Wanted? Or maybe in fact really unwanted for me . . . anyway . . . here are a list of some things, or items to be precise, that’s been bothering my mind for the past moments. As if there’s been a devil incepted to my soul, endlessly prompting me to burn my wallet and get these things . . . here they are . . . . .
1. Be Be . . . BB . . The Blackberry
Nope, it ain’t some sort of fruit or a juice. It’s nowadays one of those handheld gadgets that you see people hold in their palms every second. Basically a phone, or maybe a smart phone if you wanna keep up 2 date, but what makes it uber famous (in Indonesia) is because of its dedicated Blackberry Messenger thru a sole internet link. Why people are so drooling for this is because they say it’ll keep you in contact every mili second. Add it with a good internet line, you’re pretty much in a virtual neighborhood.
And the fact most of my mates have this puny little thingy, they keep roaring the lame fact that it’ll keep you up in the vibes. Yeah . . . like hell I’ll fall for that. But what’s really itching my mind is the undeniable fact that it gives you unlimited access to the internet (if you use a full package that is). Another thing that has really bothering my faith . . . . T_T.
Hence, up to to this very moment, I’m still clinging on to not buying that gadget. Not only do I lack the money needed so, but I also feel that my current activities haven’t called for such need. So to me . . . it’ll still be a fruit for me, just let it be :P
2. Android Smartphone
Compared to a BB, I’ld really love to buy this one. But then . . . . the lack of money forbids me so. Hahaha . . . and to make things worst, I been buying recent tabloids and magazine on cellphone, making me fantasize on having one >.<
What makes it soooo lovable. Okay . . . it features the android OS itself, which as they say, boast the flexibility to do anything to your phone (due to its linux basis). Next is the availability of having tons of software to customize your phone as you wish. What next?eeerrrr . . . . . . . . . i think its again about the techs itself, boasting the latest techs and specs with it.
But then its all a dream. Coupled with the fact that I still do love my current phone makes me thinking twice on do I really need an Android yet???
3. Credit Card
Ahaaa . . . one of those smart yet devilish cards on earth. Yes it saves you in times of empty wallet, yes it does lead you to a convenient lifestyle having many vendors and places offering discounts and cash backs if you posses a certain card, yes it does gives you the thought that you are rich, but then . . . . . . . its all just an illusion.
Its just basically a card that allows you the privilege to borrow money from your bank. But little do people nowadays realize that by possessing one, you’ld better get your cash flows on track and strict as a late payment would hit you hard wit soaring interest rates. Hence, it’ll only serve you best if you can pay your debts on time and in full payments.
In here, the problems add up, particularly coz of credit card fraud. Regardless where you use it, be it the net or in any vendors, you’re always exposed to the risk of getting your card number stolen. If so, just be prepared for some unwanted usage of your card which might prompt you to cancel your card.
End note, if you decide to have one, makes sure you can manage your money first and have a healthy lifestyle as this card could be both you saviour and devil at the same time.
4. Bigger internet access
Huaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh . . . . . . i wonder why the internet connection in Indonesia SUCKS !! Really makes me miss my times back abroad where I had an abundant amount of bandwith at my disposal T_T.
But thinking of having a bigger access would really blow my wallet. Not only that, you still suffer from the possibility that your speed is not as they promoted in the ads. Therefor, I’m again stuck on how to keep myself connected to the world.
Again, if there were one, which can be searched for, my account keeps reminding me of how low I am on my cash flow each month if I force myself >.<. Thus, its all a in the end, just a dream of something that I hope to have. Better start of by being thankfull for the things I have even though its the least rather than not having anything at all . . . . .
Friday, November 19, 2010
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Heads up high
Life is as it is . . . bright . . . dull . . . dark . . .or colorful
It goes back to what glasses we use . . .
Nevertheless, our age would always be a rainbow, shining thru after the rain
They will sometimes be cold, tough, and sometimes frightening
But worry not love, you’re not alone . . . . as we humans are meant to be together
Names may be shouted on us . . . things could be thrown to faces . . . or even stabbed from behind
Fear not dear . . . believe in Karma, and let the heavens do their job, for our lives are too precious for heavens work
Pray for light and forgiveness to be bestowed upon them while we go on thru life
It’s not bout looks . . . its takes heart and mind to whether the journey thru this mundane world, as it’ll wind away and show the eternity of ones soul
Road could lead astray . . . and it would be our belief that’ll keep us on track
Heads up . . . proud enough and smile to the world, for we have got to this moment
Look ever forward . . . see the promised future that we’ve both envisioned, and race thru all things till the heaven’s ring by
It goes back to what glasses we use . . .
Nevertheless, our age would always be a rainbow, shining thru after the rain
They will sometimes be cold, tough, and sometimes frightening
But worry not love, you’re not alone . . . . as we humans are meant to be together
Names may be shouted on us . . . things could be thrown to faces . . . or even stabbed from behind
Fear not dear . . . believe in Karma, and let the heavens do their job, for our lives are too precious for heavens work
Pray for light and forgiveness to be bestowed upon them while we go on thru life
It’s not bout looks . . . its takes heart and mind to whether the journey thru this mundane world, as it’ll wind away and show the eternity of ones soul
Road could lead astray . . . and it would be our belief that’ll keep us on track
Heads up . . . proud enough and smile to the world, for we have got to this moment
Look ever forward . . . see the promised future that we’ve both envisioned, and race thru all things till the heaven’s ring by
Our Nexus
You laugh . . . I laugh . . .
You cry . . . I cry . . .
You moan . . . I listen . . .
You fall . . . I bring you up . . .
You share . . . we enjoy . . .
You astray . . . I remind . . .
You silence . . . I ask why?
You dream . . . we vision
You smile . . . we love . . .
Our hearts intertwined with each other, makes you also do the same with me
Thru tears, laughs and dreams we’ve shared together, we are visioning an endless nexus, unbreakable ever
The thorns would always bite us . . . but it’ll be us to tirelessly grab our hands and go thru it unscathed
It doesn’t always need logic . . . just complement it with our hearts and sense, hence countless possibilities are em bowed to us
Can’t wait to make all this official . . . waiting for the heavens to lay their greetings on us :)
You cry . . . I cry . . .
You moan . . . I listen . . .
You fall . . . I bring you up . . .
You share . . . we enjoy . . .
You astray . . . I remind . . .
You silence . . . I ask why?
You dream . . . we vision
You smile . . . we love . . .
Our hearts intertwined with each other, makes you also do the same with me
Thru tears, laughs and dreams we’ve shared together, we are visioning an endless nexus, unbreakable ever
The thorns would always bite us . . . but it’ll be us to tirelessly grab our hands and go thru it unscathed
It doesn’t always need logic . . . just complement it with our hearts and sense, hence countless possibilities are em bowed to us
Can’t wait to make all this official . . . waiting for the heavens to lay their greetings on us :)
The Extinct~Manga
Graphic novels . . . . or manga as they say in nihongo. I bet, every people nowadays have at least read a manga once. To good to be true, the magic of reading a manga, where you can choose your desired title, really does leave you stunned and leaving wanting to wait for the next chapter.
Practically in Indonesia, graphic novels are from Japan, the percentage is around 97% I believe. It was only recently that those from Korea and the US tried to go thru the Indonesian market offering their variety of titles and genres. Regardless so, each every one of them has their own market.
Back to myself, I can remember reading these tiny books ever since grade 3. Back then in Singapore, it was a luxury to read such books as we had to go to Indonesia to get one that was already translated in Indonesian. I remember that one of my favorite manga was one called “Kenji”. A classic title that even manga oldschoolers till now would highly regard this title due to its story and artwork.
And as I grew older, the title’s I read expanded. But it wasn’t till my Uni days that the number of titles and my enthusiasm towards manga really exploded :P. Hundreds of titles I read and more genres I enjoyed. It surely did in someway, broaden my view of what’s happening in the world in a more surreal graphically way. And it also heightened up my interest in Japanese stuffs as almost of the titles I read where from Japan.
Not only I read them in hard copy format, I also progressed on to downloading the soft copies from the internet. With the number of titles available increasing, I slowly shifted away from my regular comic rental to self picking them from the internet. Not only its cheaper, but we also get the privileged to have them straight or sooner than waiting for the official printed version in Indonesia.
But then . . . why called it extinct? Well....pretty much due to the sudden fact that I just stopped reading them for now apparent reason. To say not reading at all would be wrong cause I do read some selected titles, just for the sake of finishing them of due to their interesting story. No apparent clear reason can be found to why I just stopped suddenly. Guess it might be the thought that I had to move on in life and do something more worthwhile.
Unlike philately where it has been dead and left in the cupboards, manga isn’t total dead to me. It’s just fading away, surely for to be extinct some day in my life. Till then, just enjoy on what’s left . . . .
Practically in Indonesia, graphic novels are from Japan, the percentage is around 97% I believe. It was only recently that those from Korea and the US tried to go thru the Indonesian market offering their variety of titles and genres. Regardless so, each every one of them has their own market.
Back to myself, I can remember reading these tiny books ever since grade 3. Back then in Singapore, it was a luxury to read such books as we had to go to Indonesia to get one that was already translated in Indonesian. I remember that one of my favorite manga was one called “Kenji”. A classic title that even manga oldschoolers till now would highly regard this title due to its story and artwork.
And as I grew older, the title’s I read expanded. But it wasn’t till my Uni days that the number of titles and my enthusiasm towards manga really exploded :P. Hundreds of titles I read and more genres I enjoyed. It surely did in someway, broaden my view of what’s happening in the world in a more surreal graphically way. And it also heightened up my interest in Japanese stuffs as almost of the titles I read where from Japan.
