajarkan teori belaka yang kemudian membuat kita akan kagok ½ hidup sewaktu2 kita engga lagi bersekolah…why? Coz they haven’t taught us anything on how to survive in such time and age. They just teach us on how to make ourselves dependant on out parents (financially especially).

Eniwei…akan sangat bahagia andaikata kita bisa mendapatkan nikmat macem yang telah dirasakan oleh teman2 yang beruntung diatas. Tetapi kita juga harus memainkan peran kita bahwa kita juga telah sanggup bersikap dan berpikir secara dewasa aja, jangan Cuma dewasa fisik doang :D. Oh yeah….the current social system juga harus berperan dalam membentuk insan2 yang lebih mampu survive dalam usia muda dan tidak hanya membuat kita bergantung ama ortu aja…so…3 pihak inilah yang harus berperan kedepannya ;)

PS : For those lucky friends of mine out there…may Allah SWT bless u for able to fulfill half of your diens at such a young age ;)…hontou ni…INVU

Soulless

Lost…soulless…even though skyscrapers plundge high to the heavens…

Filthy rich…still…a piece of light dims away

Laughs…hurrays...and cheers…nevertheless…they stay dull

Struggling to live…yet at the same time it’s just a mere event of drowning in the
depths of hell

Without the heavenly light…mundane would it be forever without any sacred benefits

And still…people flock year by years…searching for that better life…yet…is it worth it?

Risking our light and pride…sometimes…we can only tell when it’s only too late….

Would the hopes be true eventually…nonetheless…we live as bubbles in the ocean…unaware of what we can do…

Leaving us astray by that sweet but deadly warmth….

Forgiveness and consciouness is all I ask…to go through the times till the promised is fulfilled

Dareka

Coridor…pale yet warmth…at a verge of a cliff

However….eyes gazed at a dim light at the end

Closer it came…bedazzled I was

Sacred from its start, shockingly revealing its boundaries not even allowed

In awe….wondering who and why now

Knewing it would be an end…you came closer shouting out that hidden urge of closeness…

Embracing…as if time stood still…drops fell…

Happy as I was…still…in the silence of grasping things

Suddenly…you raised your face…showing me what’s supposed to be something for the dialogues to come

Losing my time…words of promise exchanged…vowing to wait each other despite all odds

Overwhelmed by it…nevertheless…I overlooked how I was supposed to address….the one with a sweet and tender smile

Even though…it all was nice…despite an unknown promise to whom I should fulfill it….

1 Month After

Kembalilah diriku menulis blog ini setelah agak lama tidak menulis...well not really. Selama selang waktu itu, sebetulnya ada beberapa notes yang tela kutuangkan di facebook, aslinya itu juga gara2 blm keinstall Office d laptop, jadinya langsung aja ketulis di facebok.

1 bulan sejak kukembali...well..almost sih. Selama 1 bulan setelah kembali dari Indo, banyak hal2 yang kembali kualami. Tetapi lebih banyak hal baru yang kualami selama 1 bulan ini. Terlepas dari baru ato engganya...yang pasti semua itu telah membuatku berpikir akan suatu hal.

Pikiran pertama ketika kukembali ke perth adalah kembali lagi memulai rutinitas normal yang biasa kujalani. Pertama kerja, luckily I managed to get myself tuned without any setbacks. Secara fisik, alhamdulillah engga berubah banyak. Untungnya selama liburan aku senantiasa menjaga kondisi fisikku (walo ujung2nya balik ke perth nambah 1 kilo :P)

But then...there came study. Hal yang menjadi tujuan utamaku dsini ternyata tidak semgampang yang kubayangkan. Twists and turns here and there menjadikan semester ini menjadi JAAAAUUUUUHHHHH lebih susah daripada semester2 sebelumnya. Even though i can use my past experience to get my self geared up quicker, life just won't be the same again.

And also, it's not only studies that's occupying my mind, it's also the fact that I'm in my last year here.Meaning?I have to get a grip on the reality that I'm gonna face later..which is finding a job. Despite the fact that I've always yearned to work overseas (regardless of critics and cynical views from my friends), it just seems difficult when I look back at my past facts. The fact that I have no work experience what so ever in accounting, no PR status, and all other stuffs, just seems to sum up in my head, making me anxious on how to face this future of mine.

