Look Ever Forward

“....Traps spreading countlessly, make 1 miss and you are dismissed delete....The future moves toward a virtual space, in the end the only certainty is this belief....”

For those of you who think I’m falling apart…for those of you who think I’m in despair…for those of you who think I’m lost…nai…nai…nai…I’m only just taking a brief stop and wondering how and where should I go and step through my life….

I may have yet to find my Raison D’etre here, but I’m getting the feeling of regaining my supposed dream that I have yet to reach. By just remembering that…It seems all my sorrows and despairs are lost by the neverending optimism and courage.
Walopun godaan dating tiap detik untuk tetap mengingat alasan awal itu, aku akhirnya memutuskan untuk lebih memikirkan dirikus sendiri dan apa2 yang bias kuperbuat untuk diriku sendiri…kembali mengorbankan kebahagiaan pribadiku tuk meraih impian dan cita2ku

Mungkin diantara kalian ada yang bertanya kenapa harus mengorbankan kebahagiaan pribadiku…?Itu tidak lain karena adanya suatu kejadian masa lampau yang membuatku harus menebus rasa bersalah itu dan melakukan yang terbaik….walopun bisa dikatakan masih pada yang jalur yang salah…namun demikian…..perenunganku saat itu dan sekarang pun masih memberikan suatu jawaban yang sama….

Bahkan mungkin kecenderungannya aku bakal mulai “sell my soul to the devil”….hahaha….tenang aja kok…engga sebegitu parah seperti yang tertulis….hanya saja bisa jadi aku bakal melakukan hal2 yang sifatnya kejam bagi diri dan prinsipku tuk meraih apa yang kuharapkan….You never know when you would run out of time….so….for the better good….sometimes….no…..often….sacrifices need to be done….and usually its in the form of having to sacrifice our heart and happiness.

Terlepas dari urusan ruwet di paragraf atas….semua ini merupakan upayaku untuk senantiasa menatap masa depan dan melupakan apa2 yang telah lewat. Sekalipun apa2 yang telah lewat itu merupakan suatu kebahagiaan….namun seketika aku merasa belum pantas menikmati hal itu dan aku kembali menjejak bumi tuk melanjutkan upayaq menebus waktu yang hilang dahulu.

Apa2 yang kukatakan bisa jadi mengesankan aku menempatkan diriku pada suatu titik yang ekstrim bila diandaikan pada suatu poros. Hanya saja….selalu memang begitu diriku….engga pernah bisa menempatkan diriku bener2 di tengah….Jadinya seringkali aku berada pada berbagai titik ekstrim. Memang….kejadian saat itu membuatku tersadar akan akan betapa pentingnya keselarasan dalam hidup….dan sejak itu pula aku senantiasa berupaya tuk meraihnya….hanya saja…melihat keadaanku saat ini….sepertinya jalan dan upaya ku masih kurang dan panjang….

Demi waktuku yang hilang….kebahagiaan pribadi pun harus kugadaikan….demi menebus kesalahan masa lalu….

Raison d'être

2 Weeks....2 weeks i’ve spent my holday here in Malang. Happy?Sure I am...who doesn’t gets happy when they go back to their family;). With around 2 months left here, there’re obviously many things that I can and wanna do here.

Namun demikian....segala sesuatunya engga pernah sesuai dengan apa yang kita harapkan. Liburan panjang ini yang awalnya kuharapkan menjadi liburan yang paling seru justru malah terancam menjadi liburan yang paling membosankan dan mengenaskan....itupun jika aq tidak segera memikirkan langkah2 tuk menangkalnya.

Kenapa aq mengatakan demikian...well...many factors have led to this threat. Cuaca yang engga bersahabat jelas2 membuat kita berpikir 2 kali tuk melakukan kunjungan keluar. Bukan ujannya sih yang gw takutin....tapi efek banjir yang mungkin ditimbulkannya seperti yang telah gw bahas dalam blog gw sebelumnya.

Satu fakta lain adalah keadaan dimana sekarang temen2 gw dah pada mencar di kota2 lain tuk bekerja. Emang kondisi ini dah gw alami pas liburanq sebelumnya. Hanya saja kali ini lebih terasa aja betapa sepi ketika temen2 mencar mengadu nasib masing2. Can’t help this kinda condition. Tapi itulah kenyataan hidup...ketika tiap2 insan akan berpencar pada jalan hidup masing2 sesuai dengan apa yang diharapkan. The best we can do in this kinda of condition is to maintain our silahturahim with each other....to savor the precious times....to remember the moments together....

However, the main reason bout the problem here was due to my raison d’etre here. The main purpose for me here was honestly to fulfil a promise with a certain someone. A promise that I’ve waited for more than half a year for the time to come..a promise to fulfil my curiosity on something...but...that promise is threatened to be nothing more than a mere promise....without any realization.

This promise was my raison d’etre here. But with that kinda threat, I’m slowly losing my raison d’etre here. If so...I’m in deep trouble, not only here but also when I get back to Perth. Why?Coz I’m pretty sure I’m gonna loose spirit and motivation to finish off my last year of studies. Knowing this kinda of fate....its not like I haven’t predicted it. It’s just that I haven’t prepared any other raison d’etre asides what I first plan here.

A friend of mine said to me to not loose hope on that one promise. Something that I would really like to do. However, just clinging to that promise...it just doesn’t make sense at all. If I do cling on to that promise...I face the threat on gambling all of my hope and time...something which I certainly don’t wanna do.

Therefore....I have decided to call my wait for that promise of mine to an end. Eventhough it would come to realization...I’ll just consider it as a compliment....nothing more....nothing less.The catch is with this step....is to find another raison d’etre for me here....and for my future.

Speaking of which....I’ve been distracted by the thought on my future steps....in a more comprehensive manner. Its not like I haven’t thought of it...its just that I haven’t until now thought of it wholely and strategicly. Until now....it was just as pieces by pieces....patches to patches. But....with what I’m currently feeling right now....It is certainly the right time and moment to further put all those pieces together and think strategicly and comprehensively.

It’s quite a pity that I have to call quits to all the hope I’ve put over the past months....but on the other hand....I do feel a bit happy. Happy by the fact that I can finally step earth after putting myself in a sphere of endless dreams, illusions and hopes. What needs to be done next is to strengthen my heart, mind and soul and to not let myself ever....ever....ever again feel this kind of agony. This kind of agony is happy and enjoyable though....only if you are ready to face the consequences in a manly and proper manner....but if not....It’ll just end up as a painfull fatamorgana.

Nevertheless.... lets look forward to a new hope that I’ll be making....till later....

Unlucky Flood

Kenapa aq nulis ini…simple….aq masih nggumun gara2 kejebak banjir terparah yang kotaku pernah rasakan…..

Can you imagine….stuck 3 hours just because you’ve got all major intersections at Malang totally flooded at the height of an adults chests??Sounds crazy since Malang is a city at high levels….but there it is….Malang got Flooded yesterday!!!

I’m not gonna talk about the flood itself…but I’m more interested in how it could have suffered from flood. Well everyone…as you know…Malang has gone some rapid development over the past 10 years lately. But the problem is….semua pembangunan itu tidak disertai dengan perencanaan yang matang dan konsisten terhadap tata ruang dan peruntukan tempat yang seharusnya dan sepantasnya.

Mengapa aq menambahkan kata2 sepantasnya??Sekarang mari kita berpikir dan mengamati….First…Mall MATOS…mall yang digadang2 sebagai mall terbesar kedua d Jatim (demikian promosinya dulu) ternyata bersebelahan dengan kuburan!!!!Sudah gitu…..mall ini letaknya di deket tempat2 pendidikan. Engga matching bangetssss!!!!!And what do you get as a bonus with that new mall…..it roads in front always gets flooded.

Second….MOG….tidak hanya menyebabkan alur lalin d jalan kawi tambah sempit gara2 ada pembatas jalan baru….tapi mall ini juga memangkas tempat2 olahraga bagi warga malang dan lahan2 hijau disekitarnya….and also certainly…..menyebabkan banjir di jalan kawi-nya!!!!