Not only I read them in hard copy format, I also progressed on to downloading the soft copies from the internet. With the number of titles available increasing, I slowly shifted away from my regular comic rental to self picking them from the internet. Not only its cheaper, but we also get the privileged to have them straight or sooner than waiting for the official printed version in Indonesia.
But then . . . why called it extinct? Well....pretty much due to the sudden fact that I just stopped reading them for now apparent reason. To say not reading at all would be wrong cause I do read some selected titles, just for the sake of finishing them of due to their interesting story. No apparent clear reason can be found to why I just stopped suddenly. Guess it might be the thought that I had to move on in life and do something more worthwhile.
Unlike philately where it has been dead and left in the cupboards, manga isn’t total dead to me. It’s just fading away, surely for to be extinct some day in my life. Till then, just enjoy on what’s left . . . .
The Extinct~Philately
Who doesn’t know philately? For total newbies, its practically the hobby of collecting stamps and related items pertaining to it. Though it looks boring, but honestly, it is one of the few hobbies where not only you collect items, but you also get to know all new other things as you go by. This is because stamps always depict something in them which sooner or later, would tickle our curiosity to get to know something new related to their inserted illustration.
Well, that’s enough for the introduction. Let’s start of with one my extinct pet hobbies. To say extinct means that I’ve once had a good time enjoying doing this till I suddenly stopped doing so . . . .
I can’t clearly remember since when I liked stating collection these small perforated items. Guess it was around grade 5 back then in S’pore. It escalated when I moved on living in Jakarta. During these times, I continued to a more serious level by collecting other stamp related items such as FDC’s and stamp sheets. It surely cost me a lot of money, which meant I had to keep saving to be able to get the latest item each every publishing.
By collecting them, it also meant I had to hunt for items that where rare or those that I haven’t had yet back then. And not only collecting all them, but I also had to go all the excitement of carefully covering them with protective plastics to guard them from fungi before storing them in the stamp book. To sum them up, it carefully trained my attention to detail and heart to patiently saving to get new ones.
But as they say, all good things must come to an end. The same goes for philately. My entrance to uni practically robbed my time and attention to take care of my hobby. Hence, it just faded away suddenly without saying good bye.
And now . . . the years have passed since I last brought my last stamp set. Every once in a while, it does tickle me to start collecting stamps again. This nostalgic feeling sure is lovely. But I also have to be honest with myself that current conditions require me to be pragmatic and use my money for better stuffs now and later. Therefore, my dearest collections would pretty be much kept safely in my cupboard, far from light and fungi that could destroy them . . . .
Well, that’s enough for the introduction. Let’s start of with one my extinct pet hobbies. To say extinct means that I’ve once had a good time enjoying doing this till I suddenly stopped doing so . . . .
I can’t clearly remember since when I liked stating collection these small perforated items. Guess it was around grade 5 back then in S’pore. It escalated when I moved on living in Jakarta. During these times, I continued to a more serious level by collecting other stamp related items such as FDC’s and stamp sheets. It surely cost me a lot of money, which meant I had to keep saving to be able to get the latest item each every publishing.
By collecting them, it also meant I had to hunt for items that where rare or those that I haven’t had yet back then. And not only collecting all them, but I also had to go all the excitement of carefully covering them with protective plastics to guard them from fungi before storing them in the stamp book. To sum them up, it carefully trained my attention to detail and heart to patiently saving to get new ones.
But as they say, all good things must come to an end. The same goes for philately. My entrance to uni practically robbed my time and attention to take care of my hobby. Hence, it just faded away suddenly without saying good bye.
And now . . . the years have passed since I last brought my last stamp set. Every once in a while, it does tickle me to start collecting stamps again. This nostalgic feeling sure is lovely. But I also have to be honest with myself that current conditions require me to be pragmatic and use my money for better stuffs now and later. Therefore, my dearest collections would pretty be much kept safely in my cupboard, far from light and fungi that could destroy them . . . .
Sunday, November 07, 2010
Jugglin
Come on . . . who doesn’t know juggling?you know . . . those kind of things clowns throw and catch at the circuses, throwing 2 till 4 objects, catching and throwing them simultaneously in a steady rhythm. Such entertaining feat at the circuses, little known by us, is somethin, we humans, often long for in our life?
You meab we long for throw and catching items like what those clowns do???nope2 . . . nai2 . . tidak2 . . .it’s not bout the throwing, but it’s all about how we can handling various things in life in a steady rhythm, without having to break any one of what we handle. Jeeezzz...sure sounds tough eh?
Basically, its all bout multitasking. One simple word that sounds easy, but in reality, even the smartest people have a bloody hard time in dealing with this. The ability to take care, handle and think at the same time on all sorts of things in life, One would really wonder, what does it take to be able to juggle all mundane aspects in life?Is there any cheat on being able to synchronize our life?
It’s not all bout the brain . . . but does it need heart?Who knows?Even I’m pondering the answer till this very second. But one thing I feel, its as if we always need someone and or somethin to be precise, to constantly remind us, of what has to be shifted, back and forth, to get our life in shape.
That certain something . . . or someone, is the very fact that we humans, cannot live by ourselves. Our weak and mundane existence shall always call for a reminder, so we know that there are things that we need to take care of and not just think of ourselves.
Its the very harmony of ones self and other to be able to juggle all the things we face in life. Be it seen or not, one must be ready to face all things together . . .
You meab we long for throw and catching items like what those clowns do???nope2 . . . nai2 . . tidak2 . . .it’s not bout the throwing, but it’s all about how we can handling various things in life in a steady rhythm, without having to break any one of what we handle. Jeeezzz...sure sounds tough eh?
Basically, its all bout multitasking. One simple word that sounds easy, but in reality, even the smartest people have a bloody hard time in dealing with this. The ability to take care, handle and think at the same time on all sorts of things in life, One would really wonder, what does it take to be able to juggle all mundane aspects in life?Is there any cheat on being able to synchronize our life?
It’s not all bout the brain . . . but does it need heart?Who knows?Even I’m pondering the answer till this very second. But one thing I feel, its as if we always need someone and or somethin to be precise, to constantly remind us, of what has to be shifted, back and forth, to get our life in shape.
That certain something . . . or someone, is the very fact that we humans, cannot live by ourselves. Our weak and mundane existence shall always call for a reminder, so we know that there are things that we need to take care of and not just think of ourselves.
Its the very harmony of ones self and other to be able to juggle all the things we face in life. Be it seen or not, one must be ready to face all things together . . .
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Memelihara Nikmat Terbaik
Always . . . repeating as it does . . yet I seem to fail to learn and stand up again . . . this condition surely shows my ineptness and disregard to live up and guard my health . . . one things that has been constantly laggin my daily activities.
I’ve really wondered what keeps me behind in terms of health and stamina. Memory brings me back to around my high school days. It seems that I always get a streak of common cold every once a year. Things go worse for me on my college years. My bronchitis suddenly went on a rampage, striking me even more every year, limping me as I struggle on to keep up with my studies and my body.
I remember, it was around the end of my bachelor times that I finally got he guts to have some time of my own to start of some joggin session. Though it started slow, I managed to pile it up with some body building and more physical sessions. Even though it all seemed to not have an effect to my outer appearance of my body, I felt the subtle change that my stamina did seem to last a bit longer. Little that I realized that I still had to add em up with a better eating diet. But these enlightenment had to wait till my times down under.
Down under, some way or another, I thought I had to do somethin to keep my health top notch. Otherwise, I might be ending myself frequently visiting the health service center and my local drugstore for being occupied by endless sickness. Lucky enough, my schedules and the meals really did support me to have a better physical exercise and diet. Things finally did show results at the end of my first semester, I really did see a physical difference on my body. Furthermore, I also sensed myself being healthier than before, despite having a common cold once that semester.
Then again, what made my physical appearance and health change was the fact that mos of my times were filled up with physical activities, namely my work in the butcher and cycling everywhere wih ma bike. With all this during the next 1,5 years later on, I guess that what made my health pretty much in top notch condition through out my years down under. Add’em up with meals that seem to have lesser fat and more protein, I seem to enjoy myself for being in my prime time.
Anyway, all good things must come to an end. So does my time there. Then again, I didn't have to wait long to get sick soon as I was suddenly struck with a diarrhea days after I landed in Jakarta. Done with that, I thought to keep my body in shape by exercising every day til also fill up my days waiting for a definite job to come. One thing that I noticed, even though I seem to keep up with my exercise regime, my body was slowly gaining weight. I guess thats all coz of the meal intake here in Indo as they obviously are more dense in fat and cholesterol.
With the coming of a definite job, my heart was once again at ease. But then again, it was another start of a roller coaster as I started to maintain my health and start of a binge eating at the training site. Coupled with the lack of proper exercise and spartaneous work loads when deployment came, I finally succumbed to typhoid symptom >.< . The first in the last 3 years, this really stroke me hard. Ever since, I started to think about how I should properly keep up with my health as the workload seem to be never ending spartaneous.
But then, new deployment comes, and there I go . . . back to square one again. This time, I’ve been already struck with double absent ism due to common cold. In terms of the illness, it’s a better thing since its just a common cold compared to the previous. But in terms of health, I’m not progressing. With the upcoming works and deployments still unknown, I’ve gotta start off proving that I don’t seem wimpy and weak. Something must be DONE !!!