Ok...honestly, I've somehow got a grip on what to do on this part. It's all coz I thought that I've just gotta do the things that lead to it. Despite the long and hard road ahead, that's the path I ave chosen and engraved to my self...3,5 years ago.

Relationship...oh no...please. But honestly, as a normal guy..who doesn't want to have a close relationship with the opposite sex?However, I was always a sucker for these kinda things...and it seems to be going on. My past experience over the last vacation has taught me some good lessons concerning this. However, constant dreams coming makes me always loose my cool to face this bothering situation. I'ld like to follow those dreams..but yet...after I think again...I don't deserve it...at least for now...therefor...it seems I'm gonna have to endure the loneliness huh ....

Loneliness..?yeah...speaking of that...it sure does reminds me of that fateful day....3,5 years ago. And when I relate it to now...it just all adds up and make sense. Though painful....but what I've thought back then would be how I'll be and should be doing things. And it certainly does help to save myself that is becoming weak hearted.

Why I chose that path back then...?Nothing more and nothing less to redeem myself from my lost times. That's wy I'm here...to retrieve it back...Therefor...cold minded...cold hearted are just some of the qualities I need to execute my dreams back then and get back my lost time. It's obviously gonna be painfull...not to mention lonely...but I believe that's the fate I have to shoulder.

This might be my last blog for the next couple of time ahead. NO blogs...and no notes....so no boring reading anymore for all u readers. And do not expect any lame poets again (sorry for the promised poet that I'ld like to give u a look). Even though I will be making any...it'll be for private consumption only since names are gonna be in it....don't wanna stir any troubles with saying names :P

Sayonara...minna...

Back to Foreverness

Aaaahhhhh….akhirnya….back to perth….setelah 2,5 bulan ku pulangkan jiwa dan ragaku ke tanah airku Indonesia…kembali diriku harus go bek tu perth demi meraih cita2ku :P
How was my vacation?Seperti permen nano nano…rame banget rasanya liburanku….semuanya bisa dikatakan kualami…senang (pastinya ini lebih banyak :P), susah (susah karena hal2 GJ) dan sedih…lho kok sedih?ada ajah deeehhh:p…tapi pastinya ini juga melengkapi liburanq menjadi suatu liburan yang member hikmah yang banyak bagi diriku.

Awal2nya kupikir 2,5 bulan bisa bener2 kugunakan tuk hal2 yang sesuai jadwal…ternyata engga….2 minggu pertama….pengennya relax do nothing…malah selama 2 minggu ini ku masih diserang jetlag. Jadinya bawaanku ngantuk cepat…padahal masih jam 9 malam . The next couple of weeks I tried to start enjoying things as I planned. But yeah…kita merencanakan..Allah berkehendak lain….ternyata hidup engga seindah impian he..he..he..:P

But then…life still goes on…After a month there…I finally did what others say a real vacation. Artine jalan2 ke luar menikmati liburan dan engga hanya diem aja di rumah. Palembang, Bandung, Jakarta dan Surabaya menjadi sasaran jalan2ku…maklumlah…malang sendiri isinya cuma itu2 aja, jadinya pengennya mengenal tempat2 lain:P. Khusus tuk Palembang….walo Cuma 2 hari aja…it was quite worth it…menikmati bagaimana rasanya pulau Sumatra dan wisata kulinernya;). For Bandung?He..he..he..palagi kalo engga hunting baju2 bagus nan murah ;). Habisnya….baju2 di perth mahalnya minta mati…ntar kalo diriku engga punya baju masa diriku mau telanjang di perth?maybe aman2 aja sih :p…tapi entar diriku bisa ditangkap polisi Indo atas tuduhan pelanggaran UU Pornografi (emang bisa polisi indo nangkepin orang di perth ?).

The last month of my visit there was simply a bit plain. Cuma berusaha menikmati liburan apa adanya:P. But it still gave me the best memories and impression needed to refill my spirit for the upcoming semester. If there is one thing I still regret is not being able to meet all my friends for one last time before going back. However, I’ve predicted this so it didn’t leave me that disappointed though .
And here I am then…back to foreverness. U might wonder why I say foreverness?Well…it’s just that I always reminisce back to last year when I first came to perth. Left alone a month prior the start of studies was one of the loneliest times in my life. With the summer heat that was strikingly hot, the cloudless blue skies and the tree leaves that didn’t even move…it just felt like it would stay like that forever…especially when the day is long during summer. But yeah the again…that was a year ago. Now?Its obviously much more better. At least I know what to do and who to contact know even after 2,5 months leaving perth.