Menjamurnya ruko2….emang sih….tempat berdagang itu penting…tapi bagiku….pertumbuhan ruko2 di malang bener2 sudah diluar batas kewajaran….apa kita emang butuh hadirnya banyak ruko?Kalopun iya….kenapa ujung2nya ruko2 itu malah yg dapat orang2 kaya?Melihat fenomena ini, saya kadang terheran dengan fakta bahwa orang2 mampu masih aja sempet dapet tempat berusaha….tapi para PKL 2 d jalan2 harus bahu membahu mempertahankan eksistensinya dari kejaran tramtb setiap ada penggrebekan…singkat kata….PKL2 lbih layak membutuhkan tempat2 usaha yang permanen bagi mereka daripada ruko2 yang seringkali menggusur lahan2 hijau d kota.

Ah..entahlah…keluh kesahku akan perubahan2 negatif d kotaku engga bakalan berhenti. Namun demikian….aq senantiasa berharap kota ini bias kembali menjadi kota asri nan sejuk sebagaimana dulu dikenal oleh orang2 zaman dulu….masa dimana pagi hari masih berkabut….masa ketika pagi hari masih dingin….dan masa ketika kota ini engga pernah mengalami banjir….amin;)

Sheer Luck

Malaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnggggggggg……I’M BACK!!!! He..he..he..he…

Akhirnya sampe juga di kota kelahiranku tercinta;)….until the next 2,5 months that is:P. Udah ngeplan kegiatan2ku dsini…Cuma kok moro2 merasa males ya:P….ah eniwei…I’ll take my time…besides….I’m not a machine that can go 100% according to plan…I’m just a human that can shift his plans and mind to his surroundings:D.

Eniwei….dengan kedatanganq d Indo aq mendapatkan suatu kabar yang cukup membuatku menunggu….nanika???Yep…my semester results;)….Lamanya waktu cukup membuatku merasa deg-deg-an akan hasil yang akan kuraih. Begitu keluar pun….mataku lekat2 menatap layar komputer dari site yg nampilin hasil itu….

Dan ternyata….I GOT THREE HIGH DISTINCTIONS!!!!WOW…..what a surprise…..a real surprise hountou ni….naze??Coz I honestly didn’t expect to get this kind of result this semester. Even though I did aime for this achievement, current progrees throughout the time made me pessimistic about the result I could get….But there it is….3 HD!!!!Alhamdulillah 

Nevertheless….By looking at the marks of the results and how I got it until this point….I can only say that I achived it through sheer luck…..why??Lots of reasons to start with. First is the work load. The units this semester were honestly out of my thoughts. Even though it looked easy, earning the marks were not. The Lecturer’s this semester were kinda not keen on giving out good marks. That’s why when I received my series of mid semester results from various assignments, I was pretty much sure that I would fail my aim….which in the end it didn’t.

Next thing…too much chatting….:(. Honestly…I should be doing more serious things rather than chat on the web. Looks nice once your into it..but it eats up our precious time(. Damn luckt that the coming of ramadhan broke the seemingly neverending pace of my chatting. If not…who knows how much damage it would cause to my studies here. However, even though I managed to end the pace, the damage has already been felt in the start of semester. This then caused myself not putting proper attention to the planning and start of the semester.

Tired….One word to describe how hectic this semester was. With the fact that I added my working hours made my time to study almost gone. Therefore, I had to squeeze out the idle time I had to do my studies. It might sound got but without enough buffer time…it just feels quite boring…especially when you’re not in the mood for studying. End thought ….I really need to tighten up my time management next semester so my schedule doesn’t go haywire suddenly.

End result….I need to pay attention and not do the same mistakes next semester. Next term would obviously be more harder so I need to look around and stay vigilant on my studies…after all…I’am aiming for 4 high distinctions this time:D. Hope I can stay firm and keep my cool so that my aime would come to realization…aminB-)

Start of an End

Finally…my vacation has started….yeah!!!

Walo demikian…datangnya liburan ini bagiku bukanlah akhir dari perjalanan ku disini. Malah sebaliknya, bisa dibilang sebagai awal dari banyak hal yang akan datang.

Pertama2…tugas. Akhirnya….selesai juga sih. Namun demikian selesainya tugas bagiku menimbulkan suatu rasa gamang dan sekaligus kecewa. Gamang akan bagaimana nilai2q nantinya, mengingat semester ini nilai2 ku bisa dikatakan ngga begitu memuaskan. Kecewa karena nilai juga sih…tapi lebih pada fakta bahwa aku semester ini ngga memperhatikan diriku sebaik semester lalu dalam hal fisik dan mental belajar. Aku merasa bisa melakukan lebih untuk medapatkan nilai2 dari kuliah2 ku semester ini. Walo demikian….rasanya semua sudah terlambat…yang bisa kulakukan hanyalah berdoa…semoga hasil semester ini ngga lebih jelek dari semester lalu (at least).
Lainnya….

Pindah kamar…fuuuhhhh…pindah juga kemaren. Agak sedih juga sih ninggalin kamar yang sdh 2 semester aq tempati. Seperti yang kujelaskan pada beberapa blog yang lalu, aq pindah lebih karena alasan ingin dapat nuansa yang lebih ramai coz di asrama sepiiii banget. Eniwei…aq dah dsini setelah proses pengangkutan barang2 yang gede2 secara kilat kemaren sore usai ngajar iqra. Seharian ini aja juga masih ngelanjutin pindah2in barang2 kecil ke tempat baru…naik sepeda!!Kedengarannya gila…tapi juju raja, aq pengen ngetes stamina, jarak dan waktu tempuh. Ternyata engga jelek juga, rata2 waktu tempuh Cuma 20 menit. Not bad…itung2 juga olahraga nih;). My hope here…aq bisa betah dan engga perlu pindah2 lagi:P

Kerja…ahhh….datang juga saat aq bsa kerja tiap hari. Emang, kerja itu capek (emang ada kerja yg g capek:P?). Tapi…aq piker sih mendingan gini. Paling engga aq ada kegiatan yg sifatnya produktif. Daripada luntang luntung nunggu waktu2 pulang yg msh lama, mendingan kerja aja deh. Khan lumayan euy…dapat duit juga:D. Dan entah kenapa…aq belakangan ngerasa…dah mulai bisa menikmati kerjaq sekarang. Walo capek pun rasanya masih bsa enjoy, padahal dulu kalo dah capek…rasanya bener2 sumpek. Entah napa ya??Eniwei…perubahan ini bener2 aq nikmati coz bagaimanapun, aq rasa g jelek juga hal ini:P. Semoga aja kedepannya sikap semacam ini tetep bisa kupertahankan sehingga bisa menunjang kerjaku;).

Ngajar…..suatu kegiatan baru yang kelakukan belakangan. Awalnya sih diajak si head. It turned out not too bad. Malah dapat pengalaman dan wawasan baru. Terutama dalam hal menghadapi anak2 kecil yang seringkali susah tuk diajak belajar iqra:P. Bener2 butuh ketelatenan dan kesabaran dalam menghadapi mereka. Terlepas dari tantangannya, aq berharap kegiatan ini bisa tetap kulakukan kedepannya. Karena aq sendiri juga menganggap hal ini bisa memaksaku untuk lebih mendalami agama dan berperilaku secara lebih baik, amin.

Fuuuhhh….what next?Jalan2?Ahya…pengennya sih, mumpung belum balik ke indo juga. Tapi dengan kegiatan2 kaya kerja n ngajar, aq kok sekarang jadi agak pesimis bisa jalan2. Padahal masih banyak tempat d perth yang pengen kujelajahi. Kayanya sih aq harus meluangkan waktuku diantara waktuq ato menggunakan waktu kosongq tuk jalan2. Who knows??

Last thing…back home. Tinggal 3 minggu lagi. Bener2 engga sabara aq tuk pulang. Sayangnya aq belum bikin plan kegiatan2q disana…so better make one soon, or I’ll risk wasting my time there doing too much trivial things. Waktu 2,5 bulan juju raja bakal terasa cepat…so, better don’t waste ur time from very day u get to Indonesia.

Bottom line is….masa2 pulang harus bisa membuatq kembali segara dan besemangat lagi menjalani semester berikutnya di Perth. Dan juga membuatq membenahi dan mengidentifikasi kesalahan2 yg terjadi di perth dalam masa 1 tahun terakhir.

Overall…the things I’m doing now,bukanlah sebuah akhir…tapi awal dari suatu hal yang kelak akan bertemu dan terjalin di masa depan.