Hence, my mind has been pretty much occupied with ideas and concrete brainstorming on how to mitigate such things to happen again. Till now, I’ve come up with some sort of personal doctrine, which involves the need to keep up with my exercise and maintain it with proper supplements as well maintaining a balanced diet. As for supplements, I guess a twice a day intake of honey with be a must, a daily intake of milk and multivtamins at the morning and ginger aile with eucalyptus ointment when nite falls. Most of all, I really gotta start setting myself to do some daily workouts. At first, I guess I’m gonna start of low by walking round the apartment. I’m also thinking to buy a bike, But I guess that’s gonna wait till my monies allow me to do so.
As for now, I’lbetter get myself in goo shape ASAP as I’ve only 1 more day to recover before returning to the hell of office work. Jya ne . . . .
I’ve really wondered what keeps me behind in terms of health and stamina. Memory brings me back to around my high school days. It seems that I always get a streak of common cold every once a year. Things go worse for me on my college years. My bronchitis suddenly went on a rampage, striking me even more every year, limping me as I struggle on to keep up with my studies and my body.
I remember, it was around the end of my bachelor times that I finally got he guts to have some time of my own to start of some joggin session. Though it started slow, I managed to pile it up with some body building and more physical sessions. Even though it all seemed to not have an effect to my outer appearance of my body, I felt the subtle change that my stamina did seem to last a bit longer. Little that I realized that I still had to add em up with a better eating diet. But these enlightenment had to wait till my times down under.
Down under, some way or another, I thought I had to do somethin to keep my health top notch. Otherwise, I might be ending myself frequently visiting the health service center and my local drugstore for being occupied by endless sickness. Lucky enough, my schedules and the meals really did support me to have a better physical exercise and diet. Things finally did show results at the end of my first semester, I really did see a physical difference on my body. Furthermore, I also sensed myself being healthier than before, despite having a common cold once that semester.
Then again, what made my physical appearance and health change was the fact that mos of my times were filled up with physical activities, namely my work in the butcher and cycling everywhere wih ma bike. With all this during the next 1,5 years later on, I guess that what made my health pretty much in top notch condition through out my years down under. Add’em up with meals that seem to have lesser fat and more protein, I seem to enjoy myself for being in my prime time.
Anyway, all good things must come to an end. So does my time there. Then again, I didn't have to wait long to get sick soon as I was suddenly struck with a diarrhea days after I landed in Jakarta. Done with that, I thought to keep my body in shape by exercising every day til also fill up my days waiting for a definite job to come. One thing that I noticed, even though I seem to keep up with my exercise regime, my body was slowly gaining weight. I guess thats all coz of the meal intake here in Indo as they obviously are more dense in fat and cholesterol.
With the coming of a definite job, my heart was once again at ease. But then again, it was another start of a roller coaster as I started to maintain my health and start of a binge eating at the training site. Coupled with the lack of proper exercise and spartaneous work loads when deployment came, I finally succumbed to typhoid symptom >.< . The first in the last 3 years, this really stroke me hard. Ever since, I started to think about how I should properly keep up with my health as the workload seem to be never ending spartaneous.
But then, new deployment comes, and there I go . . . back to square one again. This time, I’ve been already struck with double absent ism due to common cold. In terms of the illness, it’s a better thing since its just a common cold compared to the previous. But in terms of health, I’m not progressing. With the upcoming works and deployments still unknown, I’ve gotta start off proving that I don’t seem wimpy and weak. Something must be DONE !!!
Hence, my mind has been pretty much occupied with ideas and concrete brainstorming on how to mitigate such things to happen again. Till now, I’ve come up with some sort of personal doctrine, which involves the need to keep up with my exercise and maintain it with proper supplements as well maintaining a balanced diet. As for supplements, I guess a twice a day intake of honey with be a must, a daily intake of milk and multivtamins at the morning and ginger aile with eucalyptus ointment when nite falls. Most of all, I really gotta start setting myself to do some daily workouts. At first, I guess I’m gonna start of low by walking round the apartment. I’m also thinking to buy a bike, But I guess that’s gonna wait till my monies allow me to do so.
As for now, I’lbetter get myself in goo shape ASAP as I’ve only 1 more day to recover before returning to the hell of office work. Jya ne . . . .
Sunday, October 03, 2010
Draggin ma feet
Just realized it’s been almost a month since the last time I wrote somethin. My guess was around before Eid. If that’s so then gotta say Happy Eid Mubarak (masih sempet ngga’ ya :P ?). A month . . a whole lot of things have passed . . . its just a few weeks ago . . . but already seemed like a year ago.
I guess I’ll pick up before Eid. The aura in the office was already full of vacation leave. Luckily transactions followed suit around those days, so we were pretty much left with plenty of time to enjoy work. It was also during these times that we finally could go home on time !! :D. As we were meant to go home on 16.30, reality really bites for not able to do so. Thanks to the japs that really make life hard for socializing . . . .
Though it was a happy time that I could finally enjoy my Eid @ home after 2 years doing it abroad, the sensation was already different. I now had to do it in time constraints as collective leave was only given for 5 days. That equates to 4 days to me since I had to go back earlier due to the unluckiness of getting a ticket a day quicker than supposed to be. Though short, I just had to make the best of things, from seeing relatives to my girl.
My free day in Jakarta had to be filled up properly. But the word “properly” still means I have to do some left over home chores. So . . . before lingering round the city alone, some washing & cleaning had to be settled first. Cruising round the city, it sure was pleasant to enjoy the roads of Jakarta when most of its citizens are on leave to their home/ancestral towns. Wished things were always like this . . . .
But work called and there I was back again on my desk. This time, my final week in the FRD. Though things were still slow due to the vacation, I had to patch things up for my upcoming presentation and the transition to the next department. All those rounds of things really left my body kinda low on blood. Literally, I was already starting to drag my body around.
The next week, I was already on the credit service department. And as my previous mentor said, It’s not about the quantity here . . . it’s more on the quality side. The work gets more and more tedious with piles of paper work to finish of each every end of the day. There was almost one day that I even really felt I was literally already drowning inside the papers :-S.
With a shortage of workers and the rising pile of workload due to EoM . . . . . things were really gettin worst. I really made one cancellation and caused another one for my workmate. Not a really good thing to do while I’m still starting to get myself settled in the new dept. But really . . . . . with all those + the lack of proper health and stamina, working lately has really been a bloody struggle for me. Going back home really means just laying my back on the bed as I almost have literally no energy at all to do something worthwhile . . . Life has been degraded to just waiting for weekend to come and catch up with the missed sleep that have passed.
As things would still continue on . . . . with worsen conditions to expect, guess the only thing left is to drag my feet quicker and quicker to catch up with the pace of others . . . . . . . . .
I guess I’ll pick up before Eid. The aura in the office was already full of vacation leave. Luckily transactions followed suit around those days, so we were pretty much left with plenty of time to enjoy work. It was also during these times that we finally could go home on time !! :D. As we were meant to go home on 16.30, reality really bites for not able to do so. Thanks to the japs that really make life hard for socializing . . . .
Though it was a happy time that I could finally enjoy my Eid @ home after 2 years doing it abroad, the sensation was already different. I now had to do it in time constraints as collective leave was only given for 5 days. That equates to 4 days to me since I had to go back earlier due to the unluckiness of getting a ticket a day quicker than supposed to be. Though short, I just had to make the best of things, from seeing relatives to my girl.
My free day in Jakarta had to be filled up properly. But the word “properly” still means I have to do some left over home chores. So . . . before lingering round the city alone, some washing & cleaning had to be settled first. Cruising round the city, it sure was pleasant to enjoy the roads of Jakarta when most of its citizens are on leave to their home/ancestral towns. Wished things were always like this . . . .
But work called and there I was back again on my desk. This time, my final week in the FRD. Though things were still slow due to the vacation, I had to patch things up for my upcoming presentation and the transition to the next department. All those rounds of things really left my body kinda low on blood. Literally, I was already starting to drag my body around.
The next week, I was already on the credit service department. And as my previous mentor said, It’s not about the quantity here . . . it’s more on the quality side. The work gets more and more tedious with piles of paper work to finish of each every end of the day. There was almost one day that I even really felt I was literally already drowning inside the papers :-S.
With a shortage of workers and the rising pile of workload due to EoM . . . . . things were really gettin worst. I really made one cancellation and caused another one for my workmate. Not a really good thing to do while I’m still starting to get myself settled in the new dept. But really . . . . . with all those + the lack of proper health and stamina, working lately has really been a bloody struggle for me. Going back home really means just laying my back on the bed as I almost have literally no energy at all to do something worthwhile . . . Life has been degraded to just waiting for weekend to come and catch up with the missed sleep that have passed.
As things would still continue on . . . . with worsen conditions to expect, guess the only thing left is to drag my feet quicker and quicker to catch up with the pace of others . . . . . . . . .
Sunday, September 05, 2010
I wish . . . . .
I wish…langit jakarta biru cerah tanpa polusi penuh timbal . . . I wish…jalanan jakarta lengang tanpa adanya kemacetan parah yang membuat dir ita di jalan . . . I wish…jakarta tidak sumpek dengan mal yang bikin hidup semakin hedon . . . . I wish…transportasi umum di jakarta punya rute lengkap nan terintegrasi . . . . I wish….jakarta penuh dengan taman tempat keluarga bercengkrama dan bermain secara alami . . . . I wish….jakarta tidak pernah banjir tiap tahunnya palagi 5 tahunan . . . . I wish….I wish….I wish ………
Macet sampe mencreeeettttttttt . . . . .