Nevertheless, the 2,5 months did somehow leave some unexpected excess on me…for example…I seem to having difficulties on speaking good and proper English. If before I could just speak without even have to think what I wanna speak…now its like I’ve gotta think first before saying something…crap…this really isn’t good news. This means that I might have trouble when I face the customers on my work .

Study?well….I do hope I haven’t lost the sensation of how to study properly and effectively. With a target of 4 High Distinctions (Ya Allah…berikanlah hambaMU ini kekuatan tuk meraihnya), I’m gonna have to put everything I have to achieve it. Of course with more effort and sacrifices than ever before. Its gonna be one hell of a semester for the next couple of months….

Therefor…despite the ups and downs I’ve had over the past 2,5 months…I’m gonna have to leave it behind and look forward to the next semester. Put aside all your troubles, worries and despair to concentrate on what u’ve planned and aimed for. For the next semester…ganbatte kudasai ne ….matta ne ;)

Un-said

Un-said memories…un-said words…un-said thoughts…un-said emotions…un-said times…un-said heart…un-said minds…un-said promises…un-said dreams…un-said ties…un-said masks…un-said fatamorganas…un-said passion…un-said tears…un-said wishes…un-said aspirations…un-said forever it will be…

Light in the midst of rain

For once….I thought rain was something to be accepted with disdain…for it did ceased the rays to come.

For a moment…I felt that rain was to accepted with bitterness and displeasure….for it caused a mind to go astray.

For a second…the rain that poured like cats and dogs almost caused a flood of eye sweat so sour that it even caused blindness.

For a while…I thought rain would make time to stop as it is…in a merciless manner depriving us from desires.

Yet so…a distinct ray comes passing through…enlightening the losts of any despair.

Certainly…a revelation seems approaching the dusk of times…reaching the bottom of foreverness to purify lust.

With the time that suddenly continued…its as if seven outlooks drop by and offer us a glimpse of whats to come.

Look ever forward beyond the mists of eternity and grasp that rock steady dream you’ve defined on the start...for it shall bear the fruits to countless bounties that can never be counted...

Embrace

Everyone has something they dear and long…however…do we have the ultimate power to make that true?

Sometimes we wait years and ages for something to happen and come…yet….did it came to truth?

We always have that precious thing we yearn of…nevertheless…did we ever receive that very thing?

For that everything we once dreamed of….still…do we now hold on o those dreams we once felt so?

The lasting feelings and thought I had for those days….however….has it ever had its effect on the miserable days we now live?

Timeless days and night that come and go….despite so….can we shoulder the coldness that slowly lurks in our spine?

Blindless paths we go…however…did we forsee the ultimate things that we had to remember for life?

Lost roads to forever….can we grasp what we’ve longed deep in our hearts….covered sinfully by mud?

For all we had….for all we felt….for everything we done….can we ever peacefully embrace the things good and bad?

If black and white was what we had to go through….then….can we ever calmly accept our preceding times?

The blues of memories we concluded…is it that tough to be ever erased for the good of the imminent steps?

Even so…with all that’s forthcoming…still…embracing the blacks and white is what we gruesomely go on and on till darkness or light awaits us…..

Some Things That Tickle Me....

Ketika ku menyusuri kota….terlihat hamparan hutan beton kokoh sekaligus angkuh berdiri tegap memenuhi ruang negeri. Kukatakan angkuh karena hanya beberapa meter disekitarnya terdapat gubuk dan lapak2 reot berpenghuni pekerja yang mengadu nasib di kota nan ganas itu.

Ketika ku melihat orang-orang…tampaklah wajah-wajah kuyu nan letih termakan hari. Berjalan dan berdiri lesu dan lelah akibat tergerus perjuangan demi meraih sesuap nasi….demi meraih gaji…demi meraih impian hidup….
Ketika kunaiki mobil….terkaget aku oleh tiadanya sopan santun. Sikap semauku yang sewaktu-waktu bisa mengundang malaikat maut bagi yang memang waktunya telah tiba. Hamparan kereta besi disetiap sudut tempat tidak bisa dituruti oleh cukupnya jalan untuk memenuhi ke-egoisan itu.