Aq kangeeeeennnnnnnn…..

Aku kangen kluargaku

Aku kangen rumahq

Aku kangen ketemu teman2ku

Aku kangen pinjem komik di jalan semeru!!!

Aku kangen main Winning Eleven di Bang Yus!!!!

Aku kangen hunting sepur ke pelosok….!!!

Aku kangen jalan2 ke daerah di Indo….

Aku kangen hawa lembab indo

Aku kangen murahnya harga2 barang di Indo….

Aku kangen crew kertosari 12….

Aku kangen cangkruk’an ama teman2 di warkop pinggir jalan

Aku kangen makan pizza di Malibu…

Aku kangen memborong buku2 murah di togamas….

Aku kangen cangkruk’an di payung (Batu)….

Aku kangen ke pasar tugu di rampal….

Aku kangen nyanggoni rumah teman2ku….:D

Aku kangen liat TV kabel….(sekalipun Astro dah koit di indo:P)

Aku kangen danau selorejo…

Aku kangen cui mie di jalan rajakwesi…..

Aku kangen…..EVERYTHING!!!!

Six very loooooonnnggggg Weeks…..

Huuuuhh…finally back…Its been quite some times since the last “normal” post. What do ya mean by “normal”.Ah yeah…:P….it was just those bunch of lousy postings recently. Not much of an attention accept it just reflects my messiness in life and work. Despite the time that has pasted, I still feel lost in my maze of…..everything….

The last 2 months starting from October certainly has been hectic and busy. The thought of taking a brief relax after ramadhan really didn’t come in reality. Assignments, work and other sort of stuffs quickly got me heavily occupied. Leaving me really overwhealmed when I didn’t prepare myself.

One major thing that I had to do aside my obvious pile of assignments and work was to find a new room for the next year here. It was quite the trouble, having to go here and there for almost 3 weeks just to find the suitable place in terms of neighborhood,facility and of course….price! To get the best of three worlds isn’t an easy task. You’ve definitely got to compromise on or two of our ideal requirement in order to get one quickly. Finally with all the trouble…I finally managed to get one.

I don’t know how it is since I’ve yet to move there on the middle of November. But I do hope it would be much better than my current place. Eventhough its far from campus, at least I’ve got sharemates to say “hello” everyday, just to keep my sanity and sense of collectiveness. The loneliness in my room has been slowly killing me since my first day here. Eventhough I’ve got the luxuries of everything (well…almost:P), its just not enough since I’m…alone..:(. Might sound easy, but in the long run, its bound to cause some mental solitudeness in ourselves.

On the main things, assignments still come and go. The last bunch of assignments for this semester is even getting more horrible for me. Especially when almost all of my classes have finished, which effectively makes us have to study by ourself. With work, everything is back to my normal (and hectic) schedule. But with these heaps of assignments, I’m bound to ask for some time off from work. I hate to do it, but then, study comes first. So, I shouldn’t hesitate to ask for some time, as long as my boss allows me to.

And when I’ve started to immerse myself in an ocean of assignments and work, I remembered….It’s just 6 weeks left till my holiday to Indonesia!!!Aaaahhhhh….just thinking bout that time really hypes me up. But on the other side, it also makes me swayed away by the imaginations on what I would be doing there….Not a good thing really, but I couldn’t help it since the reality of facing assignments and work everday makes me wanna find a place to run from reality (eventhough just in my dreams:P).

Luckily, it’s really not 6 week left. Its practically 2, 5 weeks left. That’s if u only include the assignments. But yeah…these 2 and a half weeks are the most dreaded and horrid since I’ve gotta finish of my assignments in this time limit. After that…I can say I’m prett much free….well…not really…there’s still my work that I’ve gotta do till my departure date.

To be honest, even I wanted to go back home straight after exam finishes. But then, if I do that, I wouldn’t have any pocket money for my stay at home. Therefore, the final 3 weeks here would be the last self tormentation I have to endure…just for the sake of some pocket money. Ask my parents for some??Good idea n a simple thing, but it wouldn’t be if you know that your parents are in a financial hardship. So…I really couldn’t dare to ask for rhem to pay my whole living expenses at home.

My hope is simple, survive the next 2,5 weeks, just for the sake of my assignments. Not just merely surviving it, but also doing my best to finish them off completely. Its really gonna be hard work from here on, so….All I can say to myself is….GOOD LUCK…..GANBATTE….SEMANGAAAATTTT!!!!

Flows of Time

Apa itu waktu…??

Apakah itu masa yang lewat….

Apakah itu detakan jarum jam yang berbunyi…

Apakah itu saat yang selalu kita lewati….

Apakah itu ingatan kita yang terekam….

Apakah itu latar belakang kita yang maju….

However…

Time is more of a weapon…

Time is more of a consciousness….

Time is more of a reminder….

Time is more of a string of lines that connects people….

Time is something that we all treasure….

Time is the spotlight of our life….

That will always show us our current position in the earths and heaven…to show us all our doings from past to future…therefore…do we still have the guts to play and loose our time??

Time cannot be regained….as for it flows like a river….

Even though we consider ourselves to have a second chance….its not like rewriting time…but rather as a new experience for ourself that reminisces the past things that have happened.

Dakara…..never let go of ur flow….

What does it mean to be human…???

What does it mean to be human…???

Yang Kutahu…

Keluhan….Tangis….Amarah….Kesal….Nafsu….Iri….Harga Diri….Lapar….Haus…..

Namun demikian….Aku mendapati bahwa…..to be a human….we also can have….

Intelligence….Honesty….Benevolence….Empathy….Sympathy….and…..LOVE

If so….Then I surely have to Praise ALLAH SWT for ALLAH has given me all these to make me a human….;)

ASS-I-MENT TO BE…..

Kertas kertas berserakan…..

Jurnal jurnal terbuka semua…..

Buku buku menengadahkan masing-masing keatas….

Jari jari memasukkan kata demi kata yang entah ada artinya….

Mata mata terbuka awas menatap kedepan….

Tanggal tanggal semakin dekat ke sebuah lingkaran merah besar….

And so……BENTAR LAGI ASSIGNMENT GW DUE!!!!!

And up till now I’m still stuck in this condition without a clue on what to write……!!!!!!!

PACARAN…..SO WHAT GITU LOHHHH!!!!!!

Mama bertanya….”tok…dah dapet pacar belom….?”
Teman bertanya…”tok…wis duwe ojob (bahasa malangnya pacar) durung…?”
Bos-ku bertanya ….”kamu sudah beristri kah tok?”
Temen2 ku orang Malaysia bertanya…”anto….sudah punya istri ato girlfriend belom?”

Singkat kata….kok dah pada rebut sih aku punya pacar ato woteper namanya????Apa mama gw dah sgitu kebeletnya pengen punya cucu??Apa temen2 ku sudah sedemikian sedihkah aku tak ada yang menemani hidupku???Apa Bosku sudah ingin liat anak buahnya ini segera merasakan bahagianya berkeluarga….???WHO KNOWS….

Well…I do have my reasons on why I haven’t had or tried to have a girlfriend….wanna know???

1. Punya pacar…aq emoh komitmen yg g jelas, pengennya yg jelas2 aja
2. Engga kuat modal tuk modalin kencan dll
3. aq masih ingin menikmati kebebasanq sebagai seorang jomblo sejati B-)
4. Klo masalah cri jodoh…gw mending yang serius sklian…g pake cara mbulet macam pacaran….
5. Biar bsa mundur teratur klo emang engga minat….:P
6. One more thing…..pacaran banyak mudhratnya rekk:D

Makanya….gw sd skrng masih setia ama status jomblo gw. Apalagi gw emang lom kerja…jadi mending mikir2 yg deket ajalah. Klo target nikah emang dah ada….tapi that’s still a loooooonnnngggg waaaayyyyyyy toooooo goooooo……
Ah udah gitu aja…males gw ngomongin ini….ribet….habis….semua orang pada nanyain itu….kesannya aku ini macam cowok engga laku:P

Subete wa boku no tameni…(Sebuah renungan akhir Ramadhan)

Akhir ramadhan telah tiba…and for me, this month has surely left me with some impressions, some of them are first timers, the others while not, still are worth while to remember and learn the lessons from.