G tau apa yang bikin aq ngebet banget pengen nulis ini . . . rasanya emang kejengkelanku akan macetnya Jakarta dah sampe ubun. I know bukan aku saja yang ngerasa demikian, I bet there’s millions. But the thing is, does anyone know how to settle such things that even the so called people who think and have the required capability and knowledge do so? Well . . . in this short writing, I’ld like to share a bit of my mind on how to settle the problems of traffic congestions in Jakarta. I know it might not please some people . . . but then . . . it’s worth a try ;)
1. Pemutihan SIM
Kenapa aku berpikir ini adalah hal yang bisa dilakukan adalah karena berangkat dari beberapa fakta bahwa jumlah pengendara bermotor baik roda 2 ataupun 4 sudah sungguh banyak. Dan bagi yang tiap harinya bergelut di jalan raya mengemudikan kendaraannya pasti akan sedikit banyak terheran-heran dan kegeregetan dan tingkah laku dan sikap berkendara dari beberapa jika tidak sebagian besar pengendara yang tidak kenal sopan santun dan etika.
Hal ini aku pikir berangkat dari kesalahan di awal pengurusan SIM yang kalau kita mau jujur mengakui . . . amat sangat mudah untuk didapat. Ayolah . . . mari kita sama2 tidak munafik. Jika kita inget ketika kita mengurus SIM, akan kita dapati betapa mudahnya dan simple syarat yang harus dipenuhi (padahal ini saja masih ngurus sendiri dan engga’ pake calo). Cukup memenuhi syarat administrative dan ujian tertulis . . . nunggu . . . dan voila !! You’ve just got a driving license and ready to roll the streets of Indonesia >:).
But wait . . . masa engga’ ada tes praktek :-/ ??? Theoretically there should be one, namun fakta di lapangan berbicara bahwa hal ini tidak pernah dilakukan oleh polisi yang menguji kita. Bagi mereka, cukuplah mereka tahu bahwa kita bisa dan tahu cara membawa kendaraan secara mendasar. Apakah hal ini cukup? I don’t think so . . . coz it’s not just a matter of able to drive, but also a matter of how to act and behave on the street when driving. And to be honest, i really think most drivers in Indonesia do lack this basic knowledge and ability to behave appropriately and courteously. They might be good drivers in terms of skill but speaking of acting politely? We’re just mere noobs T.T
Karena inilah, saya fikir bahwa perlu diadakan pemutihan SIM untuk menyaring kembali siapa2 saja yang bener2 layak tuk mengemudikan kendaraan dengan kemampuan mendasar mengemudi yang mumpuni sekaligus sopan dan bertata krama. Jika dilakukan, perkiraan pribadiku sih mengatakan g bakal ada 20% dari total pemilik SIM (semua jenis) yang bener2 layak memiliki SIM. Lumayanlah kalo begini, tentu jalanan2 di Indo akan sedikit lebih sepi dan para pengendara lebih sopan di jalan :D.
2. Pembenahan dan penambahan transportasi massal
As for this part, it’s not just about repairing and adding, it’s also about providing mass transportation that suits all kind of people regardless of their class. Jika kita liat fakta yang ada tentang transportasi massal di Indonesia, sebenarnya sudah ada langkah2 perbaikan dan pembenahan (walo mungkin masih bisa dikatakan tambah sulam solusinya >_>). Hanya saja, sepertinya kok yang naik transportasi massal g pernah yang dari golongan “the have” ato para pemakai dasi nan berjas? Padahal golongan2 ini saja di luar negeri sangat mau dan lebih prefer menggunakan transportasi umum daripada menaiki kendaraan pribadi mereka yang cozy.
Ada gerangan apakah . . . hmmmm . . . Well, i think it all has to do with another fact that the public transportation in Indonesia are pretty much lousy and has a low class look to it. Add them up with the condition that they are frequently late and overcrowded; no wonder high class people get an ill feeling to ride them.
That’s one thing, but there are also many subsets of public transportation that needs to be mended. Aspects such as integration of every transportation mode, punctuality, infrastructure building and funding (and all other factors that I might have forgot or mentioned) all play a vital role in enabling a good and suitable public transportation mode to go on track.
3. Law Enforcement
Huehehehe . . . ok . . sapa yang pernah ditawari damai ma polisi ketika kita melakukan pelanggaran? Atau jangan2 kita malah yang ngajak polisi damai :P ? Terlepas siapa mengajak siapa, yang jelas sudah jadi rahasia umum bahwa penegakan hukum untuk pelanggaran lalu lintas di jalan bisa dikatakan masih belum bisa membuat pelanggar2 jera. Seringkali banyak pelanggaran (ok . . . try to list some of them, I’m just tired to do so xP) terjadi di jalanan tapi polisi malah membiarkannya.
Entah karena kurang berani, kurang personel, kurang alat pendukung, atau kurang . . . . yang jelas hal ini masih menjadi salah satu hal pendukung tertibnya lalu lintas yang dirasa masih kurang. Yang ada juga adalah kenyataan bahwa polisi (bersama pemerintah) baru melakukan tindakan nyata setelah terjadi suatu peristiwa yang memakan korban jiwa atau menimbulkan kerusakan umum yang sangat parah. Jika demikian, tampak nyatalah bagaimana reaktifnya aparat polisi kita >.<
Sekedar saran sih . . . alangkah baiknya jika polisi juga terus dan terus mengampanyekan langkah2 preventif meminimalisir pelanggaran sehingga kemacetan dapat dicegah. Unless Indonesian people are already out of their minds, I’m sure the police can play their role in helping threading out traffic congestions ;)
4. Perangkat hukum
Terkait dengan poin sebelumnya diatas . . . perangkat hukum kita juga sepertinya juga masih keteteran tuk memberikan efek jera sekaligus tidak bisa mendukung terciptanya terobosan2 baru dalam terciptanya kelancaran lalu lintas. Entah karena apa ya . . . pemerintah kita kok kesannya lambat nan lelet tuk memberikan paying hukum yang memadai hiks...hiks...hiks... T_T
5. Political goodwill
Menjawab permasalahan poin diatas, nampaklah nyata kenapa pemerintah lelet. G lebih karena kurangnya niat dan keberanian mereka tuk menerapkan hukum yang jelas dan tegas demi terciptanya kondisi lalu lintas yang lancar dan kondusif. Kalopun ada niat baik dari pemerintah . . . lagi2 niat yang ada hanyalah bersifat tambal sulam dan tidak komprehensif menyangkut berbagai aspek yang terkait. Jadinya . . . seringkali beberapa pihak merasa diuntungkan, beberapa yang lain menolak dengan keras . . . beberapa saat kemacetan reda . . . namun beberapa saat kemudian menjadi macet dan tambah paraaaahhh . . . :(
6. Car producers
On this part . . . I’m quite ambivalent to say whether car producers have a role or not in making ou traffic congestion problems worst or not :-?. But, we just cannot deny the fact that Indonesia as one of the largest market for car producers, also contribute to the rising increase in car usage, especially on an individual level. Ditambah lagi dengan semakin dimudahkannya kepemilikan mobil beserta cara pembayarannya, rasanya membeli mobil sekarang dah seperti beli kacang goreng.
Rasanya ini dululah tuk sementara. Aku tahu bahwa isi tulisanku ini masihlah dangkal tuk bener2 menyatakan satu per satu sebab kemacetan. Tapi ya namanya juga isi hati yang jengkel atas kemacetan (terutama di Jakarta) jadinya ya terciptalah notes/blog ini. I bet there are other ingineous minds out there that can help and try to solve one of Indonesia’s worst problems. Feel free to comment ya ;)
1. Pemutihan SIM
Kenapa aku berpikir ini adalah hal yang bisa dilakukan adalah karena berangkat dari beberapa fakta bahwa jumlah pengendara bermotor baik roda 2 ataupun 4 sudah sungguh banyak. Dan bagi yang tiap harinya bergelut di jalan raya mengemudikan kendaraannya pasti akan sedikit banyak terheran-heran dan kegeregetan dan tingkah laku dan sikap berkendara dari beberapa jika tidak sebagian besar pengendara yang tidak kenal sopan santun dan etika.
Hal ini aku pikir berangkat dari kesalahan di awal pengurusan SIM yang kalau kita mau jujur mengakui . . . amat sangat mudah untuk didapat. Ayolah . . . mari kita sama2 tidak munafik. Jika kita inget ketika kita mengurus SIM, akan kita dapati betapa mudahnya dan simple syarat yang harus dipenuhi (padahal ini saja masih ngurus sendiri dan engga’ pake calo). Cukup memenuhi syarat administrative dan ujian tertulis . . . nunggu . . . dan voila !! You’ve just got a driving license and ready to roll the streets of Indonesia >:).
But wait . . . masa engga’ ada tes praktek :-/ ??? Theoretically there should be one, namun fakta di lapangan berbicara bahwa hal ini tidak pernah dilakukan oleh polisi yang menguji kita. Bagi mereka, cukuplah mereka tahu bahwa kita bisa dan tahu cara membawa kendaraan secara mendasar. Apakah hal ini cukup? I don’t think so . . . coz it’s not just a matter of able to drive, but also a matter of how to act and behave on the street when driving. And to be honest, i really think most drivers in Indonesia do lack this basic knowledge and ability to behave appropriately and courteously. They might be good drivers in terms of skill but speaking of acting politely? We’re just mere noobs T.T
Karena inilah, saya fikir bahwa perlu diadakan pemutihan SIM untuk menyaring kembali siapa2 saja yang bener2 layak tuk mengemudikan kendaraan dengan kemampuan mendasar mengemudi yang mumpuni sekaligus sopan dan bertata krama. Jika dilakukan, perkiraan pribadiku sih mengatakan g bakal ada 20% dari total pemilik SIM (semua jenis) yang bener2 layak memiliki SIM. Lumayanlah kalo begini, tentu jalanan2 di Indo akan sedikit lebih sepi dan para pengendara lebih sopan di jalan :D.