Ketika ku berjalan di mall….terkesima kumelihat gemerlapnya hiburan orang kota yang serba lengkap dan mewah. Namun demikian….mengapa seakan aku mendapati adanya suatu kehampaan dari setiap senyum dan ketawa mereka….senyum dan ketawa yang seakan menyiratkan suatu dahaga akan suatu naturalism hidup yang sudah langka di kefanaan ini…

Ketika kubelanja ke pasar-pasar….tertegun aku menatap orang2 yang berusaha keras hidup halal. Hanya saja…usaha jernih mereka seakan tertelan oleh ganasnya kapitalisme dunia yang tidak pernah memihak mereka2 ini…hanya mereka2 yang bermodalkan banyaknya kertas tanpa nilai intrinsik….

Ketika kumenunggu lampu hijau di perempatan….tersilap diriku mendapati banyaknya anak2 kecil mengamen pada masa ketika mereka harusnya menikmati indahnya masa kanak2 mereka….Tertegun ku menatap pengemis dengan serba-serbi efek yang mereka pakai…demi mengesankan kondisi hanya tuk setelapak cepek-an dari jiwa2 dibalik kaca….

Sungguh…apakah hanya diriku yang terlalu merasa peka…atau memang dunia itu sungguh merupakan suatu realita kelam negeri ini yang menjadi wajah di mata para tamunya?Sebegitu pentingkah materi dan glamor sehingga merasa perlu mengenakan topeng-topeng penutup dan pembeku hati dari ancaman yang dapat mengganggu mengalirnya hal2 tadi?

Jika bukan diriku yang terlalu sensitif, maka pecahkanlah Ya Allah Ya Rabb…topeng2 jiwa mereka agar dapat melihat dan merasakan pekatnya kefanaan yang sedang mereka rasakan…agar sedikit saja mereka dapat tersadar dari betapa semunya hal2 yang mereka rasakan….agar sedikit saja mereka dapat memahami butuhnya jiwa dalam hidup…

New Habits

Back again...kali tetep melanjutkan Tour de Indonesia ku (setelah rehat bentar ke Ngalam tercinta). Asline sih g bisa dikatakan tour de Indonesia...lha wong yang disinggahi ya cuma kota2 di jawa doang. Paling diluar itu ya cuma ke Palembang kaya tempo hari...mungkin kalo dicari istilah yang lebih tepat ya Tour de Jawa via Palembang (meminjam istilah Tour-nya laruku:P).

Anyway, dengan sisa waktuku dsini, aku sendiri sedang berusaha memampatkan kegiatan2ku. Bisa dikatakan 80% bisa kuselesaikan dalam waktu seminggu di ngalam barusan. The rest...still ongoing:P. Dengan kegiatanku memampatkan keperluan2ku, maka tentu ada beberapa hal yang harus kukorbankan...mainly my habit of reading manga and watching anime’s.

Bicara masalah anime dan manga, entah mengapa tapi sudah beberapa bulan ini ku rasakan suatu kejenuhan luar biasa. Awalnya kupikir cuma kejenuhan sesaat akibat bentuk hiburan satu2nya ku di perth yang kering hiburan batiniyah (yang beres tentunya). Tapi setelah menginjak bumi Indo tercinta, kejenuhan itu bahkan berlanjut sampai tingkat2 yang kupikir sendiri agak aneh....

Di Indo, aku malah lebih hanyut membaca buku...yup....buku....Not the ones with graphic pictures in it...but those with plain and complete text in it. Suatu hal yang dahulu kala merupakan kegiatan langka kulakukan malah sekarang aku sangat terhanyut membaca buku...??Bukannya aku sama sekali engga baca manga...tapi entah mengapa aku seudah merasakan suatu kejenuhan dan hilangnya kenikmatan membacanya. Apakah ini suatu titik nadir perjalanan nge-manga selama ini dan mulai memasuki suatu fase hidup yang baru??