It’s first time for me since I’m now living in Perth, making me experiencing fasting as an adult far from my family and relatives. It might sound lonely, but luckily, I can still feel the the nuance here as the muslim community in my campus is quite big. Hence, daily ramadhan activities can still be done like ifthar and tarawih.
Speaking bout the activities together, it did bring me some impressions. The fact that we muslims can unite together regardless of race, ethnicity and nationality means that we do posses a great potential as Allah SWT best people….if it were to be harnessed in the proper manner.That’s what I did think. Eventhough this kind of thought would still be long to realize, I do believe the seeds of this has been planted. Insya Allah the time will come soon for muslims to unite under one banner….

Through out the activities, I also was able to meet new friends and further strengthen my ties with those I already knew of. It sure is amazing how Ramadhan can bring us together..that’s why…I do hope that the ties of silaturahim would not wane of with the passing of Ramadhan this year. For keeping our ties with others sure brings life merrier and colorful. Not to mention since muslim’s are of one body, that also makes things more beautiful….

As for myself, I did achieve some targets. Finishing the Qur’an and also doing the tarawih each day. Even though I could have done more, I still its quite acceptable, especially if I take in the fact that there were many hurdles and disturbances that I faced during my fasting. Heaps of assignments, extra work hours and an unfir body at the beginning of the ramadhan were the major ones. As for assignments, it really didn’t matter as long I could manage my time properly, which I did do Alhamdulillah. More working hours…well…I kind of find this one as a mistake since I was supposedly gonna ask for this after Ramadhan. However, it accidently had a slip of tongue and ended up asking for more work hours during ramadhan and later.

The result was…sure I got extra money. But then, I ended up exhausting my body way beyond what expected to be able to handle. My body has lost a couple of weight without any comprehensive reason. End thing is…I’m now not feeling quite well as I’m feeling symptoms of flu (again). Well….i did start this ramadhan with an un fit condition. But I certainly do hope not to end it even worst…I guess the only thing I can do is to do more eating and rest as much as possible while trying to do some basic workout…just to keep my body from being stiff due to lack of exercise.

Ah yeah…remember the five blogs I wrote…Well yeah that was one things that I managed to overcome this ramadhan. Even though the conclusion for is still vague, at least I do know where to start to overcome those problems. Yang aq sndri paling suka adalah aq bsa kembali menemukan irama belajar setelah agak terganggu sjak pulkam yg terakhir. Dengan banyaknya tgs (and with a certain someone missing), it certainly able to force me concentrate more on my assignments and finishing it of in the best result that I can try.

As for passion, I believe I’ve gone back to Earth after experiencing some fly high’s this couple of months. It’s a nice thing to find something new, but if you feel that you’ve dreamt to much, that means you’ve gotta go back and taste Earth or else you’ll plunge dying…:P. Eniwei, I surely was able to defragment my mind that was a bit jumbled on which or which wasn’t reality these couple of month and therefore refinding my passion :D.

Secara singkat, Ramadhan ini telah membuat ku tersadar kembali akan realita hidup yang harus kujalani. Walo masih banyak hal yang tentunya harus kuperbaiki, aq sungguh berharap dan berniat, apa-apa yang telah kupelajari dan kujalani selama Ramadhan ini tidak hilang begitu saja dan terus dapat kulaksanakan secara istiqamah. It surely would be a hard thing to do since life is full of hurdles to begin with. But with consistency and prayers, Insya Allah I will find my way. Just remember to start things at a walking pace and speed things up steadily as u advance in life. I’m sure this way, I can better enjoy the fruits of my efforts rather than doing things all in once. Besides…its all for the sake of myself (subete wa boku no tameni…)

Maha Suci Allah SWT yang merubah rubah hati manusia….

Suatu saat…
Engkau mencintai seseorang….tapi esoknya engkau membencinya…
Engkau menyukai sesuatu….tapi sedetik kemudian engkau menganggapnya najis
Suatu hal mempesona hatimu….tapi sejurus kemudian mengotori hatimu

Sering kali…
Seorang hamba merasa pintar…untuk kemudian merasa bodoh luar biasa
Seorang insan menemui suatu inspirasi…untuk kemudian mendapati itu sebagai sebuah kebohongan belaka
Seorang manusia mendapatkan kehormatan diri….untuk mendapati dirinya terjerembab dalam kenistaan hidup yang amat sangat

Detik demi detik….
Manusia telah berharap….untuk kemudian merubah niatannya
Manusia ingin melakukan…untuk kemudian membatalkannya
Manusia telah berbuat….untuk kemudian menyangkalnya

Sungguh….
Manusia rapuh hatinya….dakara (that’s why)….Mahasuci Allah yang Merubah rubah hati manusia……

Determination

How serious could you be…?

Last part of the series. And to be honest, I guess this is the crucious part of my 5 problems.

Mungkin kalo bahasa kerennya…gimana sih caranya istiqomah???Ah…maybe kaya gtu bahasanya, esensinya gtu deh. Gimana caranya biar dapat langgeng dalam bersikap dan berpola piker terhadap suatu hal. Engga gampang apalagi klo dah berurusan ama pilihan dan prinsip hidup.

Mungkin aja kali….diperlukan suatu target hidup yang bersifat komprehensif, mulai dari yang jangka pendek, menengah dan kemudian panjang….maybe lho….why I say maybe?well…its just that im pretty much clueless….

I’ve thought on that before…but it just seems to be done half assed…I go astray in the middle of the road.So I guess….there must be that very something that we need to keep ourselves determined to the very end…whatever that might be.

Or is determination not a something that is isolated but an amalgamation of reasons,passion,pace, and motivation?If so…I should have found my determination by now…but yet…still I haven’t had the slightest clue or signs of it….

Overall….I guess I’m on the never ending quest to find my determination. And if I find it…its gonna be a battle of strengthening and maintaining it to the very end of my life, whatever the cost is….

Pace

How fast would you go…?

Next stuff…pacing things. How would you pace yourself in life, and in times of need?
For everything we do, there’s a certain speed on our activities. How slow or quick we do it often determines the excitement and enjoyment we do it. This degree would certainly vary across people. But pace definitely is required to spice our lives up.
I’ve been thinking lately…how is my pace of life?Enough, inadequate or even need to slow things down?For some things, I believe I still lack the pace like in studying. But even I feel that I have to much pace (for that certain something that your in a hiatus now:P). The balancing of pace for each of our activities sure does need carefull thinking and decision.

Ever since my last vacation, I’ve always felt, not only I lack the previous three points, but also this one. Eventhough I have made truce with myself on the first three, finding back my pace isn’t an easy task. Like a car after it’s been shut down, it needs some heating to make it run faster.However in my condition….I wonder if heating up would do the job.

With heaps of study and work here and there, I wonder how I can get into things with minimal time to heat myself up. Time is precious and therefore I’ve gotta find a way to be in the mood to do things I have to. Or else….I’m gonna be running out of time….
My thoughts….Well…I’m thinking of exhausting every resource I have to get myself paced up. Therefore, it would save time so that I don’t have to do something completely new to gear up myself. It might sound boring, but honestly…there’s not much feasible choices out there . So…just gotta endure the pain till the very end I guess.

Well…a few bits of surprises won’t do any harm I guess. But having to many surprises would surely ruin the pace that I need right now to finish my needs. So then again, Its all back to balancing everything so that my pace doesn’t get ruined by unnecessary stuffs….

Passion

How would you keep youself alight…?

This is still a continuation of the last two blogs, and it will go on…until I’ve found answers…

Ever thought what makes you alight and eager to face the world and reality?There can be many kinds of things, may it be reasons, hobbies, and all sorts of things. It’s always something that is special to each person. Something unique that a person has for themselves.

With this, a person would face reality and the world in eager and passionate about it. Any hardships or troubles would not be a problem if someone is always passionate about their self and the doings. Those two things would only fire up ones passion to even put themselves on a more higher groubd then ever before.
But then…what if you’ve lost that passion…?It would not be a mere problem of lost motivation, but its as if you have lost the eagerness and self fire to keep things going. Even if there is motivation, but without passion, its would be just like doing things but wiyhout any will.

Therefore…I’ve been wondering…what is my passion?Reminiscing back through my years, I’ve always yearned to find my passion. Be it on my own religion, anime, manga, computers, stamps and anything. But then…Until now, they all seem fruitless to keep me passionate on life.