2. Pembenahan dan penambahan transportasi massal
As for this part, it’s not just about repairing and adding, it’s also about providing mass transportation that suits all kind of people regardless of their class. Jika kita liat fakta yang ada tentang transportasi massal di Indonesia, sebenarnya sudah ada langkah2 perbaikan dan pembenahan (walo mungkin masih bisa dikatakan tambah sulam solusinya >_>). Hanya saja, sepertinya kok yang naik transportasi massal g pernah yang dari golongan “the have” ato para pemakai dasi nan berjas? Padahal golongan2 ini saja di luar negeri sangat mau dan lebih prefer menggunakan transportasi umum daripada menaiki kendaraan pribadi mereka yang cozy.
Ada gerangan apakah . . . hmmmm . . . Well, i think it all has to do with another fact that the public transportation in Indonesia are pretty much lousy and has a low class look to it. Add them up with the condition that they are frequently late and overcrowded; no wonder high class people get an ill feeling to ride them.
That’s one thing, but there are also many subsets of public transportation that needs to be mended. Aspects such as integration of every transportation mode, punctuality, infrastructure building and funding (and all other factors that I might have forgot or mentioned) all play a vital role in enabling a good and suitable public transportation mode to go on track.
3. Law Enforcement
Huehehehe . . . ok . . sapa yang pernah ditawari damai ma polisi ketika kita melakukan pelanggaran? Atau jangan2 kita malah yang ngajak polisi damai :P ? Terlepas siapa mengajak siapa, yang jelas sudah jadi rahasia umum bahwa penegakan hukum untuk pelanggaran lalu lintas di jalan bisa dikatakan masih belum bisa membuat pelanggar2 jera. Seringkali banyak pelanggaran (ok . . . try to list some of them, I’m just tired to do so xP) terjadi di jalanan tapi polisi malah membiarkannya.
Entah karena kurang berani, kurang personel, kurang alat pendukung, atau kurang . . . . yang jelas hal ini masih menjadi salah satu hal pendukung tertibnya lalu lintas yang dirasa masih kurang. Yang ada juga adalah kenyataan bahwa polisi (bersama pemerintah) baru melakukan tindakan nyata setelah terjadi suatu peristiwa yang memakan korban jiwa atau menimbulkan kerusakan umum yang sangat parah. Jika demikian, tampak nyatalah bagaimana reaktifnya aparat polisi kita >.<
Sekedar saran sih . . . alangkah baiknya jika polisi juga terus dan terus mengampanyekan langkah2 preventif meminimalisir pelanggaran sehingga kemacetan dapat dicegah. Unless Indonesian people are already out of their minds, I’m sure the police can play their role in helping threading out traffic congestions ;)
4. Perangkat hukum
Terkait dengan poin sebelumnya diatas . . . perangkat hukum kita juga sepertinya juga masih keteteran tuk memberikan efek jera sekaligus tidak bisa mendukung terciptanya terobosan2 baru dalam terciptanya kelancaran lalu lintas. Entah karena apa ya . . . pemerintah kita kok kesannya lambat nan lelet tuk memberikan paying hukum yang memadai hiks...hiks...hiks... T_T
5. Political goodwill
Menjawab permasalahan poin diatas, nampaklah nyata kenapa pemerintah lelet. G lebih karena kurangnya niat dan keberanian mereka tuk menerapkan hukum yang jelas dan tegas demi terciptanya kondisi lalu lintas yang lancar dan kondusif. Kalopun ada niat baik dari pemerintah . . . lagi2 niat yang ada hanyalah bersifat tambal sulam dan tidak komprehensif menyangkut berbagai aspek yang terkait. Jadinya . . . seringkali beberapa pihak merasa diuntungkan, beberapa yang lain menolak dengan keras . . . beberapa saat kemacetan reda . . . namun beberapa saat kemudian menjadi macet dan tambah paraaaahhh . . . :(
6. Car producers
On this part . . . I’m quite ambivalent to say whether car producers have a role or not in making ou traffic congestion problems worst or not :-?. But, we just cannot deny the fact that Indonesia as one of the largest market for car producers, also contribute to the rising increase in car usage, especially on an individual level. Ditambah lagi dengan semakin dimudahkannya kepemilikan mobil beserta cara pembayarannya, rasanya membeli mobil sekarang dah seperti beli kacang goreng.
Rasanya ini dululah tuk sementara. Aku tahu bahwa isi tulisanku ini masihlah dangkal tuk bener2 menyatakan satu per satu sebab kemacetan. Tapi ya namanya juga isi hati yang jengkel atas kemacetan (terutama di Jakarta) jadinya ya terciptalah notes/blog ini. I bet there are other ingineous minds out there that can help and try to solve one of Indonesia’s worst problems. Feel free to comment ya ;)
Music Memories (Part 2)
1. Sparkling
One thing that always caughts me when listening to this song is how I first started to gain my own money by working part time as a butcher. In the midst of studying hard, this moment was a breakthrough to me as it challenged myself to do better and more. It also reminded me of the times when I had the spark of attraction to the opposite after quite some while.
2. My Heart Draws A Dream
Masa ketika sedang nganggur2nya setelah usai kuliah S1 . . . yang aku inget pasti bahwa ni lagu kluar pas ketika bulan ramadhan, ketika aku, adhi n nandar mari cangkruk’an ning mc D bengi2 :P. Yang pasti, ni lagu juga semakin membuat niatku kukuh tuk menjalani S2 di ozzy beberapa bulan usai ini
3. Eien
One klip from BoA yang akhirnya menampilkan dansa yang cukup rumit bagiku. Keluar di awal bulan februari 2009, entah kenapa liriknya ketika itu bener2 mencerminkan kegalauan hatiku atas suatu hal yang tidak bisa kucapai. But now . . . it’s really just about the dances that inspires me and how that memory led on to a whole new eternity for me now ;)
One thing that always caughts me when listening to this song is how I first started to gain my own money by working part time as a butcher. In the midst of studying hard, this moment was a breakthrough to me as it challenged myself to do better and more. It also reminded me of the times when I had the spark of attraction to the opposite after quite some while.
2. My Heart Draws A Dream
Masa ketika sedang nganggur2nya setelah usai kuliah S1 . . . yang aku inget pasti bahwa ni lagu kluar pas ketika bulan ramadhan, ketika aku, adhi n nandar mari cangkruk’an ning mc D bengi2 :P. Yang pasti, ni lagu juga semakin membuat niatku kukuh tuk menjalani S2 di ozzy beberapa bulan usai ini
3. Eien
One klip from BoA yang akhirnya menampilkan dansa yang cukup rumit bagiku. Keluar di awal bulan februari 2009, entah kenapa liriknya ketika itu bener2 mencerminkan kegalauan hatiku atas suatu hal yang tidak bisa kucapai. But now . . . it’s really just about the dances that inspires me and how that memory led on to a whole new eternity for me now ;)
MY 5 BEST GUNDAM MECHA’S
1. WING ZERO CUSTOM (XXXG - 00W0)
This mecha is nothing short of one word . . . BADASS!! And it really does live up to its name. The ability to bust up one space colony makes it pretty much overpowered. But that’s why I like it soooooo much :D. Not to mention its angel like wings make it a perfect gundam who can whip up the enemy frontline with a angelic look but devastating result :)). Too bad, the story of this mecha didn’t live long. But its legacy as one of the strongest gundam’s live on ;).
2. HI NU GUNDAM (RX-93-2)
This cool gundam could count as one of the best out there. It even inspired the making of Strike Freedom for the SEED series. With the best newtype pilot out there, it sure had a name for it self. The only shortback is that this mecha never really made it to the animation line as it was only depicted in the novel. Nevertheless, even thru the writing itself we can know the sheer power and ability of what this gundam can do >:).
3. 00 RAISER GUNDAM (GN-0000+0 RAISER)
I’ld say the series itself was a breakthrough in terms of story and design. Though it ended up not as what the series started in a hype as expected, this series to me rolled out one of the best designs and gundam to date. With all the techs and specs in it, it surely turned out to be one devastating weapon for a lad who turned out to be the first pure innovator. This in the end abled the mecha to unleash its full potential in battle. I’m hoping how it’s successor the 00 Qan[T] would carry on this mecha’s legacy :-?.
4. ZETA GUNDAM (MSZ-006)
Ok . . . . this might not be one of the strongest out there in terms of strength and firepower. But why I chose this was because this mecha is a breakthrough !! The first transformable gundam led to a huge series of transformable lines later on. In other words . . . its sort of a gran pa for the transforming gundams :D.
5. UNICORN GUNDAM (RX-0)
What took my attention of this gundam is its hidden mode underneath its skin. Though I’ve yet to see what this mecha can do more in the upcoming OVA’s, I’m already pretty much impressed by its design and potential strength that it poses due to the NT System it boasts. One last thing . . . it’s finally a UC mecha! The first one after ages . . . really an oldschool one :D.
This mecha is nothing short of one word . . . BADASS!! And it really does live up to its name. The ability to bust up one space colony makes it pretty much overpowered. But that’s why I like it soooooo much :D. Not to mention its angel like wings make it a perfect gundam who can whip up the enemy frontline with a angelic look but devastating result :)). Too bad, the story of this mecha didn’t live long. But its legacy as one of the strongest gundam’s live on ;).