Anime...nasib yang sama dengan manga. Tapi paling engga ada sedikit kenikmatan tersisa...terutama dari judul2 lawas macam Gundam dan Macross. Niatku untuk pensiun dari dunia anime pun rasanya engga bisa dibilang sempurna nantinya coz pastinya dua judul tadi engga bakal ada matinya:P. But at least...aku bisa mengonsentrasikan pikiran...waktu....dan BANDWITH INTERNET-ku (I do have to admit this:D) untuk hal2 lain yang lebih berguna daripada belain donlot anime mulu. So...from now on...I’m gonna have to say “Au revoir” to anime....unless in the future there’re anime’s such as Code Geass and Fullmetal Alchemist (two best anime’s that have had my attention ;))

Nevertheless...with my age going older and younger...ooppss...I mean older :P, a change of habit would be normal for me as I hope to mature myself. However, I do hope that I don’t forget the sensation those two things have given to me over the times. I hope my new habits can further give me more fun but also shape my matureness in facing life:D

Ah yeah....there’s still one habit that hasn’t changed from me...what’s that???Yup...you’ve guessed it....main winning eleven:P. Yang ini bukannya engga bisa...tapi dengan bermain ini saja ada unsur2 silahturahim coz kita bermain at least ama teman. Dan ketika memainkannya pun kita juga akan berbicara ngalor ngidul. Bisa diibaratkan main WE aka Playstation itu sama dengan para esmud estu (eksekutip tua:D) main golf :D. So...bisa jadi selama aku belum kerja dan jadi esmud (moga2 engga estu)...playstation and Winning Eleven bakal terus kulakoni B-). Who knows....ada temen2 kantor ato atasan yang lebih demen main winning eleven daripada harus panas2an main golf. Kalo emang tuk urusan bisnis, kan bisa dilakukan di ruangan ber-AC, main Winning Eleven sambil menyeruput moccacino (minuman pengantar WE-ku selama 5 taon:D) dan sekaligus membicarakan kontrak2 bisnis penting he..he..he..semoga aja entar bisa kaya gitu:P...amin

So...begitulah atarashi habit-ku:P. Dengan demikian....maka masih banyak buku2 yang harus kuselesaikan dalam sisa liburanku....semoga bisa kulakukan...SEMANGAT YEAH!!!!!

Ooopsss....I did it Again....

Liburanku tinggal 1 bulan lagi...dan aku merasa belum ngapa2in...tidaakkkk?!

Well...engga separah itu sih....hanya saja aku jadinya harus memadatkan seluruh jadwal dan kegiatan2ku dalam sisa waktuku. Bukannya aq dari kemaren2 engga bisa...hanya saja banyak yang membuatku engga bisa:P.....Dari lebatnya hujan yang membuat badan malas setengah hidup tuk kluar.....menjalankan kewajiban sebagai anak yang baik mengantarkan ibunya ketika berada di malang.....harus rebutan mobil akibat tumpleknya rumahku dengan pria2 dewasa yang merasa kebutuhan egonya harus disalurkan dengan memanfaatkan mobil sebagai saran transportasi yang nyaman, lega dan prestise (aku....adikku...dan ayahku:D)

Namun demikian...aku jadi ngerasa liburanku jadi bener2 bermanfaat dan berkesan coz bener2 bsa melakukan hal2 yang penting....walo harus sedikit pontang panting ngatur schedule (maklum....orang sibuk ^^;). Untungnya....sejauh ini semua masih bisa kuatasi....Paling2 yang susah ya ketika ada yang ngajak ketemuan....nah susahnya tuh ngajak2 temen2 yang lain tuk meluangkan waktu mereka tuk sekedar reunian:P.

As bout my title...well...first of all....I do hope no one in my family reads this posting...if not....I’m bound to be grounded..... (noleh kanan kiri njaga ada anggota keluarga yang mbaca ini engga...). Dimulai pada suatu malam ketika cak yusuf main ke kota asalnya (walo asline lair nang ozzy:P). Arek’e ngejak billiard....yazu...janji ketemuan di The Loft-nya MATOS. Meluncurlah aq kesana setelah dari somad. Berhubung blm tau ke MATOS malam terutama ke tempat biliardnya...aq tnya ke satpamnya....”Pak...klo ke The Loft parker dimana?”....”Parkir di tempat paling atas....ntar ada pintu belakang kesana”.....Then I went up to park my car....