Recent contemplations has forced me to again seek my passion on life. As time goes by, I’ve decided to stop my flow of time for the moment and try to look back on what has kept me to this point. It has worked and resulted in a temporarily condition….go all of those things …one by one…and try to get the feel of all of what you have experienced up to this point. Seeking a new passion would be good. But then…If you have lost your older ones that have accompanied you through the ups and downs…whats the meaning…Its like discarding something old but with memories for something that is new but unable to give you a clear picture on what you will be facing.

One thing is…its not a problem to stop and look back. Try to savor the moments that have kept you passionate and at the same moment, always try to seek that something to complete yourself….

Motivation

What drives you until now…?

Another question that still lingers round my head. Similar to my previous blog, only this time, its all bout my driving force that have led me until this very second.
Regardless of my reason to be here in Perth, I’ve always strived the very best to keep myself motivated. The first semester succeded somehow. Maybe it was due to the strong sense of survival that engulfed me back then. But the time here has made me kinda soft. The sense of survival has long been lost and here I am lost finding something that can motivate myself.

Back then in Indonesia, the thought of getting lost coz of the lack of motivation was almost nonsense. With the abundant form of motivation, I was always in the mood of inspiration there. But here…things have gotten way tough. Its not like you cannot motivate urself here, its just that you’ve gotta struggle to do that.

With the limited resources here, keeping urself motivated here is like keeping a fire on but with just few fire wood. I’ve collected some potential things that could keep me motivated, but it seems that all those things just cannot fulfil my hunger for inspiration to keep me motivated.

Without the fire to keep myself motivated here, it seems everything goes on without emotion. As if I’m just a robot doing as it is told. As if I’m just something that is void of emotions. Asif there is no spirit to keep me go in life….

Its not like I’ve done nothing to solve this. Its just that keeping the spirit to keep urself motivated is a winding road itself, full of ups and downs. And with all the limitations u’ve got here, I guess the only way out is to feel gratefull to urself. Gratefull to the fact that U’ve made it this far, gratefull to the fact that u still have stuffs to fill ur life, regardless I like it or not. But then again, even though I can act this way, I wonder how long I can stay in that moment….?

Reasons

Why am I here…?

Pertanyaan ini belakangan mengemuka di benakku. Entah kenapa begitu, tapi hal ini telah mendobrak kenyamanan yang mulai kurasakan sejak menetap di Perth. Bahwa aq ada disini untuk melanjutkan kuliah S2 ku merupakan suatu hal yang jelas. Namun pertanyaan diatas membuatku harus kembali merenungkan kembali mengapa aq sampai harus menempuh kuliah S2 segala…

Diminta orang tua?Well…that’s what I first thought years ago when I was finishing my bachelors. Ketika itu, aq hanya perlu melakukan ini untuk memuaskan keinginan ortu. Juga keinginan mereka untuk mampu membanggakan seseuatu dihadapan koleganya. Pretty messed up but that’s what I really thought back then.

Times passed and I finished my bachelors. It was here on that I finally thought…”Hey…kul S2 lagi g jelek juga..”. Pikiranku ktika itu juga diliputi oleh suatu perasaan menyesal yang amat. Penyesalam yang terjadi karena tidak mampu memanfaatkan masa 4,5 tahun kuliahku dengan sungguh2. Jadilah aku berpikir untuk memanfaatkan masa kuliah S2 ku untuk menebus waktuku yang hilang. Juga untuk memantapkan kembali segala sesuatu yang telah kudapatkan sejauh itu.

Sampai semester pertamaku dsini, that reason remained. But just recently I’ve felt really inconvenient about that fact. Aku kembali berpikir…cukupkah alasan itu demi keberadaanku dsini?Seberapa lamakah alasan itu akan bertahan didalam diriku?Tidak adakah suatu alasan yang lebih mulia demi keberadaanku disini….:-?

Dibutuhkannya suatu alasan adalah demi landasan atas segala sesuatu yang akan dilakukan sekarang dan untuk masa depan. With the fact that I’m doubting again those reasons, I again feel insecure about what kind of future I’m pursuing….

Then again…was it just for fame, regrets, passion, lust, greed, pride or some other miscellaneous reasons. Wallahu alam. But if I don’t rediscover it, who knows what future would await me…..

666

Nope…u don’t interpret that with anything that has to do with Satanism…nor with anything with sex (since Japanese people might read it sekusu…sekusu…sekusu). It’s just that I was ill….:P

Out of the blue…I was struck with this illness. The signs of it had emerged some weeks before it became serious, and I was ignorant on those signs. In the end, the heavy coughs and nosebleeds sure hit me hard. Disabling me from attending most of my lectures here. There goes my first 2 absents from class 

Now…hmm…it hasn’t really gone yet, I mean the illness. Still suffering from some light coughs here and there. But at least I’m now able to resume my daily activities as usual. Not being able to do anything while sick sure has made my mind and body numb. Therefore, I’ve been struggling hard to regain my mental and physical conditions through hard study and simple workouts

And to think that this illness came right after my 24th birthday…it really made me able to contemplate on some matters…especially health. Up till now, I’ve been working hard to not fall sick again. So far it has somewhat succeeded. Only some minor flu’s have occurred. But this illness was one of the serious ones that forced me to go see a doctor. End result….yeah…I was sloppy on my health should have paid more attention to it.

Ramadhan is coming in a week and there goes another good reason why I need to get back in shape soon. I don’t wanna end up like last year, when I was struck with a flu prior and after ramadhan. Especially here, being sick really isn’t a feasible condition on you when medicine prices are damn high .
But before ramadhan, I’ve still got one week of tuition free week upcoming. I’m gonna tidy up all the mess that was caused due to my sickness. I wanna start ramadhan in a good and tidy manner so that I can enjoy that holy month in serenity and purity .

Restart

Another semester….another start….a new beginning….

That’s what I’m currently feeling. Everything seems like rewinded to the beginning of last semester…time where I had no idea on where to start my studies with…

However…things aren’t totally that way…its just the feeling that’s kinda déjà vu. The feeling that u’ve gotta find again ur lost study feeling that’s been drowned over the last month due to vacations. Its gonna take some time to recover that feeling…and I’m gonna have to do it quick since things are starting to get harder as the day comes by.

2 units that I really need to take care of are statement analysis and governance & ethics. Why?....coz I have no clue on how the lecturers are and the units seem quite hard….so better stay aware on whats happening….better satay alert by studying enough so that u don’t get lost in the middle of semester.

Add those with my increased work hours and it does look tiring. With a total of 11 hours a day….I better watch my health and body. Gotta make sure that nothing goes wrong over the semester. Again..I can’t afford 2 be sick due to the expensive cost of medications….bottom line is to don’t get carried away by the money u can get….mainobjective is to…STUDY!!

End note…I’ve made a self review on myself. It certainly looks like I’ve gotta revises some things to improve myself. Especially when I’ve already targeted 3 High Distinction marks at the end of this semester…that means a lot of hard work. As they say…its harder to maintain a success rather than achieving it…yup…that’s what I’m experiencing right now….Just watch your back….stay alert…don’t get swayed away by any temptations that might make me astray….

Amiieennn…..:)

Reset

Hwaaaaaaa…..Legaaaaaa…….