2. HI NU GUNDAM (RX-93-2)
This cool gundam could count as one of the best out there. It even inspired the making of Strike Freedom for the SEED series. With the best newtype pilot out there, it sure had a name for it self. The only shortback is that this mecha never really made it to the animation line as it was only depicted in the novel. Nevertheless, even thru the writing itself we can know the sheer power and ability of what this gundam can do >:).
3. 00 RAISER GUNDAM (GN-0000+0 RAISER)
I’ld say the series itself was a breakthrough in terms of story and design. Though it ended up not as what the series started in a hype as expected, this series to me rolled out one of the best designs and gundam to date. With all the techs and specs in it, it surely turned out to be one devastating weapon for a lad who turned out to be the first pure innovator. This in the end abled the mecha to unleash its full potential in battle. I’m hoping how it’s successor the 00 Qan[T] would carry on this mecha’s legacy :-?.
4. ZETA GUNDAM (MSZ-006)
Ok . . . . this might not be one of the strongest out there in terms of strength and firepower. But why I chose this was because this mecha is a breakthrough !! The first transformable gundam led to a huge series of transformable lines later on. In other words . . . its sort of a gran pa for the transforming gundams :D.
5. UNICORN GUNDAM (RX-0)
What took my attention of this gundam is its hidden mode underneath its skin. Though I’ve yet to see what this mecha can do more in the upcoming OVA’s, I’m already pretty much impressed by its design and potential strength that it poses due to the NT System it boasts. One last thing . . . it’s finally a UC mecha! The first one after ages . . . really an oldschool one :D.
The sky is your limit . . .
A really hard month . . . one tough month to be precise. Even though had my birthday at this month, it turned out to be one bloody and messy month in the end. Not to mention all these came during the holy month of Ramadhan (1st one in Indo after 2 years :D ). Hence, I felt that I’ve been pushed to the limits by the heavens both physically and mentally.
After novusland, more work was awaiting us. It wasn’t long after this that I got transferred to another unit within my ongoing department. As things looked easy before, things turned out hellish for the next couple of weeks. A series of faults, mistakes and errors in my work raised an alarm from other co-workers. This caused myself to be under scrutiny for my ability to do things correctly and timely.
It wasn’t bout work solely that made me into this. A volley of of work stuffs like preparing the TRP ifthtar, relationship quarrels and the decrease in body fitness and stamina added up to all the mess. On a physical side, I’ve already lost a whopping 6 kg in a mere 3 weeks (still counting) during fasting. Not to mention losing a couple of mL’s of blood due to frequent nosebleeds. Mentally? bloody tired and drained would be two words to help describe my condition.
When I thought all hell would be unleashed at me during this holy month, I then realized, it is at this very moments that my patience, firmness and consciousness is put to the ultimate test. I might be able to say such things rite now since the storm that I’ve been going thru has pretty much weathered away. But if I look back 3 weeks ago . . . damn . . . things were so low and poor for me. I even failed to think properly and calmly due to all the hectic and mess caused.
But what really caused me to do so? Ineptness to listen and implement given solutions would be one cause. My nature of listening things first while needing to internalize it later on seemed to not work and be accepted in the work place at they demanded quick and thorough response. And that gave me one punch. One more things was the lacking of anger and emotion venting for myself. It might sound stupid, but the ongoing pile of stress and workload also forced me for the need to vent out all negative excess emotions in myself in good and healthy manner . . . which I was obviously low on . . . . T_T
Therefore, with the slightest will to settle things, I embarked on a 2 day therapy session with my sweet psychologist to help me weather things up. In some ways it work but id does need more practice and patience. Another things is to keep my ears and heart open to new and constant critic from anyone. It’s not like my ability to mess things up was given in the first place, it was just about how I haven’t harnessed my potentials and even ended up neglecting myself.
Speaking of potentials, a small chat with my work mentor gave a little bit of flashback on how I’ve been neglecting my potentials and leaving them away unharnessed. When she asked how I would put my right and left arm together, she said that my position ended up with myself as someone who has high potentials in art . . . ART???? AAARRRTTTTTT???? Huahahahahaha . . . . . seriously . . . I was laughing in my heart when I heard this. Why coz I really do suck in this area. Even though I did learn the piano and painting when I was young, it never ever did any result nor caught my firm passion. Even if there was one art that I really put my passion to was martial arts.
However, things gave a turn when I told this to my mentor. She said that all my experiences were a waste since they had to stop at such early levels. I do admit so. And then she continued on that even such experience shows that I do have the potential to excel in arts. I just have to put more time, effort and passion in learning to do so. It’s such a waste to not let my experience continue on in these areas as all I needed was a little more effort and practice. Well . . well . . .well . . . that was one life lecture that really hit me. And I have to be honest that she was right on the spot.
With this, I was then left wondering, have I been neglecting a whole lot of things in my life where I actually could have been good at? Have I not given my 100% in all areas of my life?If the sky is my limit . . . than what means must I take to reach the sky??
PS : Why do I wonder that I end up with more and more answers :P
After novusland, more work was awaiting us. It wasn’t long after this that I got transferred to another unit within my ongoing department. As things looked easy before, things turned out hellish for the next couple of weeks. A series of faults, mistakes and errors in my work raised an alarm from other co-workers. This caused myself to be under scrutiny for my ability to do things correctly and timely.
It wasn’t bout work solely that made me into this. A volley of of work stuffs like preparing the TRP ifthtar, relationship quarrels and the decrease in body fitness and stamina added up to all the mess. On a physical side, I’ve already lost a whopping 6 kg in a mere 3 weeks (still counting) during fasting. Not to mention losing a couple of mL’s of blood due to frequent nosebleeds. Mentally? bloody tired and drained would be two words to help describe my condition.
When I thought all hell would be unleashed at me during this holy month, I then realized, it is at this very moments that my patience, firmness and consciousness is put to the ultimate test. I might be able to say such things rite now since the storm that I’ve been going thru has pretty much weathered away. But if I look back 3 weeks ago . . . damn . . . things were so low and poor for me. I even failed to think properly and calmly due to all the hectic and mess caused.
But what really caused me to do so? Ineptness to listen and implement given solutions would be one cause. My nature of listening things first while needing to internalize it later on seemed to not work and be accepted in the work place at they demanded quick and thorough response. And that gave me one punch. One more things was the lacking of anger and emotion venting for myself. It might sound stupid, but the ongoing pile of stress and workload also forced me for the need to vent out all negative excess emotions in myself in good and healthy manner . . . which I was obviously low on . . . . T_T
Therefore, with the slightest will to settle things, I embarked on a 2 day therapy session with my sweet psychologist to help me weather things up. In some ways it work but id does need more practice and patience. Another things is to keep my ears and heart open to new and constant critic from anyone. It’s not like my ability to mess things up was given in the first place, it was just about how I haven’t harnessed my potentials and even ended up neglecting myself.
Speaking of potentials, a small chat with my work mentor gave a little bit of flashback on how I’ve been neglecting my potentials and leaving them away unharnessed. When she asked how I would put my right and left arm together, she said that my position ended up with myself as someone who has high potentials in art . . . ART???? AAARRRTTTTTT???? Huahahahahaha . . . . . seriously . . . I was laughing in my heart when I heard this. Why coz I really do suck in this area. Even though I did learn the piano and painting when I was young, it never ever did any result nor caught my firm passion. Even if there was one art that I really put my passion to was martial arts.
However, things gave a turn when I told this to my mentor. She said that all my experiences were a waste since they had to stop at such early levels. I do admit so. And then she continued on that even such experience shows that I do have the potential to excel in arts. I just have to put more time, effort and passion in learning to do so. It’s such a waste to not let my experience continue on in these areas as all I needed was a little more effort and practice. Well . . well . . .well . . . that was one life lecture that really hit me. And I have to be honest that she was right on the spot.
With this, I was then left wondering, have I been neglecting a whole lot of things in my life where I actually could have been good at? Have I not given my 100% in all areas of my life?If the sky is my limit . . . than what means must I take to reach the sky??
PS : Why do I wonder that I end up with more and more answers :P
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Learning . . . . BREEEAAAAKKKKK !!!!
AAaaarrrrgghhhhh . . . patah seakan patah beneran . . . the visit back to novus back was somehow .......errrrrrrrrrrrrr . . . emotionally drainful. With the hopes of simply rejuvenating myself . . . i guess i had put too much hopes on this visit.
I don’t know why at first . . . but slowly as the days past, i couldn’t deny the feeling that there was something wrong with me. It slowly started as a subtle sign of loneliness . . . withdrawal and tiredness. But i guess it took me almost the whole journey there to finally understand whats lingering inside me.
Side effects anyone?surely there was . . . and it almost came out really nasty as I felt the urge to suddenly punch someone in the face or even take a cigarette. Luckily neither was done, but those signs finally gave me the kickback that there was definitely something bad on me. And I had to do something soon at least to not let someone else hurt.
Why it happen. If u ask for a root, then i guess i’m kinda feelin fed up with all the routines around me. As u know from previous blogs, having “my” time lately has been really hard. Your life has been like a piece of cake, being sliced and given to other people leaving only nothing or at least a small portion for yourself. Good thing for others as they get to know u more, but for me . . . hmmppfff . . . can’t really say anything.
What can I say now is that I wanna keep a distance from the others for the moment, try to find back my lost soul and preserving what’s left of my sanity. One thing is for sure, the learning break did manage to break my mind into pieces. Good thing for me, it did kinda leave my head in a somewhat fragmented brain, making me into some kind of limbo. Gotta get back to my reality as life is to short to keep myself occupied in my breakness . . . .