Dari sini segalanya bermula....dimulai gara2 aq kurang berbelok ngambil sudut tuk parkir....jadinya pas masuk ke tempat parkir agak mepet....aslinya sih dah masuk....Cuma disisi sebelah kananku agak mepet. So aku putuskan tuk menyesuaikan posisi mobil dengan sedikit geser kanan geser kiri (emangnya duduk di angkot?)....Tiba2 pas sedang penyesuaian posisi itu terdengar bunyi “......SRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKKK............”

Seketika aq sadar dan berkata dalam hati...”Ooooppppss......I did it again.....”...malam itu aku kembali sukses memberet sisi mobilq dengan pasak tiang....Sempet panik....tapi kucoba tuk cari posisi parkir secepatnya. Habis itu aq kluar tuk ngecek seberapa parah beretnya. Berhubung malam itu gelap (emang ada malam yang terang???) aku mendapati hanya setitik noda di pintu kanan. Oh well....g parah2 amet pikirku....So....Then I spent the night playing billiard di MATOS (walo asline ra iso dan kalah dibantai ma cak Yusuf :P).

Namun demikian...masalahku belum slsai rupanya....Sesampainya di rumah....kembali kucek kondisi mobil. Kali ini dibawah guyuran sinar lampu yang melimpah dari lampu garasi gw....dan kudapati....”Aarrrrrrrrgggghhhhh......besetnya gede juga!!!!!!!!”. Emang....kalo diliat dari jauh (dari Hong Kong trutama :P)....Engga bakal kliatan..eh...bgtu kalo dilliat dari deket (pake mikroskop apalagi)...ternyata gede :((....Seketika aku berpikir....bakal ilang sekitar ½ juta tuk mbenerin beset di mobil....dan ternyata bener pas kucoba tanyakan ke bengkel mobil besoknya.....:(

Walhasil.....kesimpulannya adalah berhati2 ketika mo parkir mobil...apalagi di mall indo yang notabene tempat parkirnya super sempit....apa emang aku-nya kali yang blm ahli???Ah....who knows....Eniwei...harus buruan mbenerin tuh mobil....sebelum ada yang tahu....sebelum ada kluargaku yang ngebaca blog ini................dan semoga sisa liburanku terbebas dari musibah mobil beret lagi....Amin

僕の未来は

I took my time…and I’ve finally got glimpse of everything…..of things I need to do….and things I wanna do…

It might seem quick…but for me it seemed like forever…it doesn’t mean that I’m finished yet…its just that I’m on it now….

Thanks for the comments on the previous two blogs before….seemed depressing?Sure did….:P, However…It looks like I can look at a new perspective….while of course working on it though…

I’ve been getting a lot of advice from friends here and there. But there were advice from two people….One said….life is full of hindrances here and there and our age as our time to use it wisely to aime for our goal. Sadness is just part of everything in our life and we shall bear the fruits of our efforts if we succeed insya Allah….

Honestly….this one striked me deeply…for I never thought this friend of mine would say these words…as if this friend of mine they what I was going through….as if my mind and heart could be read by my friend of mine….Nevertheless…I’m gratefull for the precious advice my friend has given me….eventhough there still lies some irony behind that advice that came to me….

The other was when chatted with a long friend of mine….It just all turned out that he was nearly also in the same condition as what I was going through….therefor…I got some valuable support and advice on how to go through my problems….
With everything that came….what I’m doing now is to put everything I’ve learnt and got into motion that is. Not easy obviously but its worth the effort….the effort to rebuild everything I need to make a brand new me that is ready to face new and neverending challenges when I get back to Perth.

With my time left in Indonesia…I also need to use it preciously. If the 1st thirds of my vacation was for myself….I guess the last two thirds would be for my family and my friends. With all this, I’m planning to go through everything that has made me to…some kind of requiem for me….to remind me of my roots that would eventually encourage and motivate me.

As for now…I’m bored with the illusions Ive felt these past couple of months….its time to face reality and keep my feet firm on the ground. I’m still keeping my whole dreams intact…just only approaching it with more caution.
Endnote….Even though I cannot fulfil one promise…I’ve found something more important…俺の夢が…俺の明日…俺の未来は

Paradoxism

Hape-nya Blackberry…tapi providernya prabayar…

Mobilnya Jaguar….tapi itu aslinya punya majikannya…:P

Gelarnya professor….tapi hasil beli di sebuah lembaga pendidikan….

Ngakunya mahasiswa….tapi kerjaannya demo anarkis….