I guess that’s what I can say after my 12 days trip back to Malang he..he..he..:). It wasn’t long but I certainly can say that really helped me ease the stress and tiredness that has been piling up for the last 5 months here in Perth. What made really lucky was that I was able to organize my activities there. This was in order to make the most of my time there. With only 12 days, I had to do the things most important. No time to waste ;)

Well…I landed in Jakarta the next day on midnight. Nothing much to do I Jakarta besides buying myself a new mobile B-). I really needed a new one since my old one got broken. But I ended up buying something more expensive than what I expected. Even though it was worth it in the end, I’m wondering up till now….why didn’t I bring more money …..:(

The next day I was already in Malang. I directly headed to my local bookstore to get myself and syah’s book. It took me around three days later to fully finish my book hunting. I indulged myself there. Besides, Its only in Indonesia where u can get cheap books there;). Other things that I took care was my download list through the bittorrent. I found a couple to have been finished, but still a dozens waiting to be finished. Coz of this I thought of turning on the bittorent each night while im here in order to get some downloads finished. It did work in the end, one was something I was eagerly waiting which was The Carnival of True concert by laruku. Why I was eagerly waiting coz this concert hasn’t been released until now. So its kinda a rare item he..he..he..:D

The night I spent there were often with my friends. The second night was hanging in a coffee stall wth andi, arif and pulungan. It sure was fun and nostalgic. After a while im able to meet them again in good condition J. Too bad arif was on his way to his work training so that made me the last time I could meet him in a while L. The other chances were having a match at bang yus with nandar and wiwid. It seems I haven’t lost my touch after 5 months not touching the PS2 controller. Managed to score some wins :D

Fajar was also in my “have to meet” list. The purpose was none other than delivering him some new stuffs on laruku which I had already promised. However…it seemed I was back home a bit too early coz while I was gonna go back to perth, he suddenly texted me and said he already laid his hand on the Five Live Archives DVD Set 0_0…..Aaaarrrrrggghhhhh…..damit. To think he got it first….to think he got it while I was on my way back to Perth…..Well the…better wait for my next vacation home…..

Ah yes….not to forget…..comics!!!This one I certainly would not miss. I did miss those comics so I borrowed quite a pile of them. It wasn’t all of my wanted list but it definitely did. Gonna have to wait for my next trip to finish of the next list of comics thereL…..The rest of my time there was done with buying some things that I had to buy. However….some of them were really unexpected things like my spectacles and a new printer. Clothes were also in my list coz it seemed that drop a couple of size numbers down….hmm….seems that my workout did work in aozzy :D

Well then…I can finally say that despite the short time there, I really did have the most of my time there. Its all bout the quality….noy quantity I guess ;)

Numb3rs...

5.....Months in Perth

1st...Son I am

17...Countries I've visited

2.....brothers I have

4.5 years...to finish my bachelors degree

24....I'm turning this year

4.....cities/town I've stayed and lived in

15....is the age that started everything for me

7....provincial capital cities I've visited in Indonesia

7....years is the gap between me and my youngest sibling

0....girlfriends I've had till now :P

2....jobs I've done till now

2....times I've felt snow

3....Languages I can speak

12...days I have for my first coming home since January

2....years for me to finish off my master's degree

2....cities I dearly wanna go to

7....years I've been dreaming on the past

8....years ago is the time I'd go back if there were time traveling

4....years later is the maximum time I hope to be married :P

Countdown

Di tengah liburan yang sepi ini, kuterpekur memikirkan apa yang sebaiknya kulakukan…..Eniwei, ungkapan tadi memang cocok tuk menggambarkan betapa sepinya suasanan disini. Sehari-hari kerjaan cuma liat film, baca komik/e-book, ngenet ato kerja d butcher. Monoton bgt. Namun demikian, ini sedang dlm proses utk menikmati itu semua. Toh beberapa bulan lalu emang dh mendambakan liburan datang. So, I think lets just enjoy all this calmness.

2 minggu terakhir…gimana ya ngomongnya…I’ll start of with my ticket. Emang sih jadi nuruti ortu, tapi dengan harga yg lumayan mahal…..jujur aja aq sendiri mo kecewa ama sapa juga g jelas. Aq hanya berpikir, klo mreka ngomongnya jauh2 hari aja, aq g bakalan dapat tiket dengan harga yang kelewat mahal. Mana waktuq juga nanggung bgt lgi, g ada 2 minggu. Jujur aja sih, aq emang lebih beratin kerja. Tapi at least that’s better than wasting money on a really short noticed vacation. Gara2 kejadian itu, aq bener bertekad untuk tidak mengulangi lagi hal ini. Kesempatan brikutnya harus ku-plan lebih baik vacation sehingga bsa dapat tiket yg murah.

At work…well segalanya berjalan cukup sepi. Apa mungkin gara2 dah musim liburan sehingga pembeli juga turut berkurang ya? Maybe aja sih klo gtu. Satu2nya perubahan yg terjadi cuma fakta bahwa aq sekarang lebih sering masuk jam 10 pgi daripada 8.30 yang biasa kulakukan. Nikmati aja lah. Paling g bsa nyante dulu sebelum berangkat. Soalnya biasanya pontang panting paginya klo harus berangkat masuk 8.30. Speaking of work, belakangan isinya makan mlulu dsana. Kerja minggu ini aja dh dapet jatah kue dan makanan yg lumayan. Sd2 lunch box-q g habis. Lumayaaannnn….rejeki nihJ

Ada senang da ada pula yang bikin sedih. Itulah yg juga terjadi padaku. Bukan sedih sih….lebih tepatnya jengkel!!!Apa itu….its all bout the fact that I cannot download to my hearts content at campus. Ini gara2 kmps skrng memberlakukan pembatasan bandwith bagi mahasiswanya. Bayangin, masa 1 GB/bln tuk 1 orang L, kurang banget laahhhhh…….Pastinya, gara2 ini, aq dh g bsa lagi nongkrongin labkom kampus tuk donlot2 sepuasnya. Masih bsa tpi harus dalam batasan 1 GB/bln itu. Sehingga, harus bener2 dijaga nih. Kedepannya, aq mungkin berpikiran tuk nambah bandwith internet rumahq aja. Mo gimana lgi. Soalnya aq emang tipikal donloder sih…L. Selain itu, donlot2 kedepan juga harus lebih dibatasi dan dipilih nih.

Eniwei, sisa waktuq nunggu masa refreshing tgl menunggu waktu aja. Aq bahkan dah membuat list apa2 yg harus kulakukan dsana. Aq pikir perlu lah coz waktuq disana yg g ada 2 minggu harus bener2 dipake tuk hal2 yg esensial dan berguna agar pas balik ke perth, otak dan hati udah bener2 di re-charge utk semester berikutnya yg pastinya bakal lebih berat. Utk liburanq disni, aq juga memutuskan tk membuat list possible activities yg bsa kulakoni. Kalo g gtu, aq hanya akan mengulang masa2 membosankan 2 pekan awalku d perth dulu. Ngga mau kan…?

The next part maybe would be when I’m on leave. Sementara detik jarum jam menuju saat itu, lets just fill in time usefully and wisely. Its not everytime u get moments like this….so C U J

Mahasiswa…Time 2 Ime-chen…;)

Mahasiswa, apa sih arti dari kata ini?Apa yang diharapkan dari kata ini?Apa yang diharuskan oleh obyek yang menanggung title ini?

Rata2 semua akan menjawab, mahasiswa adalah agen perubahan. Aq sedikit banyak setuju ama pendapat ini. Why?Coz mahasiswa merupakan salah satu masa paling berharga dalam hidup ketika seseorang dapat menunjukkan idealisme mreka, cita2 mreka dan dan asa mreka secara jernih. Sejarah membuktikan bagaiman para pelaku perubahan rata2 adalah mreka yg bergolongan muda. Yang tua?Ada beberapa tpi pada masa2 ini seorang manusia akan cenderung memikirkan masalah2 lain seperti keluarga dan kerjaan. So…their idealism might be compromised because of this.

Eniwei, menarik utk dilihat bagaimana mahasiswa tlh berperan dlm konteks mreka sebagai agen perubahan. Sejak reformasi 10 tahun silam, mahasiswa seakan menemukan momentum mreka kembali utk dapat bertindak sebagai agen perubahan seiring keadaan yang memaksa mreka. Sd skrng pun, mahasiswa masih senantiasa menyuarakan berbagai aspirasi mreka akan tatanan hidup yang ideal dan lebih baik. Tentu menurut versi mreka masing2. Saya tidak akan membiacarakan apa yang mreka aspirasikan. Terlalu panjang tuk dibahas. Saya lebih tertarik terhadap apa yang mreka lakukan untuk menyuarakan aspirasi itu.

Seakan sudah menjadi pakem dan tradisi bahwa penyampaian aspirasi harus dilakukan dengan turun ke jalan dan melakukan unjuk rasa. Ngga masalah bagiku. Namun yg jadi masalah adalah apa2 yg terjadi setelah itu. Sebagai suatu tindak unjuk rasa, penyampaian pendapat mreka di muka umum sudah merupakan suatu aspirasi. Namun mahasiswa skrng seakan merasa bahwa hal ini aja g kan cukup tuk menyampaikan aspirasi mreka. Sehingga….terkadang hal2 aneh dan ajaib pun sering mreka lakukan sebagai bumbu unjuk rasa mreka.