I don’t know why at first . . . but slowly as the days past, i couldn’t deny the feeling that there was something wrong with me. It slowly started as a subtle sign of loneliness . . . withdrawal and tiredness. But i guess it took me almost the whole journey there to finally understand whats lingering inside me.
Side effects anyone?surely there was . . . and it almost came out really nasty as I felt the urge to suddenly punch someone in the face or even take a cigarette. Luckily neither was done, but those signs finally gave me the kickback that there was definitely something bad on me. And I had to do something soon at least to not let someone else hurt.
Why it happen. If u ask for a root, then i guess i’m kinda feelin fed up with all the routines around me. As u know from previous blogs, having “my” time lately has been really hard. Your life has been like a piece of cake, being sliced and given to other people leaving only nothing or at least a small portion for yourself. Good thing for others as they get to know u more, but for me . . . hmmppfff . . . can’t really say anything.
What can I say now is that I wanna keep a distance from the others for the moment, try to find back my lost soul and preserving what’s left of my sanity. One thing is for sure, the learning break did manage to break my mind into pieces. Good thing for me, it did kinda leave my head in a somewhat fragmented brain, making me into some kind of limbo. Gotta get back to my reality as life is to short to keep myself occupied in my breakness . . . .
Taking a toll. . .
Darn . . . tanpa kuduga kerja ini pada akhirnya membawa dampak yang tidak kusangka . . . gejala tipes ringan yang pada akhirnya memaksaku tuk istirahat 2 hari. Gara2 aku juga sih g segera memeriksakan batukku ke dokter seusai dari Novus. Jadinya kaya gini deh . . . Sekarang sih dah mendingan. But really, i need to boost my stamina as other busy things are waiting me to do.
Kerjapun demikian, semakin hari semakin memuncak kesibukannya. Dan hal ini jujur saja membuat diri ini terlena dan melupakan hal2 lain yang justru membuatkan sadar tuk kembali menapakkan kaki ke bumi. Things like reading . . . watching movies alone and writing has really been a luxurious thing for me to do lately. Such things that keeps my sanity in place is now being slowly eroded from the palm of my hands. It seems the next couple of weeks would be my struggle to take and fight back slowly my precious activities. If not, I might not end up not being myself. Just a mere self in a soulless fleshed container being a puppet of the surroundings.
And now with the BSMR gone, I’d really like to start do so. Try to find back my rhythm. Like it or not, it seems solitude has really been my best companion in one way or another as it is thru solitariness that I can gain a peace of mind of things thats strangles me. But then . . . this to . . . is one of the most things that is being taken away from me . . .
Alon alon asal kelakon . . . better i thing rather than taking a toll but it would just hurt me in the end . . .
Kerjapun demikian, semakin hari semakin memuncak kesibukannya. Dan hal ini jujur saja membuat diri ini terlena dan melupakan hal2 lain yang justru membuatkan sadar tuk kembali menapakkan kaki ke bumi. Things like reading . . . watching movies alone and writing has really been a luxurious thing for me to do lately. Such things that keeps my sanity in place is now being slowly eroded from the palm of my hands. It seems the next couple of weeks would be my struggle to take and fight back slowly my precious activities. If not, I might not end up not being myself. Just a mere self in a soulless fleshed container being a puppet of the surroundings.
And now with the BSMR gone, I’d really like to start do so. Try to find back my rhythm. Like it or not, it seems solitude has really been my best companion in one way or another as it is thru solitariness that I can gain a peace of mind of things thats strangles me. But then . . . this to . . . is one of the most things that is being taken away from me . . .
Alon alon asal kelakon . . . better i thing rather than taking a toll but it would just hurt me in the end . . .
Now . . . .
I can't stop melting from your kisses
I can't be mute when you're speaking
I can't stop longing for your hugs
I can't be blind upon your looks
but most of all . . .
I cannot deny on your gracefulness :)
I can't be mute when you're speaking
I can't stop longing for your hugs
I can't be blind upon your looks
but most of all . . .
I cannot deny on your gracefulness :)
Sunday, July 04, 2010
Then . . . .
Dear . . . did you ever realize how lucky I am? For knowing and getting to know you . . .
For once ago . . . just seeing your photo was just ordinary . . . and now it feels so extraordinary
On hearing your name was then normal, now . . . it has made me above normal
As then I was hard ice . . . now I slowly melt upon you
And how you change me from extreme to modesty
And now . . . .
For once ago . . . just seeing your photo was just ordinary . . . and now it feels so extraordinary
On hearing your name was then normal, now . . . it has made me above normal
As then I was hard ice . . . now I slowly melt upon you
And how you change me from extreme to modesty
And now . . . .
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Music Memories (Part 1)
When i go thru the playlist of my iPod, same as it may be over the times, it always delivers the moments and images of life’s history. Reliving and reminiscing . . . I’ll slowly start a list of what says what ;)
1. Jojoshi . . . one of laruku’s best ballad 4 me ;). What’s special from this ballad is the sheer feeling of serenity and flowing passion of love. It brings me back on my bachelor days, still young and naive and at the very start of listening to larc’s song. I was damn intrigued by the lyrics which I knew was romantic and lyricfull. The sense of everlasting care despite the changing seasons
2. Nanairo no Ashita~brand new beat . . . One of BoA’s songs that has the best dances. It reminds me of my time of slumber and finding of meaning in the early 2006s. With its cheerful lyrics and dances, it was able to inspire me through the times of lonliness back then.
3. No.1 . . . the one song from BoA that really hooked me up. Started from a mere coincidence of helping my brotha . . . it was me who in fact got mesmerized by the upbeat and flowing color of this song. Addig the PV, it really left itself in my playlist and to always remind me of letting someone to be always my No.1 ;)
4. When You Say Nothing At All . . . a song from my early high school times. The thought of this song back then was how letting the sense of silence with our loved ones enabled the progress of even better understanding each other. You don’t have to talk too much, just let your hearts to listen to each other and feel how serenity can help heal and bond.
5. Drink It Down . . . one of the rockiest songs I’ve heard till now . . . still....courtesy of larc. It gave me the thought of hitting everything in my way back then when I was still putting my foundation on studies in Perth. To drink down every suffer, pain and discontent, that lead me to focus my thoughts on study which Alhamdulillah succeeded.
That’ll be all for now. I’ll be sure to make a continuation of this as there ae plenty more to write down to. Jya ne ;)
1. Jojoshi . . . one of laruku’s best ballad 4 me ;). What’s special from this ballad is the sheer feeling of serenity and flowing passion of love. It brings me back on my bachelor days, still young and naive and at the very start of listening to larc’s song. I was damn intrigued by the lyrics which I knew was romantic and lyricfull. The sense of everlasting care despite the changing seasons
2. Nanairo no Ashita~brand new beat . . . One of BoA’s songs that has the best dances. It reminds me of my time of slumber and finding of meaning in the early 2006s. With its cheerful lyrics and dances, it was able to inspire me through the times of lonliness back then.
3. No.1 . . . the one song from BoA that really hooked me up. Started from a mere coincidence of helping my brotha . . . it was me who in fact got mesmerized by the upbeat and flowing color of this song. Addig the PV, it really left itself in my playlist and to always remind me of letting someone to be always my No.1 ;)
4. When You Say Nothing At All . . . a song from my early high school times. The thought of this song back then was how letting the sense of silence with our loved ones enabled the progress of even better understanding each other. You don’t have to talk too much, just let your hearts to listen to each other and feel how serenity can help heal and bond.
5. Drink It Down . . . one of the rockiest songs I’ve heard till now . . . still....courtesy of larc. It gave me the thought of hitting everything in my way back then when I was still putting my foundation on studies in Perth. To drink down every suffer, pain and discontent, that lead me to focus my thoughts on study which Alhamdulillah succeeded.
That’ll be all for now. I’ll be sure to make a continuation of this as there ae plenty more to write down to. Jya ne ;)
Monday, June 07, 2010
Young Dreams
Ever remember what you wanted to be when you were a child? Those young and cheerful days where you would just sprout out innocent wishes of we would like to be once grown up. The endless imagination and hopes of a certain someone and something to become. And yet, once grown up, have we yet bothered to look back and see what we yearned of back in those youthful days?
For such thing personally, it just gives me the smiles and giggles on what happened back then. It certainly was a time that all our wants were based on what we liked and mostly exposed to back then. The earliest thing that I could remember was wanting to be an astronaut :D. Why such the lavish yet almost impossible feat that even an Indonesian couldn’t achieve until now? I guess it was all due to my fascination of space and all its celestial objects that prompted me to dream of being the certain person to be able to see them directly in the space up there in the sky.
Upon this dream, I guess the closest step for me was when I went to the Kennedy Space Center in Florida way back then when I was a kid around 1991-1992. The sheer excitement to come and see for yourself, how all the well known gadgets and instruments on space exploration were put to exhibit in that place. It really put me in a surreal feeling as if your one of those people that really did go up in space.
And as you grow up upon the years, things changes and dreams also follow forth. My next things to be was pretty much simple . . . to be a postman :P. After the highs, now all I wanted to be was way down in the earths. Again . . . naze? This one was just merely because at that time I was infuriated with philately aKa stamp collecting. My simple thought was if I would be working as a post officer, I would get easy access to stamps anywhere and everywhere :)). Pretty lame reason but hey, It’s just a memory to be remembered. In terms of a hobby, I also would think that this hobby is one of the ones I’ve maintain for quite some time before letting it go for something else. I also sometimes feel the tickle in myself to come back and mingle again with those objects even until now since it really leaves me the sense of nostalgic when I reminisce back on hunting and collecting new and old stamps ;)).