Katanya pelayan sipil….tapi jam 2 siang kantor dah sepi….

Katanya nyari utang luar negeri….tapi ke tempat perundingan naik limusin…

Ngomongnya sih minjem tuk modalin usaha….tapi nyatanya tuk beliin anaknya mobil baru…

Ngakunya bisa bela diri….bisanya jurus seribu langkah doang….:D

Bilangnya nggarap skripsi sendiri….aslinya dikerjain di tempat pengerjaan skripsi instan….

Ngakunya kita bangsa yang sungkan….padahal yang bener tuh sungguh mengharapkan….

Ngomongnya engga sex bebas….ternyata di kos-kos-an mainnya gaya WoT….:P

Ngakunya engga ada duit buat bayar ganti rugi….engga tahunya nongol sebagai orang terkaya di Indonesia….

Ngomongnya cinta sampai mati….ternyata bulan depan dah di pengadilan agama….

Katanya cinta produk dalam negeri….engga tahunya belanja di Orchard Road….:P

Ngomongnya gede mau jadi penegak keadilan….eh pas muda-nya malah jadi pencekik
botol….

Bilangnya sih otot gede gara2 banyak olahraga….eh dibelakang minumnya steroid mulu…..

Ngomong ke istri nikahnya pake duit sendiri….padahal aslinya duit hasil suap :P….

Andai Hidup Semudah Game....

Menata kota itu semudah bermain SIM CITY….

Menata orang itu semudah bermain THE SIMS….

Memanage sepakbola semudah bermain Football Manager….

Bermain sepakbola semudah bermain Winning Eleven….

Menumpas teroris semudah bermain Counter Strike….

Bermain balapan jalanan semudah bermain Need For Speed….

Pergaulan sosial semudah bermain Ragnarok Online….

Serunya hidup bagaikan di dunia Final Fantasy….

Serunya berperang layaknya di Medal of Honour….

Penakhlukan suatu negeri semudah bermain Age of Empires….

Pengembangan suatu peradaban semudah Civilization….

Bermain golf semudah main PangYa….

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Mungkin hidup bakal lebih seru dan sempurna kali ya:P….?

Negeri Salah Urus....

Mall sana sini....emangnya kita disuruh belanja mulu???

Mobil sana sini....tidak adakah upaya memajaki mereka demi sebuah transportasi publik yang layak dan murah???

Kerusuhan sepakbola....kapan mau ke piala dunia kalo kaya gini mulu....

Wakil rakyat ketangkap menerima suap....upaya memperoleh pemasukan setelah uang habis tuk meraih kursi parlemen....

Pengemis palsu dimana-mana....efek visualnya ngalah-ngalahin ahli2 d Hollywood sono....dan juga....kapan kita tahu sedekah dan zakat kita tepat sasaran...???

Pendidikan mahal.....kapan pendidikan jadi memerdekakan kita kalo mo skul aja mahalnya minta mati....

Penggrebekan sana sini...bukti arah pembangunan negeri ini tidak dirumuskan bersama dan berpihak pada wong cilik....

Larinya Sumber daya alam kita.....bukti tergadainya harga diri negeri kepada pihak asing demi suatu kata “pembangunan”

Tidak mau kembalinya pakar2 ahli Indonesia dari LN.....karena negerinya sendiri tidak sanggup menyediakan dana dan fasilitas memadai untuk mengembangkan keilmuan mereka...

2 F-16...2 F-5...2 Su-27 dan 2 Su-30 MKI.....Singapura aja bisa dengan mudah ngacak-ngacak wilayah udara kita....

Pasien salah diagnosa....bukti betapa dokter2 serampangan dalam menjalankan profesinya....

Menyeberang jalan padahal disampingnya ada jembatan penyeberangan......sudah buta dan malaskah kita sampai menelantarkan jembatan penyeberangan yang dibuat demi keselamatan kita sendiri....??

SIM A dan SIM C dalam 1 jam (dijamin!!)....entah jadinya jalanan Indonesia seperti apa....

Banjir sana sini....bukti ketidak pedulian kita secara menyeluruh tuk memperhatikan lingkungan....

Seks in da kos....hilangnya budaya timur dan datangnya budaya nafsu demi sebuih kenikmatan duniawi sesaat....