Mogok makan, penyanderaan kendaraan, pemblokiran jalan, dan hal2 aneh lainnya bisa menjadi salah satu cara agar dapat menarik perhatian masyarakat luas. Namun demikian, apa bener aspirasi mreka tersampaikan?Apa bukannya masyarakat yang menyaksikan mreka bukannya tambah antipati dan benci dengan cara2 mreka yang terkesan tidak cerdas, mengganggu dan merusak itu?Padahal sebagai mahasiswa, sudah seharusnya mreka memperlihatkan suatu kematangan berpikir dalam pikiran dan tindakan mreka. Bukannya malah memperlihatkan suatu tindak kebodohan dan anarkisme.

Saya yakin, masyarakat tetap mendambakan adanya suatu unjuk rasa once in a while. Hanya saja, saya yakin mreka takkan senang pula kalo cara unjuk rasa itu dilakukan dengan cara2 yg justru kontraproduktif dan berlawanan dengan nilai intelektualitas mreka sebagai mahasiswa. Sebagai mahasiswa, saya rasa mreka perlu menyampaikan aspirasi mreka dengan cara dengan kekuatan logika, bukannya logika kekuatan. Kalo demikian caranya, bukan tidak mungkin mahasiswa akan kehilangan simpati mreka dri masyarakat akibat perilaku mreka sendiri.

Bicara masalah perilaku, hal ini juga terkadang menjadi suatu ironi. Masih banyak dijumpai aktivis mahasiswa yang antara tindakan dan apa yang mreka sampaikan bertolak belakang 180 derajat. Seakan dunia kampus dan luar adalah 2 dunia yg berbeda sama sekali. Juga fakta bahwa aktivitas mreka sebagai aktivis juga harus mengorbankan kuliah mreka. Ironi memang. Dalam berkehidupan d kampus, tentu ada trade-off 2 tertentu yg harus dilakukan. Namun dari pengalaman dan pengamatan saya sendiri, sudah jadi rahasia umum bahwa kul cenderung ditinggalkan.

Hal2 diatas merupakan suatu sentilan belaka terhadap bagaimana seharusnya mahasiswa berlaku dalam menyampaikan aspirasi mereka. Juga agar mahasiswa tidak lupa terhadap kewajiban utama mreka untuk belajar. Tentu masyarakat akan lebih respek klo yg demo2 itu adalah mahasiswa dgn IPK2 tinggi. Dengan demikian, akan terlihat kecerdasan dan intelektualitas dia di mata masyarakat. Nothing is perfect really. But at least we can try even the equilibrium between study and our role as an agent of change. Its not hard, but it just needs commitment, hard work and a couple of sacrifices.

After Capitalism (Part 2)

Kembali ke topic. Sebagaimana telah kujelaskan d blogku sebelumnya, begitulah dampak nyata kapitalisme d ozzy yg kutinggali skrng ini. Singkat kata, g seindah apa yg digembar gemborkan oleh para pendukung kapitalisme selama ini.

Itu masih kalo dilihat dri segi materi. Tapi yg paling parah dari kapitalisme ini adalah hilangnya aspek moral dan hari nurani manusia. Aq g kan heran dgn fakta ini karena bagaimanapun, kapitalisme yg mementingkan segi pengumpulan materi duniawi dgn cara apapun, tentunya akan menggerus nilai moralitas, nurani dan tentunya rohani.

G susah kok nyari contoh nyata tuk hal ini. Saksikanlah bagaimana dekadensi kapitalisme telah member jalan terhadap lahirnya fakta seperti munculnya kaum hombreng, seks bebas, individualism, bunuh diri, pedofilia, korupsi, pluralisme agama, dan HIV/AIDS.

Ketika agama pun dijadikan pelarian utk menutupi kekurangan dan kekeringan batin akibat ketidakmampuan kapitalisme memenuhi naluri manusia yg satu ini, apakah agama sukses?Jawabannya bsa ya bsa tidak. Tidak jika agama hanya dijadikan sarana memenuhi aspek rohani belaka. Memang, semua manusia akan butuh sarana pemenuhan utk menyalurkan naluri kerohanian mreka. Namun demikian, pemenuhan naluri ini saja tidak kan pernah cukup tuk menyelesaikan berbagai masalah di dunia yg telah bagaikan benang kusut.

Dibutuhkan suatu solusi komprehensif dan alami sesuai fitrah manusia utk dapat menyelesaikan masalah2 diatas. Kapitalisme?Jelas2 ini telah gagal menyelesaikan masalah dan juga sekaligus gagal memanusiakan manusia karena membuat manusia menjadi hamba materi. Sosialisme?Keruntuhan entitas pengusung sosialisme/komunisme pada awal dekade 90an telah menunjukkan bahwa ideology ini tdk lebih baik dri kapitalisme sekalipun.

So…what’s the solution. I’ d say back to Islam. Why would I say this? First, empirically, Islam tdk hanya merupakan suatu agama ritual belaka tpi sekaligus juga merupakan agama yg member tuntunan hidup terhadap semua sendi kehidupan baik itu sosial, masyarakat, makan-minum, cara berpakaian, ekonomi sampai politik. Kedua, secara historis, Islam pernah Berjaya selama kurang lebih 13 abad lamanya dalam menerapkan syariah-Nya dan selama itu pula tidak hanya umat Islam yang diuntungkan tpi umat agama lain.

Yang jelas ini bukan merupakan suatu utopia karena dulu pernah diterapkan. Hanya dibutuhkan pencerahan dari umat manusia utk dapat memahami bahwa gusti Allah SWT telah memberikan kita seperangkat aturan yang Maha Agung yakni syariah-Nya. Kenapa kita masih berpaling pada yg lain dan telah terbukti mendatangkan bencana dan malapetaka tiada akhir?Kalo kita melihat, memikirkan dan merenung berbagai fakta dari kapitalisme, akan kita dapati bahwa hanya masalah waktu saja sd kapitalisme akan bernasib seperti komunisme dulu, yakni keruntuhan dan kehancurannya. Kapan?Only the heavens know…But then…everything can be excelled with the will and power of mankind. We r not just puppets of the skies, but we have the power to decide our own fate and future. So….it all goes back to mankind, do they wanna perish or go forward…?

After Capitalism (Part 1)

Its been 5 months here in ozzy. I'm not again in the mode of adapting myself, but already starting to enjoy things here. Despite enjoying things, there are certain facts that u just cannot ignore whatever it is.

Even though u can enjoy ur live in ozzy, whatever status u r. Wether as a student, a worker, a PR or even a citizen, there r limits on how much of a life u can enjoy here. Even though ozzy, as like various other modern countries in the world such as USA, UK, Japan, France and the other bunch, have a dazzling light on the infinite opportunities they can offer, their light is starting to wane away.

Where shall i start?I'll start from the one point which is oil. Its common knowledge now that oil price is soaring to unexpected levels beyond ones forecast. This has led to various rise in prices of other commodities, mainly those for fulfilling a basic needs of a person. This has led not only people in third world countris to suffer more, but people in countries mentioned above r also starting to suffer the dire consequences of the hiking oil prices.

Thats from one aspect which was oil. Other aspects concerns the the welfare of the people here. At once, I thought that the people in modern countries with their capitalism, where living in an other world. Where everything was affordable and they could buy anything to their hearts content. Where money could buy anything. But then...all those things were just a mere illussion. It turned that people here r even suffering more of the effects of capitalism. It might not seem that way but thats because the proponents of capitalism r just struggling to hide the decays of capitalism. I've seen many examples here. People struggling to get their centerlink money. Pensioners neglected by the government. Indigenous people deliberately marginalized. What more can u ask?

The jargon that money would flow to the society according to the trickle down effect has been a complete lie. The truth is in capitalism, once a person lay their hands on a money, they would try everything to keep their money 2 themselves and fulfill their greed to gain more money at the cost of others. The trickle down effect would only happen in the form of leakages that would even be in the form of petty cash.

To Be Continued….

Dice...Winter...Surprises

My holiday has officially started the beginning of this week. As other students work their asses on exams and so on, I'm just enjoying my time right now. The enjoyment has certainly gave me some surprises that i haven't expected.