After this point onwards, I guess it was a period of void and vacancy of hobbies and dreams. The need of pragmatism and daily I think crumbled my dreams to be something. Even when I still wanted one to be, It would have to be something more realistic and achievable in my state as I grew older. I guess that’s one phase that would eventually happen to someone once you age and reach the step of maturity. Innocent dreams change to pragmatic and often dull wishes, leaving out the youthful passion of something happy to become. If this is the case, one would wonder why such thing often happens to ones life.
As far as I would be concerned, it might be the constant exposure to the cruel reality outside, how you would face them yet struggling to maintain the innocence of ones dream. Such thing wouldn’t be an easy journey as life is cruel and would eat up your very virtue on something. I too have experienced it. It might sound sad doing so, but never I have regretted the process as I believed it was something that would lead myself to something newer too. Personally, it was just a matter of letting things flow. The only thing that changed was the fact that I slowly realized that . . . my life was almost left dreamless, living as a drone that was told to be.
Stop for a while, look back and start envisioning the future that was something that I had to do sooner or later I thought, and honestly, it wasn’t an easy, not to say a pleasant process. I had to compromise most of the things I’ve gone through and yet, keeping myself to be let astray by this world. When did this happen, I guess sometime in the midst of Perthian lands just a couple of years ago. Needless to say, I have to be grateful for this process, since it has enlightened and matured me to some extent. It was from this point onwards that I finally realized the places that I can be and could go. If I look back at my past standards, it wouldn’t be one fulfilling thing, but rest assured, I still believe it would be something that lead me to something I would finally yearn and proud of. The humble desire to just come back to earth and submit yourself towards the modest dream of devoting life to religiousness. Upon this final dream, all I can say is Amin Ya Allah Ya Rabb. It might now match to what I’m coming to become, but that’s the only innocence inside me that’s left to keep and dream of . . .
For such thing personally, it just gives me the smiles and giggles on what happened back then. It certainly was a time that all our wants were based on what we liked and mostly exposed to back then. The earliest thing that I could remember was wanting to be an astronaut :D. Why such the lavish yet almost impossible feat that even an Indonesian couldn’t achieve until now? I guess it was all due to my fascination of space and all its celestial objects that prompted me to dream of being the certain person to be able to see them directly in the space up there in the sky.
Upon this dream, I guess the closest step for me was when I went to the Kennedy Space Center in Florida way back then when I was a kid around 1991-1992. The sheer excitement to come and see for yourself, how all the well known gadgets and instruments on space exploration were put to exhibit in that place. It really put me in a surreal feeling as if your one of those people that really did go up in space.
And as you grow up upon the years, things changes and dreams also follow forth. My next things to be was pretty much simple . . . to be a postman :P. After the highs, now all I wanted to be was way down in the earths. Again . . . naze? This one was just merely because at that time I was infuriated with philately aKa stamp collecting. My simple thought was if I would be working as a post officer, I would get easy access to stamps anywhere and everywhere :)). Pretty lame reason but hey, It’s just a memory to be remembered. In terms of a hobby, I also would think that this hobby is one of the ones I’ve maintain for quite some time before letting it go for something else. I also sometimes feel the tickle in myself to come back and mingle again with those objects even until now since it really leaves me the sense of nostalgic when I reminisce back on hunting and collecting new and old stamps ;)).
After this point onwards, I guess it was a period of void and vacancy of hobbies and dreams. The need of pragmatism and daily I think crumbled my dreams to be something. Even when I still wanted one to be, It would have to be something more realistic and achievable in my state as I grew older. I guess that’s one phase that would eventually happen to someone once you age and reach the step of maturity. Innocent dreams change to pragmatic and often dull wishes, leaving out the youthful passion of something happy to become. If this is the case, one would wonder why such thing often happens to ones life.
As far as I would be concerned, it might be the constant exposure to the cruel reality outside, how you would face them yet struggling to maintain the innocence of ones dream. Such thing wouldn’t be an easy journey as life is cruel and would eat up your very virtue on something. I too have experienced it. It might sound sad doing so, but never I have regretted the process as I believed it was something that would lead myself to something newer too. Personally, it was just a matter of letting things flow. The only thing that changed was the fact that I slowly realized that . . . my life was almost left dreamless, living as a drone that was told to be.
Stop for a while, look back and start envisioning the future that was something that I had to do sooner or later I thought, and honestly, it wasn’t an easy, not to say a pleasant process. I had to compromise most of the things I’ve gone through and yet, keeping myself to be let astray by this world. When did this happen, I guess sometime in the midst of Perthian lands just a couple of years ago. Needless to say, I have to be grateful for this process, since it has enlightened and matured me to some extent. It was from this point onwards that I finally realized the places that I can be and could go. If I look back at my past standards, it wouldn’t be one fulfilling thing, but rest assured, I still believe it would be something that lead me to something I would finally yearn and proud of. The humble desire to just come back to earth and submit yourself towards the modest dream of devoting life to religiousness. Upon this final dream, all I can say is Amin Ya Allah Ya Rabb. It might now match to what I’m coming to become, but that’s the only innocence inside me that’s left to keep and dream of . . .
Early Last Year ~ Like Father . . . Like Son
Okok . . . you all might be wondering, why would I again, bring this period up. I do personally understand and remember that this time of my life was pretty much devastating. Not only on a personal level but also caused some fundamental changes to my way of thinking. But that is why then again I would like to bring it up again as there were many things unexplored in terms of what changed.
On a trivial and observable level, the changes that happened included my sudden change on not reading manga’s on a routine scale and getting a girlfriend. But some subtle changes did in fact happen to me. Changes that involved how I saw myself and in relation to my closest people around me.
The realization mostly happened due to my increasing interaction with my parents these past couple of months since that time. It couldn’t be helped, for I haven’t been living together properly as a family since the past couple of years since I was sent to Malang. During these times, I realized some things about how I am and been doing things.
Simple facts like my forgetfulness, inability to be intuitive and most of all, my ineptness in basic social communication were revealed. Ever since, I have been always trying my best to improve and excel in those areas where I lack. Still progressing slowly and the fruits of success are showing. However, the rest of the revelations are mostly related on a DNA level.
What I meant above is the fact that most of my traits are traits that I inherited from my father. Hahaha . . . honestly the last person I would be and now, I just realized that I indeed inherit most of my father’s traits, good and bad. Not in terms of traits, but currently, I’m also in the verge of also following the footsteps of my father’s career . . . a banker literally . . .
There’s a saying, the harder you dislike something, the harder it’ll hit back and return to you. Well, I guess that’s what happening to me rite now. Why I said he’s the last person I’d be cause I still can remember how my father’s trait has caused me mental hardships all these times. But then again, I also cannot deny that my recent success in study also happened due to the fact that I adopted most of my father’s tricks and traits in studying.
But then again, my girl once said to me, you’ve gotta let go of those hatred and disdain feelings, and embrace the fact of who you are. Only then that you will be able to excel far beyond your heritage. I guess that’s how I should put things rite now. Besides, I’m just feeling too old far a quarrel. I’ve been thinking, better to harness those given facts to the best of my advantage and make truce with past (which is with my dad).
Hence, here I am now, being the almost complete shadow of my dad. Nevertheless how facts may be, I still yearn to be someone different. Regardless so, seems I have to harness what’s already given in my DNA. I may have gained my masters, but in terms of life, I guess I have to admit that I need to learn a lot from my dad.
On a trivial and observable level, the changes that happened included my sudden change on not reading manga’s on a routine scale and getting a girlfriend. But some subtle changes did in fact happen to me. Changes that involved how I saw myself and in relation to my closest people around me.
The realization mostly happened due to my increasing interaction with my parents these past couple of months since that time. It couldn’t be helped, for I haven’t been living together properly as a family since the past couple of years since I was sent to Malang. During these times, I realized some things about how I am and been doing things.
Simple facts like my forgetfulness, inability to be intuitive and most of all, my ineptness in basic social communication were revealed. Ever since, I have been always trying my best to improve and excel in those areas where I lack. Still progressing slowly and the fruits of success are showing. However, the rest of the revelations are mostly related on a DNA level.
What I meant above is the fact that most of my traits are traits that I inherited from my father. Hahaha . . . honestly the last person I would be and now, I just realized that I indeed inherit most of my father’s traits, good and bad. Not in terms of traits, but currently, I’m also in the verge of also following the footsteps of my father’s career . . . a banker literally . . .
There’s a saying, the harder you dislike something, the harder it’ll hit back and return to you. Well, I guess that’s what happening to me rite now. Why I said he’s the last person I’d be cause I still can remember how my father’s trait has caused me mental hardships all these times. But then again, I also cannot deny that my recent success in study also happened due to the fact that I adopted most of my father’s tricks and traits in studying.
But then again, my girl once said to me, you’ve gotta let go of those hatred and disdain feelings, and embrace the fact of who you are. Only then that you will be able to excel far beyond your heritage. I guess that’s how I should put things rite now. Besides, I’m just feeling too old far a quarrel. I’ve been thinking, better to harness those given facts to the best of my advantage and make truce with past (which is with my dad).
Hence, here I am now, being the almost complete shadow of my dad. Nevertheless how facts may be, I still yearn to be someone different. Regardless so, seems I have to harness what’s already given in my DNA. I may have gained my masters, but in terms of life, I guess I have to admit that I need to learn a lot from my dad.
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