Pungli sana sini....menjadikan ekonomi berbiaya tinggi dan seretnya roda ekonomi....

Tenaker murah....upaya menggadaikan penduduk negeri demi sebuah kata....”Investasi asing”

Bertanya pas kuliah dimarahi....salah tambah dimarahi lagi....kapan negeri ini bisa kritis kalo dibeginiin mulu...makanya kebanyakan bisanya mem-beo mulu....jadinya YES-man....

Wakil rakyat minta laptop 25 Jeti....paling2 dipake main solitaire, chatting, donlot dan nonton film serta minum kopi (yang ditaro di tempat CD/DVD) pas siding berlangsung....:P

Wakil rakyat ketiduran pas siding....semoga karena mereka bener2 lelah demi mengurusi rakyat....

BBM mahal....akibat liberalisasi sector migas yang membabi buta....

Film cinta dan horror.....bukti bahwa kebanyakan cinta bisa mendatangkan horror dalam hidup:D

Timor Timur...Aceh....Papua....semoga tidak ada lagi wilayah lain yang menyusul.....
Penyanyi nyanyi lagu cinta....nyata-nyata-nya merekalah pelaku cerai sana sini....
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Ah...sudahlah...sudah terlalu banyak masalah di negeriku....apakah ini bukti bahwa negeriku ini salah urus????

Look Ever Forward

“....Traps spreading countlessly, make 1 miss and you are dismissed delete....The future moves toward a virtual space, in the end the only certainty is this belief....”

For those of you who think I’m falling apart…for those of you who think I’m in despair…for those of you who think I’m lost…nai…nai…nai…I’m only just taking a brief stop and wondering how and where should I go and step through my life….

I may have yet to find my Raison D’etre here, but I’m getting the feeling of regaining my supposed dream that I have yet to reach. By just remembering that…It seems all my sorrows and despairs are lost by the neverending optimism and courage.
Walopun godaan dating tiap detik untuk tetap mengingat alasan awal itu, aku akhirnya memutuskan untuk lebih memikirkan dirikus sendiri dan apa2 yang bias kuperbuat untuk diriku sendiri…kembali mengorbankan kebahagiaan pribadiku tuk meraih impian dan cita2ku

Mungkin diantara kalian ada yang bertanya kenapa harus mengorbankan kebahagiaan pribadiku…?Itu tidak lain karena adanya suatu kejadian masa lampau yang membuatku harus menebus rasa bersalah itu dan melakukan yang terbaik….walopun bisa dikatakan masih pada yang jalur yang salah…namun demikian…..perenunganku saat itu dan sekarang pun masih memberikan suatu jawaban yang sama….

Bahkan mungkin kecenderungannya aku bakal mulai “sell my soul to the devil”….hahaha….tenang aja kok…engga sebegitu parah seperti yang tertulis….hanya saja bisa jadi aku bakal melakukan hal2 yang sifatnya kejam bagi diri dan prinsipku tuk meraih apa yang kuharapkan….You never know when you would run out of time….so….for the better good….sometimes….no…..often….sacrifices need to be done….and usually its in the form of having to sacrifice our heart and happiness.

Terlepas dari urusan ruwet di paragraf atas….semua ini merupakan upayaku untuk senantiasa menatap masa depan dan melupakan apa2 yang telah lewat. Sekalipun apa2 yang telah lewat itu merupakan suatu kebahagiaan….namun seketika aku merasa belum pantas menikmati hal itu dan aku kembali menjejak bumi tuk melanjutkan upayaq menebus waktu yang hilang dahulu.

Apa2 yang kukatakan bisa jadi mengesankan aku menempatkan diriku pada suatu titik yang ekstrim bila diandaikan pada suatu poros. Hanya saja….selalu memang begitu diriku….engga pernah bisa menempatkan diriku bener2 di tengah….Jadinya seringkali aku berada pada berbagai titik ekstrim. Memang….kejadian saat itu membuatku tersadar akan akan betapa pentingnya keselarasan dalam hidup….dan sejak itu pula aku senantiasa berupaya tuk meraihnya….hanya saja…melihat keadaanku saat ini….sepertinya jalan dan upaya ku masih kurang dan panjang….

Demi waktuku yang hilang….kebahagiaan pribadi pun harus kugadaikan….demi menebus kesalahan masa lalu….