The first is the marks on my study. I've got the results from two of my units. Not bad to be honest...an A minus for my final ass on FAT and 90 on my 2nd managerial ass. Just need to know the other 2 results from other units and i can conclude that the latter half of this semester was flawless...^_^. I can't give a self evaluation on myself, but by the results, i can pretty much say that my time management revolution did work really well. And I have started to reap the benefits of my hard work.

The next is more bout my work. Since its holiday, I've decided to add my working hours, which my boss gladly agreed. But then again, it didn'turn out as smooth as i expected. I in fact made numerous errors in my work. From working slow, splilling a tray of meat and cutting meat in the wrong size. The latter was the most frustating part 4 me. It has been 5 weeks since i've worked and i still can't get myself to cut a dice meat in a proper size. I either end up cutting it too small or too big..>_<. It just seems a mystery on the dice shape....:(

All those things have ultimately resulted in a somewhat surprise 4 me. What would that be is still secret 4 the moment. But its certainly something that i did not expect in my semester holiday. Just hope to really fill in that time properly if it really comes to reality. Amiin...

I'm not looking to write much 4 the moment. Besides, its getting colder these days due to the coming of winter these days. Gotta get enough eat and rest if i am 2 enjoy my holiday. That's all 4 now and C U

Holiday Time...YEAH!!!!

Akhirnya...selesai juga 1 semester disini. Kalo temen2 lain pada masih harus nyiapin diri menghadapi UAS, well...luckily i don't have to go through all that pain. Why..?Coz I don't have any exams!!Ya...ada sih...tapi itupun cuma 1 dan dalam bentuk take home exam. Jadi..technically, you can say that i don't have any exams right?

Namun demikian, bukan berarti prodi-ku termasuk yg gampang. Bisa dibilang sama susahnya, hanya aja prodi-ku lebih menitik beratkan ke tugas2 sehari-hari. Jadinya, aku lebih banyak menghadapi tugas membuat paper dan telaah pustaka ato kasus. Who says this kind of ass is easy...??It can turn out bloody hard actually.

Nevertheless, dalam menghadapi batch terakhir tugas2 gw, aku belajar banyak bagaimana me-manage diri dan waktuku. Belajar dari pengalaman 1st tuition free week, aku sukses mengatur jadwalku sehingga menjelang tenggat pengumpulan semua tugas2, aku sanggup menyelesaikan tugas2ku 2-3 hari lebuh cepat dari seharusnya.

Namun demikian, I did have my ups and downs on finishing my assignments. But then...alhamdulillah all got finished. dengan kondisi sudah kerja terutama, aku jujur aja g nyangka bisa sampe gini. Kepikiran aja..."kok bsa ya?". Anyway, it did happen, so I'm still left on how i did pull out my potential.

Singkat kata, now i can enjoy and reap my free time for the next 1,5 months onwards. Pastinya sih aku bakal nambah waktu kerjaku, mo ngapaian lagian kalo g kerja. G mungkinlah aku nganggur di kamar aja ato jalan2 ngabisin duit. Be productive ker!!!

Speaking of work...he..he..finally...got my first ever payroll!!Sure was tough, but it certainly maked me realize that money is sure hard to get. U've gotta put all your efforts and concentration to get even the slightest amount of money. By this I've realized more that, money is indeed not something u can waste on since its hard to get nowadays.

So...here i come too enjoy life in the winter holiday once again (after not feeling winter for the last 14 years)...YEAH!!!!

Dreams

Finally,its getting to the end of semester here. After almost 3 months of hard study, I can finally take a rest for myself. I do hope that the results turn out in my favor. Of course, I can now concentrate on things that were neglected during semester. Can't remember on by one, but surely there r a bunch of it.

Then again, i can start to let my mind run wild after the last few months having to put it in line with others. What I like when there's nothing to do is to let myself dream. Not a mere dream, but its more like reminisce. Relating the past with current and future things.

Ever since I've arrived here, I've been doing dozens of contemplations of my dreams, conscious or not. In short, I'm greatfully thankfull to Allah SWT that I've been a second chance to prove my worth. To regain my lost time during my bachelor days.

Now, its more like putting the pieces of my scattered dreams all together. What dreams?Well...everything a man can think of. Since the first time I've dreamnt on something till everything was scattered 2 years ago, there were countless things I've dreamnt of.

I heard a saying that one man gets one chance, but a good man gets a second chance. So...I do hope I'm a good man by gaining a second chance to rebuild my dreams. Rebuilding ones dream isn't a simple task. Its like learning everything all together again, from zero.

Over the past 2 years since my dreams were shattered, I've been contemplating and wondering, what really went wrong with my dream. Was it feasable or was it just a mere utopia 4 me? Those early months did make myself calm and rethink my whole future and dreams. From that moment on, I learned life the hard way.

It certainly did make me mature in life to a certain degree. Enabling me to think from a broader and comprehensive perspective. And also make me realize that life is still full of dreams to be reached. But only if u know what ur doing and the path u follow.

Again bout sayings, I read a novel. In that novel, there was a saying that roughly means "Let urself to dream, for God shall embrace your dreams". Then I realized, life hasn't ended for me. LIfe is still is enjoyable if u stay put with your dreams and strive for it.

Therefore, I've always been dreaming on what my future would be. But still, I don't want to let myself become a dreamer. Therefore, I've always prayed for Allah SWT just to give whats best for me. Surely over the time, I too will improve myself. Just so I can make myself suitable for whats destined for me.

So...what else can i hope for?Nothing much though i think. Humans can only hope, But it is Allah SWT who shall decide...

Money...Uang...お金

It's been 3 month here in perth and its heading to the final stages of my 1st semester here. With the last tuition free week passing, what's left are just heaps of final assignments from each subject to finish off. And I'm not talking bout ordinary asses, but asses with thousand word numbers like 3000-5000 words.

Not like the previous tuition free week where I kinda slacked off, this time I made things right. I managed to put everything back in order, my schedules, mentality and my health. I had to do this to avoid repeating the same mistake on the first tuition free week whiched caused me to pile work at the last moments.

Eventhough the last 5 weeks will be more of a hell, I'm quite confident on doing it coz I've managed to get things straight until now. Just need to jog things up so that everything can really be put into motion. At least, there will be no day for me without even studying. So...time to gear up.

While my mind can gear up, something is going down...which is my wallet. I thought this was only at the end of the month but it seems its gonna last for the next month of may. This definitely has caused me to tighten my spendings here for the rest of the month. One of the consequences for me are no hanging out with friends for the whole month. Even though I can, there are just many unexpected spendings bound to happen. Not to mention the high risk of having to skip prayer times, which is one thing i really despise from my friends. Don't they even remember this???:(

Eventhough I had money to hang out, with all the work to be done, It's just a wish coz my work until now has overweighed the desire to hang out. So, I guess its a blessing in disguise for me not having much money to begin with. Therefore I can concentrate more on my studies. So...a simple life is wha I'm gonna have to do for the whole month...

The only chance for me to get more money is to work here. Luckily I did make a deal on this matter, earning myself a job at a local halal butcher. Thanks goodness...at least I can fill in the holes in my pocket from my own salary. Despite the rising study work, I'm sure my work won't be in the way coz the work itself isn't that hard. I was even tod it was quite laid back with flexible hours. But then again, the trade off is that the place doesn't offer great pay to begin with.

I just hope i can survive the rest of the month with just $350 in hand. Man....that's sure tough. Even I'm gonna reduce my groceries and eat with a smaller portion. Can'tskip meals coz I'm just gonna end up sick like I did in the last week before the last tuition free week.

As for refreshments, I'm not really keen on walking around. Besides, eben if I where to walk around, I have the money to at least act as a buffer in my wallet. BUt its not of a worry. As matter of fact, I was sent 3 animonz magazine from home. Just reading these magz can make my mind fresher in the midst of the pile of work. A novel was also sent to me called "Ayat-Ayat Cinta". I was wondering whats special about this novel till it can make a huge impact in Indonesia lately/

Just 4 weeks left till the end of semester. Gotta give it ur all and struggle to the end. Maybe after that, I can really relax myself thoroughly till the start of the next semester comes. So....FIGHT!!!